Dreams & Love

My name is Deepak but like Shakespeare once said, what’s in a name? Like everyone else I have my share of dreams as well, but none bigger than to become a multimillionaire one day. You might think that I am greedy, but tell me who isn’t? Anyway the real reason behind my dream has got nothing to do with money at all. It’s the power that I crave for. The power that one has when they are at the top of their profession. The power to live my life like I want to and above all the power to eliminate fear from my life. The power to become so big that nothing can ever hurt me again, even fate. In order to know why I feel this way you’ll have to know about me and my past I guess. Although I have graduated from a top law college in Mumbai, the lessons one needs to learn in life were picked by me at an early age due to my circumstances. My parents died before I took my first step and if it wasn’t for my uncle’s kindness, I might have ended up in one of the many orphanages this city has. Of course even he got an immediate reward for his kindness and that was that he sold my parents house and opened his own law firm with that money. Still, don’t feel sorry for me, I don’t. I’m no different than the thousands of children that lose their parents everyday.

My aunt who didn’t have any children of her own after 5 years of marriage saw the son she always wanted in me and loved me like I was her own kid. About 2 years after my uncle adopted me my aunt felt severe pain one day and he rushed her to hospital. Doctors gave him the good news that he was about to become a father. They were so happy but it turned out to be a difficult pregnancy during which my aunt was rushed to the hospital several times. One day when uncle was out of town my aunt was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. It was about a month before they were expecting their first child. Unfortunately she died while giving birth to their daughter who was later named Depika by my uncle. It’s seems like misfortune was never far away from our family. I was sent to a boarding school shortly after that since he didn’t even have any time to raise his own daughter. He worked hard day and night to establish his law firm as one of the biggest in the country but never had any time for me or Depika. In fact he never even married again.Their were rumors of several affairs with his secretaries and even some clients but who knows if their was any truth to them? I guess both me and Depika missed our parents throughout our childhood but having no parents around shaped our lives quite differently. I wanted to succeed in life at any cost and fully devoted myself to my studies. After getting my law degree with flying colors I joined my uncle’s law firm and within no time started moving up the ranks. Somehow I knew that this would be my ladder towards my goals. On the other hand Depika turned out to be a wild one. She lived her life on the edge.

Depika…Depika……how much that name means to me even I don’t know? How and when did this crush of mine start? Hmm…in order to answer that I’ll have to look at our relationship right from our childhood. I still remember when I used to come to my uncle’s home during my summer vacations. Even at that age she used to be the center of my attention. No, it was not love as I was too young to know what love was back then. It was kind of like drooling over the expensive candy box in a shop even though you knew you don’t have any money to buy it. She was always clad in the finest clothes available and looked like a princess. Not surprisingly she was the envy of most kids back then including me. I mean here I was an orphan studying in a boarding school, yet she was living in this huge house that looked more like a palace and with a father that loved her so much. At that tender age I was too young to notice that my uncle Raj was almost never around her and she in her own way missed her parents just as much as I missed mine. As the years passed by I started developing a crush on her. In the beginning it was just because she had everything I dreamed of in my life but as we hit our puberty, she turned out to be a real beauty. She was the center of attention everywhere, be it her friends, teachers or our relatives. I on the other hand was a pimply bookworm with ordinary looks. In fact everything about me was just that, plain ordinary. Well apart from my grades maybe and they used to make me even less popular among the kids.

Even when I was at my Uncle’s house on my summer vacations I didn’t spend as much time with her as I wanted. Unsurprisingly our circle of friends was different. Mine included book worms like me or plain losers. She on the other hand was surrounded by the so called cool kids. It’s not that I didn’t try to be with her when she was going out with them or whenever they came to visit her. It’s just that I could sense her embarrassment whenever I was around them. Frankly who could blame her? A perfect combination of my plain looks, out of fashion clothes and not having the video games like the rest of them was more than enough to qualify me as a plain loser in their eyes. I started living in my imaginary world where I had my own castle and everyone was dying to get my attention in it. Of course there was my queen as well in that castle and no prizes for guessing that it was Depika. They say that childhood is your best time of life. Well I used to pray that is just a myth because if those were the best days of my life then I didn’t even wanted to think about the bad one’s. Maybe the best thing about time is that no matter if it’s good or bad it keeps on moving. I was no longer a lonely pimpled boy. In fact I turned out to be far more good looking than anyone ever expected including me. Unsurprisingly I passed the school with flying colors and was studying in a top law university now. Uncle Raj even started giving me pocket money. It wasn’t much but sure was better than nothing. If lady luck was finally smiling on me then in Depika’s case it was as if God had nothing else to do than to perfect her beauty. Oh yes she was a knockout for sure. Long legs, curvaceous body, flowing hair, deep eyes and full lips. We were studying in the same university. She didn’t want to become a lawyer but uncle did and he had a way of making people do whatever he wanted. I still remember that almost everybody in our university used to lust after her including some of our professors. She knew that to and never missed an opportunity to use that to her advantage.

Life didn’t get much easier for me when I was in university. Yeah I might not look like a dog anymore but while I was beginning to get inviting stares from many female students and a few males as well, the only one I was interested in never gave me any attention. It was as if I didn’t even exist for her. What made it worse was that it was not as if she was the shy type either. Boys were falling all over her and she used to flirt and walk all over them like they were Persian carpet rolled under her feet. Yet she never got serious with anyone or at least that’s what i used to tell myself. Well until one day my eyes finally opened.

I was at my uncle’s house on summer vacation and Depika was out partying with her friends as usual. Later she rang home and told the house maid that her car had broken down and she would stay at her friend Priya’s house tonight. Later that night when uncle returned and the house maid told her about Depika’s phone call he got pissed and told me to go in his car and bring Depika at once. Well when I reached Priya’s house she told me that Depika was not there and she was still at Manav’s house where the party was going on. I got a little concerned as I never really liked Manav or him getting cozy with Depika yet for the past few weeks I couldn’t help notice them getting closer and closer. When I reached his house there were still many cars parked outside his house and loud music blasting in the background. His parents must be out of the city. When I entered the house it was overrun with people. Everywhere I looked there were empty bottles, most of them still drinking and a few passed out on the floor. Yet I didn’t spot Depika or even Manav for that matter. That made me even more nervous. After asking someone I went to the second floor and went towards his room. There were strange voices coming from his room as I got closer to it. The door was not fully closed and just when I was about to enter the room, what I saw took my breath away. Manav was lying on the bed naked and Depika was on top riding him. Her magnificent breasts were out in their full glory and going up and down as she was riding him hard. Her eyes were closed and she was moaning loudly. He was holding her hips and squeezing and slapping them. It was too much for me to take. I walked slowly downstairs and asked one of her friends if she could find Depika and tell her that I’m here. 20 minutes later she came downstairs fully dressed as if nothing had happened. A few minutes later we were riding back home. None of us exchanged any words while in the car and there was silence all around us yet I could hear the voice of something being shattered. It was my heart.

There’s a big difference between love and a crush. True love might not have the intensity of a crush yet even if you fail the feelings remain in the heart. On the other hand even if you get heart broken in a crush, it will not take you long to get over it and move on with your life. I guess the same happened with me as well. Yes there were many nights after that incident when I cried silently in the darkness of the night yet I got over it. Time moved on and thanks to my hard work I was at the top of my class in university. Even Depika managed to pass somehow. Both of us were working in Uncle Raj’s firm now. She for obvious reasons and I would like to think that I earned it.

Once there I worked even harder. Somehow I knew this should turn out to be my ticket to fulfilling my dreams. One thing I noticed was that I was not the only guy who was working late in the firm. Uncle Raj was always there as well working late into the night. Years later he still had the same passion and desire which really inspired me. One night I had a strange dream. There was this beautiful city and flowers were blowing in the wind. Right in the center of that city an astonishing tower was standing and in front of it 2 people were standing holding each other and looking lovingly at one another. Slowly their heads turn towards me. They were my parents.

That dream didn’t shock me. I have only a few pictures of my parents with me and out of these my favorite is them standing in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. There is a cute story as well that goes along with that picture. I was told that my parents met for the first time in France. My father went there on a business trip and met my mom there. She was studying there at that time. How they met and other details are a bit of a mystery but from what I have been told it was love at first sight and only a few days later they married. When I was a kid I used to dream of going to Paris one day while looking at that picture. As the years passed my ambitions overtook that dream of mine but after seeing that dream that night a strange urge of going there came back with a vengeance. Maybe I just wanted to see the city of love for myself where my parents met and fell in love.

I was always saving money as much as possible because I knew if the need ever arose no one would really help me, but from that day on I started saving even more aggressively in order to fund a trip to Paris. I know it was maybe childish but who says that all dreams need to make sense? While I was now occupied with this, Depika was showing no signs of change. As the years went by she turned even more wild than before. Manav was long gone and after him followed a long list of boyfriends, there were so many I lost count long ago. Many times she returned home drunk and for the past few weeks I was suspicious that she might be into drugs. Uncle Raj was dying inside after seeing her destroy her life like that but if he was worried by her way of life then his world was about to be rocked.

Most men are like dogs when it comes to women. As soon as they see one it will not take them long to come sniffing around and if that girl turns out to be an inviting one, well then can you really blame them? It didn’t took long for most of younger lawyers and some old fucks as well to start hitting on Depika and as always being the attention whore that she was it made her feel like being on cloud 9. From her flirtatious looks to her revealing clothes and getting cozy with anyone that showed interest in her. It used to make me both sad and angry sometimes. I mean she had everything that most girls of her age dream about yet here she was acting more like a slut than someone who ran this firm that took her father all his life to build. Yes maybe there was more to my annoyance than simply seeing her throw away her life. Maybe somewhere in my heart I still had feelings for her even if they were feelings of jealousy seeing that she never noticed me in the way she does others. Maybe I needed a break as I had been working really hard for about 2 years after joining the firm and not to mention all those years of studying hard in university. That trip to Paris couldn’t come too early as far as I was concerned. Thankfully I managed to save more than enough money to go there and got permission for 4 weeks off in the summer.

Even though Depika was a real prick tease and flirted with anything that moves, she didn’t get serious with everyone. Trouble was that those who managed to get close to her were always the worst of a bad bunch. It was as if she had God’s gift of finding the wrong guy at the wrong time. Once again history repeated itself and she started an affair with a fellow lawyer at the firm. His name was Nitin and he used to hit on everything that breathes. It sounds weird but I felt as if he was even giving me signals sometimes! I would like to think that it was only my imagination but these days you never know. Of course none of us at that time knew that Depika was seriously involved with him since she was flirting with just about everyone at the firm. The fact that he was married didn’t let anyone get suspicious either. I always took it as if he was just another married man trying to act like a playboy before going home and facing the reality of an overweight wife and changing the diapers of kids. It might have remained a secret if it wasn’t for the fact that one day the shit really did hit the fan. She didn’t knew what to do and in panic came to Uncle’s office. It was late in the night and all the employees were gone long ago and we were busy discussing a complicated case when a panicked Depika came into his office and without even noticing that I was there started speaking hysterically……

Depika:”Papa I have some bad news. I’m sorry papa(started crying)…..I’m really sorry…..Please forgive me.” She said that and then really started crying like someone died. Even I was alarmed as I have never really seen her cry before or in that state. She was even calm when he told uncle Raj that she smashed his brand new Mercedes a year ago.

Raj:”Get hold of yourself and tell me what it is? Don’t worry I’ll fix everything. What happened? Did you run someone over? Don’t worry papa will take care of everything.” He was hugging her now and trying his best to calm her down.

Depika:”You(sobs) will papa? Promise?” She asked while trying to unsuccessfully control her tears.

Raj:”Yes I will. Now stop crying and tell me what is the problem?”

Depika:”I…..I….(sobs) I’m pregnant papa.” She said that and started crying hysterically once again. I saw the anger on Uncle Raj’s face yet he remained silent for what seemed like an eternity but was only a few minutes. Finally when he started to speak again, I was amazed at the calmness of his voice. Needless to say I was shocked by what was going on before my own eyes.

Raj:”Who is it?”

Depika:”Ni..Nitin. I told him to wear a condom but(sobs) he didn’t listen to me.”

Raj:”Listen to me carefully now. Take control of yourself. Go home and wait for me there. Don’t let anyone know about this and don’t even call that scumbag. Don’t worry I’ll fix up this mess.” As soon as she was gone he told me to ring Nitin and tell him to come at once. I did that and half an hour later Nitin was in his office as well. I tried to leave when Nitin came but Uncle Raj told me to stay there. What I witnessed afterwards can only describe as verbally raping someone.

When uncle first told him about Depika getting pregnant he tried to play it smooth and told him that he’ll fix everything by divorcing his wife and all the crap about how he didn’t love his wife and how he was madly in love with Depika. I was amazed at the nerve of that prick! At that time I realized that he planned the whole thing. yet what he didn’t knew was that not all things turn out according to plan. Once he was finally silent uncle Raj started slaughtering him with verbal abuses and threats that were dipped in venom. Lets just say that by the time he was finished Nitin was crying like a 6 year old and he was shaking like a leaf in autumn. Not only was he fired but was told to leave the city forever in 1 week with his family otherwise say goodbye to his career forever and everything that will happen to him or his family.

The thing is that with his contacts and power, Uncle Raj was fully capable of doing that and even more and he knew that too. He ran away from the office as soon as uncle told him to fuck off and that was the last time I ever saw him again. The very next day he arranged for an abortion for Depika and in less than 24 hours put all this to bed. I was amazed by how he sorted the whole mess out but little did i know that he was still not done yet.

Although I was over Depika. It will be a lie if I said that what happened with her didn’t affect me. The heart is not like a computer where you can delete a file and it will be gone forever. Once you have strong feelings for someone then deep in your heart they will always remain even if you won’t admit it. I might not love Depika anymore but that doesn’t mean I was not feeling sorry for her. The girl who once was always full of life and glowing was long gone and in her place I saw a pale shadow of her former self. She was resting at home after what happened with her.

I was living in my rented 1 room flat for the past year now. It might be small and not even my own but it was my small piece of heaven. For the first time I was living on my own and nobody was paying a single dime for this. On my salary I could have rented a much better apartment or even taken a loan to buy my own, yet I was busy saving money for that trip. Speaking of which the travel agent rang me and told that my ticket was ready. I was just so happy. Next week I was finally going to the city where my parents met for the first time. I know it makes no sense but I felt as if they would be with me when I would be there. It felt as if they wanted me to go there and maybe that’s why that dream kept on coming back to me. I took the day off from office. After what happened yesterday I didn’t felt like going to work. Anyway just as I was about to go to the travel agent to pick up my ticket my phone rang. It was Uncle Raj. He asked if I could come to his house. There was something important he wanted to discuss with me. Of course I said I will be there. I was curious about what he wanted to discuss with me as we had already discussed the case yesterday and besides he didn’t discuss office matters at home. After collecting my ticket I went straight to his house. The maid told me that he was in his study so I went there. As soon as he saw me he got up from his chair and hugged me which really surprised me as I don’t remember the last time he showed that kind of affection to me. I mean he was not exactly the emotional kind that would show these kind of emotions. Anyway he told me to take a seat.

Raj:”Deepak Deepak my boy. Look at you. You have grown up. I still remember the small frightened kid I took home when your parents died and now look at you.” I remained silent but but was blushing at him again and again pointing out that I have grown up. It was weird really seeing him talk like that and I didn’t know how to respond so I remained silent and just kept on staring at him like a jackass. Finally he started talking again.

Raj:”Deepak right from an early age you never ceased to amaze me and today I’m proud of the young man sitting in front of me. Yet I can see the same spark in your eyes that I once had many years ago. People like us are never satisfied until we are at the top of our field. The thing is there’s one hell of a difference between when I started my struggle and today. On your own you can’t reach where I am today. Are you getting what I’m trying to say?”

Deepak:”What do I have to do to get that help sir?” He had a big grin on his face after hearing that. It was almost as if he was expecting that reply.

Raj:”See that’s what I like about you my boy. You get right to the point. It took me years of hard work and sleepless nights to build this firm. Now all this can be yours but there are no free lunches in this world my boy. Don’t you agree?”

Deepak:”I do sir.”

Raj:”Good good so here’s the deal, marry Depika. See Deepak I know that you know everything about her so I don’t need to lie to you. The truth is I am responsible for how she turned out. Sometimes I wish your aunt was still alive. I doubt if Depika would have turned out like that had she been alive. Anyway I’m sure even your aunt would have liked you to marry Depika”. He obviously had practiced this before I came into his mind and as always being the pro that he was, played all his cards to perfection but I was pissed at myself for not thinking about him calling me with this offer and make no mistake about it, that it really was an offer not a proposal. Once again I felt silent after hearing his offer. At points like these us lawyers are busy figuring out the pros and cons of such offers but my mind was too numb to figure them out.

Deepak:”If you don’t mind then I need a little time to think this through. Besides you know I’m going on vacation next week sir.”

Raj:”Take your time my boy but as you know patience is not one of my strong points. Tell you what, think about it on your vacation and when you get back let me know about it.”

Deepak:”I’ll do that sir.”

Raj:”By the way if you don’t mind me asking, why are you going to France all of a sudden? I mean with your salary this trip must be costing you an arm and a leg.” He asked curiously.

Deepak:”Hard to explain this sir but as I have been told my parents met for the first time in Paris. It was always one of my dreams to go there one day. I have been saving money for quite some time now but I’m sure it’ll be worth it.”

Raj:”You know you could have just asked me for money.” Really? Somehow I doubt it.

Deepak:”Thanks sir but you have already done too much for me. Anyway if you don’t mind I must go now.” After getting his permission I got out of the house as soon as possible. I needed some fresh air. Things were moving too fast and I couldn’t believe how much had happened in the space of 2 days. As I was standing outside the house my eyes caught someone standing at the open window on the second floor. It was none other than Depika herself. For the first time in my life our eyes locked. There were no emotions on our faces yet our eyes were doing the talking. Was that an silent agreement among us? Only time will tell I guess.

The next few days before going on my dream vacation were really tough for me mentally. I kept on thinking about the offer. On one hand everything that I ever wished for was now being offered to me on a plate, but then again I never imagined or wanted it like that. I always wanted to be where uncle Raj was and lusted after Depika for so long yet the price to achieve these now is very high indeed. Her affairs or even the fact that she just had an abortion was not such a big turn off for me as it would have been for many other men. The thing that was bothering me the most was that she didn’t have any feelings for me and I was not sure if I had any for her now. What kind of a marriage will I be in then? Yet I am not a fool. I know that everything has a price in this world. The only question left was, am I willing to pay? I was not so sure about it and needed some time to come to a conclusion. Thankfully I will have plenty of time to think this through in the next few weeks.

Finally the big day arrived. I still remember how excited I was sitting in the plane on my way to Paris. Even though the air hostesses it seemed were trained to make you feel miserable and the food served was horrible, I was just way too happy to care about petty things like these. At last the plane finally landed and after spending almost an hour at the airport going through many pain in the ass procedures I was finally in the city of love, Paris. I took a taxi to my hotel where I had a reservation. It was one of the cheapest ones available there yet to me it still felt like I was paying a fortune. The room that I rented was small and unimpressive with strange red wall paper yet at least it was clean. I was really tired since I hardly slept for 1 minute in the plane due to being overexcited. So I did the logical thing and slept like a baby. I woke up early next morning and was very hungry so decided to go outside for breakfast and inspect my location as well. The hotel was located in one of the poor areas of Paris and but still I couldn’t help but admire it. The one thing which I noticed when I was in the taxi yesterday and now was that almost everywhere they were selling french cheeses. Hard to believe that the french are so addicted to cheese considering that I didn’t see many fat people around there. In fact even the one’s that I did see were men. All the women that I saw were fit and wearing fashionable clothes. After a simple but delicious breakfast I purchased a map of the city.

Before coming to France I read a few magazine articles and searched the internet to find out interesting facts and places to see in Paris. The one thing that really interested me were the different cruises that were offered there. I had never even been on a small boat never mind a cruise in my life. There was a special offer which was just too good to resist so I bought a ticket to the cheapest one available. With the help of my map I reached the cruise just in time. It was a 1 day cruise around the sites of the city. Paris is surrounded by rivers and to see the sights and monuments of the city which included the Eiffel tower and Notre Dame, people prefer these cruises. Different cruises are offered which range from 1-4 days. To see the views more clearly I went up on the deck. Not many people were up there which was a bit strange but maybe they were busy in the ship’s restaurant or the tax free shops in the boat. It was a little cold on the deck and the wind was blowing. Among the sharply clad french people I spotted what looked to me like an Indian girl sitting alone on the far end of the deck. There was something about her that attracted me from so far away and I started walking towards her. The closer I got the more mesmerized I become by her beauty. She had long flowing hair which in the wind was looking even more beautiful, deep almond shaped eyes which penetrated through my heart, full lips and fair and flawless skin. Unsurprisingly she had a blanket on her legs considering the strong wind that was blowing. The truth is it felt as if my heart stopped upon seeing her. I heard about such things in movies and read in a few novels as well but never believed it. Could it really be true? Is that what many call love at first sight?

It’s only when she raised her eyes that I realized that I was staring at her like a geek for God knows how long? If ever I saw a beauty that can be described as spell binding then she was it. I want to describe her in detail but the truth is there are no words that can do justice to her beauty.

Deepak:”If you don’t mind may I sit here.” She started looking at the many free tables on the deck and said…

Neha:”I guess so but there are lots of free tables here then why do you want to sit here?” She asked suspiciously.

Deepak:”Well to tell you the truth it’s my first time outside India and I don’t know anyone here. I saw an Indian sitting here alone and couldn’t resist coming here to chat with you but if I’m disturbing you then sorry, I’ll leave you alone.”

Neha:”No not at all.” She said with a smile that dazzled me.

Deepak:”By the way I’m Deepak.” I said while extending my hand towards her.

Neha:”Please to meet you Deepak. I’m Neha.” She said while shaking my hand. As soon as I touched her it was as if electricity went right through my spine. Her skin was so soft and her hand so delicate.

Neha:”So Deepak what bring you to Paris?”

Deepak:”Err….you’ll laugh at me if I tell the truth.”

Neha:”Why would I do that? Come on it can’t be worse than those who just came to France to enjoy being naked on our beaches in South.” My jaw dropped and eyes jumped out of their sockets at what she said. Seeing my reaction she started laughing. My she looked even more pretty while laughing.

Neha:”I was just kidding but seriously if you don’t mind then may I ask you what brings you here?” She asked curiously.

Deepak:”Well I lost my parents when I was just a kid. I was just way too young to even remember anything about them. The only thing that made me felt connected with them is through a picture that they took in front of the Eiffel Tower here in Paris. I know it sounds stupid but I always wanted to come here and feel what they must have felt once.”

Neha:”No it’s not stupid at all. If anything it’s heart warming to see your love for your parents.” She said that and gently placed her hand on mine. At the same time I couldn’t help noticing a few tears that came to her eyes.

Deepak:”What happened? Did I say something wrong?”

Neha:”No it’s not you…..I just remembered my father. I used to come with him on this cruise when I was a kid. He was always so excited to bring me here. Like your parents he too died when I was 15 and sometimes I take this cruise to cherish those memories.” We kept on talking for hours and neither of us realized how much time went by. It was only when they announced that the boat will reach it’s destination in 5 minutes that we realized this. Suddenly I realized that I hadn’t asked her about her whereabouts in Paris.

Deepak:”Neha please don’t take this the wrong way but the time I spent with you here is some of the best of my life. I don’t remember ever being so relaxed as I am here alongside you. If you don’t mind then I would love to meet you again and maybe you can show me this beautiful city of yours.” She stayed silent for a few seconds upon hearing that and I noticed how her beautiful face that was glowing almost turned sad and grim.

Neha:”Yes what we shared was a lovely day together but maybe it’s for the best that both of us will remember the day like this in our memories. I’m sorry but I’m afraid I will not prove to be good company for you.”

Deepak:”Why are you saying this Neha? Nothing will make me more happy if you’ll agree to accompany me.”

Neha:”You feel this way now but I’m sure after seeing this you’ll change your mind.” She said that and slowly removed her blanket. One of her legs was wooden. I was shocked upon seeing that. We spent so many hours together, yet I was so mesmerized by her beauty and personality that I had not noticed her legs. Well the fact that they were covered didn’t helped either but still I couldn’t believe what I saw. She gave a sad smile upon seeing my reaction.

Neha:”Don’t worry I can understand how you are feeling and if your thinking that, why didn’t I tell you before? Well maybe I was feeling lonely and didn’t want to lose your company even if I knew it was only for a few hours. By the way please don’t feel sorry for me either. I hope you’ll have a nice time here and take care.” She said that and got up gingerly. The boat arrived and people were getting off now. Finally I got hold of myself.

Deepak:”Neha please don’t go. I’m sorry if my reaction hurt your feelings. It was never my intention to hurt you. As for changing my mind, I asked you out because I really enjoyed your company and if you felt the same way about me then I would love to hang out with you.” Being a lawyer we are groomed to be convincing even when we are bullshitting yet I didn’t have to lie to her. Whatever I said was true. Yes I was shocked upon seeing her with a handicap but that didn’t put me off even for a second. Who am I to judge others on their looks?

Neha:”Look Deepak you don’t have to do that. Trust me I won’t even feel bad. In fact the only way I’ll feel bad is if I’ll slow you down on your vacation. Trust me It’s a great city. Just go out there and enjoy yourself.”

Deepak:”Neha kindly look in my eyes. When I first saw you today I saw one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. After spending time with you I realize that not only are you beautiful but have an amazing personality as well. Please don’t insult me now by doubting my intentions. What you showed me didn’t change my opinion about you in fact if anything now I respect you as well for your courage. Now tell me will you meet me or do you want me to beg for it?” My honest tone and smile finally relaxed her and she smiled again.

Neha:”I would love to.”

Deepak:”Great! So where and when will we meet?”

Neha:”Tomorrow 10am if it’s fine with you and right there.” She said that and pointed her index finger towards the Eiffel tower standing magnificently in the background.

Deepak:”I’ll be there.” We shook hands and exchanged our mobile numbers before getting off the boat together. Her mom came to get her. Neha introduced us. She looked at me suspiciously but I guess I can understand why? She told Neha that they must go now as it was getting late and before leaving gave me a stare. It was as if she was telling me to stay away from her daughter and don’t dare play with her emotions. I don’t know why but she made me think of my mother. How lucky are those people that have their parents with them? Anyway I started going back towards my hotel. It was a big day tomorrow and I didn’t wanted to disappoint Neha by arriving late on our first date. Wait a minute was that it? Was it really a date? I smiled at that thought and said to myself “lets wait and see.”

That night I had the same dream again. In a beautiful city, flowers were blowing in the wind. Right in front of the astonishing Eiffel tower two people were standing holding each other and looking with love at one another. Slowly their heads turn towards me. Only this time it was me and Neha.

The next morning I got up early. Although we were supposed to meet at 10am, I was just way too afraid of being late. I didn’t want her to take it the wrong way. She was already low on confidence and it’s not hard to understand why? Fact is life is cruel for most people. Even those of us who have no shortcomings physically or mentally sometimes give up when faced with the harsh realities of life. Now just imagine being handicapped and then going through the same challenges of life on top of overcoming the physical shortcomings daily. Without sounding like a real cynic the reality of life is that for most people life sucks and then you die. Being a lawyer we meet people like this on a regular basis and no matter how hard pressed some of these people are, making sure that we’ll get our fee upfront is our top priority. So was that it? Am I meeting her just because she’s handicapped? I would like to think that’s not the case. The chemistry I felt between us yesterday was real. I may know about many of the realities of life because of my profession and having faced a few myself but when it comes to love, well you don’t have to look further than the last time I thought I was in love. Speaking of which somehow my mind drifted towards Depika and the offer uncle made me. I would lie if i’d say that it was not very tempting. Even Depika despite her wild side still attracted me. Maybe it was just the case of getting the one who got away. Who knows?

Anyway after taking a shower and dressing myself I set out towards my destination. Just to be on the safe side I got there half an hour early but to my surprise she was already there. It was not hard to see her. First of all it was not really that crowded so early on a working day and secondly, well she will stand out even in a place with thousands of people. Yes she was really that good looking. Upon seeing me her face lit up and she started walking towards me. There was a slight limp when she walked but it wasn’t so bad.

Deepak:”Hi Neha and sorry for making you wait.” I said while shaking her hand warmly.

Neha:”Oh no not at all. In fact you came early. It’s just that I’m a early riser anyway and since I’m free today just came here so early.” I later knew that she worked at her mother’s flower shop.

Deepak:”Well Neha I don’t know about you but I’m starving. Should we go somewhere and have a breakfast first?” She smiled upon hearing that.

Neha:”Yes sure. There a small cafe not far from here.” We started towards it with her leading the way. We were having some small talk between us but nothing special. It didn’t take long for us to reach that cafe. Although small she told me that the food was good. On a side note Paris is full of cafe’s. So if you are ever there and are hungry, chances are that you will not have to go far to find some place to eat. We were having coffee with cake and she was correct. Both the cake and the coffee were out of this world.

Deepak:”So Neha tell me about yourself. As much as you want to. My friends say that I’m a good listener and besides I want to know everything about you.”

Neha:”Not much to tell I guess. I’m just an ordinary girl who happens to be crippled as well.” Once again the same sadness crept up in her voice which I noticed yesterday.

Deepak:”Neha please don’t say this. None of us are perfect and that’s what makes us humans. By the way what makes you think you’re ordinary? Look from my eyes and you’ll see an amazing girl that is truly special. I meant what are your dreams and stuff like that?” That calmed her down.

Neha:”Dreams…….To fall in love and marry that person and of course have kids of my own. I just love kids. That’s it I guess.” Her eyes were shining when she told me this.

Deepak:”So a normal life in simple words.”

Neha:”People who live normal lives like these often don’t realize how lucky they are?” I was taken aback by her reply. She was intelligent as well as being beautiful and her simplicity on top of it makes her irresistible.

Neha:”Anyway enough about me. Tell me about yourself and your dreams?” I started telling her how I want to be successful in life and things like that.

When I finally stopped she asked a simple question, “How can you classify being rich as the height of success?” For once in my life I was speechless. We went to the Eiffel Tower afterwords.

It was simply amazing. The first level of the tower features a circular gallery that gives visitors an overview of the tower’s history and design, as well as an introduction to some of Paris’ most famous sights and monuments. The second level offers noteworthy panoramas of the city, as well as more insight into the tower’s history and construction. The top floor provides breathtaking views of the entire city, as well as top-rate dining. The elevator climb of 18 meters (59 ft.) also allows you to fully appreciate the tower’s elaborate metal latticework. Neha pointed out that the reason she didn’t just take me to the top of the tower for breakfast earlier was because it was just way too expensive.

The amazing structure of that masterpiece that I witnessed along with her charming company is something that I will treasure for the rest of my life. I later walked her to her house. She insisted on me coming in but I said some other day and took a bus close to my hotel. Later that day the events of the day were playing in my head and I was smiling like a love struck fool. I really liked her and there was no question about it but did I like her as a friend or did I really love her? I was busy in asking those questions to myself when my mobile suddenly rang. I smiled to myself as I thought it will be Neha but when I saw the number it surprised me. It was Depika.

Deepak:”Depika? Wasn’t expecting a call from you.”

Depika:”Deepak I guess it’s best if we talk now rather than asking questions when it’s too late. Don’t you agree?”

Deepak:”Yes…I guess.”

Depika:”I know you’ll have questions that you want to ask me. So go ahead and ask any.” I was surprised at how calm her voice was. Since I was not expecting her to call me like that it took me completely by surprise. I stayed silent for a while and then finally mustered the courage to ask her what I always wanted to ask her.

Deepak:”Why are you always ignoring me as if I didn’t even exist Depika? Why? It isn’t as if the losers you kept falling for were good looking, wealthy or superior in anyway to me. Then why? Didn’t you ever noticed that I was in love with you?”

Depika:”I’m not blind Deepak. I always knew you were interested in me and it wasn’t difficult, after seeing your love struck face. Things are not as simple as they seem sometimes though. Do you honestly believe that I was ever interested in any of those morons? Whatever I did it was to get the attention of my daddy dearest and sometimes to hurt him on purpose. He’s the only one I ever loved and the one who I hate the most in the world. As for you, well it always felt like looking at a mirror. You always looked like the even more helpless carbon copy of me. Had I lived a normal life then I might have fallen in love with you but unfortunately that’s not me. I was always looking for men who would use me and make my life and as a result daddy dearest’s life more miserable and you were not that person.” My jaw nearly dropped off after hearing her tell me this in her calm and controlled voice.

Deepak:”What’s the point of messing up your life just to hurt your father? He’s not happy and neither are you so it’s a lose lose situation no matter how you look at it.”

Depika:”Not everything makes sense and they don’t have to either. As hard as it is to understand the fact is some people enjoy being miserable and even seeing their loved ones suffer.”

Deepak:”What about us Depika? Your father wants me to marry you. What about you? What do you want?”

Depika:”Did I ask you for marriage or to save me? I can’t control or change the way my father feels though. Yet for once in his life he’s not forcing you to do anything. Just decline his offer if you are not interested.”

Deepak:”Let’s say that if we do get married. What kind of a relationship will we have? Whatever you have done in the past is history now. Can you be faithful to me and maybe start loving me in time?”

Depika:”Look lets get one thing clear, I’m not looking for my knight in shining armor. I’m not looking forward to my prince charming coming along to rescue me. The fact is I am who I am. What’s the point of making promises which I might not be able to keep? Deepak accept his offer only if you really want to take his position. Yet don’t be surprised if I develop a love hate relationship with you. Yes I might start loving you with time but then again who knows? Anyway listen I have to go now but if you have more questions then ring me after an hour. Just remember one thing, I can answer your questions but I can’t ease your doubts. In the end you’ll have to take this decision on your own. Bye for now.” She said that and the line went dead but I was left standing in the middle of the room more confused and shocked than I had ever been in my life.

For once in my life I felt totally clueless. While I couldn’t help admiring Depika’s honesty the fact is she raised more questions for me to ask myself rather than the answers she gave me. Good things take time to happen but great things happen in life all of a sudden. Still not everyone gets those chances in life and even those who are lucky enough to get them must take advantage of them because those opportunities are rare. If I want to fulfill my dream of having one of the biggest law firms in the country then it was now or never. If I wanted to get the girl that I was madly in love(lust?) with then it was now or never. Many people will think of Depika as a slut knowing the things I knew about her but then what about the men that go through their lives like Casanovas? What about those married men that screw everything that moves apart from their wives? Was she any worse than them? Besides at least she was honest. Can we say the same things about the others? Being a lawyer I have seen my share of scumbags and I’m not even talking about the criminals that pay us to prove them respected citizens of society. Someone famously said that “Show me a lawyer and I’ll show you a man that screws his wife, secretary and clients.” Things would have been real simple for me if it wasn’t for Neha. How can I describe the feelings that I have developed for her? It might not have the intensity that I once felt for Depika yet it didn’t have any greed in it either. Is this what real love is? None of us have confessed any such feelings for the other until now but then again not everything needs to be said. I could feel the love in the way she looked at me, the way she talked and her dazzling smile that went straight through my heart like a warm knife goes through butter. Those who try to ride 2 ships at the same time always sink in the end. I had to chose between one of them and then stick with my decision.

I couldn’t really sleep that night. All night long I kept on thinking about the offer I got from my uncle, the phone call from Depika but above all Neha. What was it about her that was kept on attracting me towards her? It’s hard to pinpoint just one thing I guess. Everything from the way she looked, talked and smelled was spellbinding. Finally around 7:00 am I gave up trying to sleep and after getting dressed casually, went outside the hotel to catch some fresh air. Slowly I started walking and in my head was trying to figure out the riddle of my life. What a beautiful morning it was. Everywhere I looked there were beautiful flowers, birds were singing and in the wind that was blowing I could smell the fragrance of different flowers. Even that early in the morning many people were out jogging, exercising or simply sitting on benches or grass reading papers, eating breakfast and one or two even kissing. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts and enjoying the views that I didn’t realize when I reached Neha’s home. How I unintentionally went to her home surprised me. She lived with her mother in a small one bedroom apartment and downstairs they had their flower shop. They were busy arranging the flowers when she saw me and her face lit up. I went inside the shop and greeted her. This time around her mother didn’t give me any hostile looks and talked with me gently. Neha asked her if she could take a few hours off. Her mother told her to take the day off instead and also invited me to lunch. Neha must have told her about me which brought this change of heart I guess. We bought sandwiches from a shop and she took me to a park. A few minutes later we were sitting under a tree and enjoying each others company and making small talk. That’s when I surprised her and even myself…..

Deepak:”Neha I can’t help thinking about you all the time. I know we just met but all I want to do is spend as much time as possible with you”. She smiled on hearing that.

Neha:”I feel the same way.” Her face was blushing when she said that. I touched her face with my hand gently and she looked passionately into my eyes. I slowly moved towards her and kissed her on the lips. She was surprised but responded by kissing me back. That was the first time I kissed someone. Our lips were locked, arms around each other and finally all the worries went out of my head. I was enjoying the moment and hoped it would last forever. Will this be the start of something special? Only time will tell.

We spent the next few hours walking in the park while holding hands. I remember that we didn’t talk much but our eyes were talking to one another. Both of us were enjoying those moments so much that neither of us wanted words to spoil them. After a few hours we went back to her home as her mother invited me to lunch. Her name was Poja. She was a tall woman with a slender body and even at this age was good looking. Yet the wrinkles that were on her face and her sad eyes told another story. She looked like someone who had faced many difficulties in her life. Their apartment was small yet pleasantly decorated. I was starving by now and thankfully the food was delicious. It had been a while since I had eaten home made food. After we finished the food her aunt told Neha that she had ordered a cake from the nearby pastry shop. She asked her if she could go get it since she was a little tired. I got up to go with Neha but her mom stopped me by saying that the shop is not far away and Neha can go get it herself. Neha smiled at me upon hearing this and with her eyes told me to stay there. Once she was gone her mom started talking in a serious tone.

Poja:”Deepak after talking with you I can see that your from a good family. If you don’t mind there are a few things I would like to ask you”.

Deepak:”Of course, please go ahead and ask any questions you want to.”

Poja:”Neha really likes you. It’s the first time I have seen her talk about someone the way she talks about you. I’m her mother and can see how she’s falling for you. That is what’s making me worried now.”

Deepak:”Worried? But why?”

Poja:”You will go back in a few days but have you thought about what will happen to her? She was depressed for years since her father passed away. All of a sudden I can see that she has started day dreaming. When dreams shatter then most people gets shattered by them and never fully recover. Please don’t hurt her feelings. Leave her now rather than taking this too far. She will be sad but might get over it but if you make any false promises to her and then never return…….. I don’t even want to think what will she do?”

Deepak:”Don’t worry. I will try my best to not hurt her in anyway and trust me I……” I stopped in mid sentence as the door to the apartment opened and Neha came inside. Half an hour after eating the cake I asked her mother’s permission to take Neha with me for a few hours. She nodded while smiling. I took her to a nearby cafe. Noticing the change of emotions on my face she asked me if something is wrong?

Deepak:”Neha it’s better if I tell you everything about me now. There are things about me that you should know and also someone that I would like you to know about. Her name is Depika.

I kept on talking for what felt like forever and told her everything about her. From my childhood crush to how I saw her having sex with someone to the offer that I got from her father and finally the phone call from yesterday. It wasn’t easy talking about things that I have never shared with anyone before. The fact that now I was telling it to the one I loved made it awkward as well, yet I didn’t hide anything. She kept on listening without asking any questions even when I saw the emotions on her face were changing she kept quiet. Finally I finished talking and now was waiting for her to speak yet she kept quiet.

Deepak:”Neha please say something. I wanted to tell you these things but it wasn’t easy for me either. Please try to understand. We just met a few days ago and I wasn’t sure if it was just attraction or am I really in love with you? Just look at the last time I thought it was love. Can you blame me for being cautious?”

Neha:”What do you want to hear from me Deepak? I can appreciate your honesty but you know what? Sometimes we don’t want to listen to the truth. Let me tell you some truths that I have ignored already. Like when I knew I’m not good enough for you the first time we met yet still I went out with you. Despite knowing that this will not lead to anything I started seeing dreams of a life that we can have together.”

Deepak:”Please Neha don’t be so sad. Everything will workout. I…..I’ll reject that offer.” Even though I said that, it was so unconvincing that even a B-grade actor could have done a better job of delivering that line. She must have noticed my hesitation as well.

Neha:”No Deepak I don’t want you to and not for me anyway. Remember what I told you the first time we met? I’m not looking for sympathies. You can’t live a happy life with someone just because you feel sorry for them. I don’t want to be the one that will come between you and your dreams. Remember when I asked you about your dreams? You didn’t mentioned love, Depika or anything else but just one thing, how you wanted to have a successful law firm of your own. Now you can have it. So what’s stopping you? Opportunities like these don’t come everyday so don’t let it go over some summer fling. Yes that’s what our relationship is, a summer fling and nothing more than that and now if you’ll excuse me I’ll have to go.” I didn’t stop her from going. Even after noticing that she had tears in her eyes when she was going. Rather than stopping her, my mind was thinking about what she just said about my dream. The dream of being successful and running a law firm of my own. Is this who I am? A cold hearted lawyer who can kill his own love to fulfill his dream? How easy it was for me to stop her? Yet I did the difficult thing of standing there and seeing her go with a broken heart. I kept on standing there even when she was long gone.

To say that the night that followed was the most difficult of my life would be an understatement. A part of me was cursing me for hurting an innocent girl like Neha and not stopping the love of my life. It was telling me that even now not all is lost. She loved me and will forgive me for not stopping her today. We can start a new life of our own and we’ll love each other until the time we die. Then there was another part of me which was telling me that to gain something you have to lose something as well. The bigger the dream the bigger the sacrifice will be in order to achieve it. It was telling me that with time I’ll get over Neha when I’ll have my own bungalow, cars, servants looking after all my needs and the biggest law firm in the country. An affair of a few days was looking indeed small when compared to these things and who knows? Maybe Depika will start loving me as well. Maybe she is wrong and in reality she does need a knight to save her? I kept on thinking and analyzing both options. It wasn’t easy but finally I came to a decision.

I’ll marry Depika. It was killing me inside to come to this conclusion yet I realized that I wasn’t strong enough to let go of everything I worked for all my life even if it was for my love. If I thought the hard part was over then I couldn’t have been more wrong. How will I tell this to Neha? What will it do to her? I was feeling like an asshole to do this to her but maybe I was one. A part of me was disgusted because of my decision but then another one was telling me that I was doing the right thing. Sacrifices need to be made in order to move ahead in life. Every dream becomes reality at a price and I was ready to pay for mine.

The next day I rang Neha and told her to meet me. We met at a small restaurant for lunch. Even though as always she was ravishing, I could see in her eyes the pain and sadness. It was as if she knew what I was about to tell her already.

Deepak:”Neha the time I spend with you is without a doubt the best of my life. In just few days I developed such strong feelings for you that whenever you are not with me I’m thinking only about you and looking forward to see you again.”

Neha:”I feel the same way.” She mumbled almost to her self.

Deepak:”Neha that’s why it’s killing me inside to say this to you today. I…..I’m going back and…….” Tears started rolling down my cheeks and my voice broke down. She placed her hand gently on mine. She had tears in her eyes as well but somehow managed to keep them in.

Neha:”You don’t have to say anything more Deepak. I knew about this all along. Somewhere in my mind I knew this would end like this. Rather than feeling sorry for myself I’ll remember all the good times we had and I suggest you do the same. I’m sorry but I’ll have to go now. If I stay then I’ll make a fool of myself by crying like a kid and anyway that’s not the way I want you to remember me. I’ll pray for you everyday and hope you’ll get whatever you want in life.” She kissed me gently on my forehead while holding my face with her hands and then hurried off from the restaurant. A few minutes later 2 plates of untouched food were on the table but no one was there that ordered it.

The next few days went by like I was trapped in a never ending fog of pain and sorrow. Apart from calling Neha once to tell her when I was leaving, neither of us met or even talked on the phone again. Even though I was dying to see her again, the last thing I wanted was to hurt her once again. The best thing about time is that good or bad it never stands still for anyone. So Finally the day came when I was about to leave the city of love. I went to the railway station. The train will drop me off near the airport. I wasn’t surprised to see Neha was waiting for me there. Seeing her once again made me realize how much I was going to miss her? There was just so much I wanted to say to her yet only managed to say a few words with great difficulty.

Deepak:”Thanks for everything Neha. I’ll never forget the time we spend together. Will you remember me?”

Neha:”In order to remember someone you’ll have to forget them first.” She said and then hugged me.

She was not able to control her tears this time. She handed me a small gift and said “I hope you’ll get whatever you want in life Deepak. Take care.” She said that and started going back. I didn’t have the courage to stop her. Once she was out of sight I opened the gift. It was a small replica of the Eiffel tower. It was then that my conscience finally woke up. I could live without the comforts and luxuries of the world that my uncle was offering me but can I live without the love of my life? The train was about to go now. I left my luggage there and started running towards the exit. I had little money left in my pocket and there was no ticket of return now but if that means that the love of my life will be with me, then I’m ready to go on this new journey. Let’s see what life has in store for us? Whatever it will be or however hard tomorrow might be at least we’ll face it together.

The End

Alternative Ending 1

It wasn’t easy but finally I came to a decision. I’ll marry Depika. It was killing me inside to come to this conclusion yet I realized that I wasn’t strong enough to let go of everything I worked for all my life even if it was for my love. If I thought the hard part was over then I couldn’t have been more wrong. How will I tell this to Neha? What will it do to her? I was feeling like an asshole to do this to her but maybe I was one. A part of me was disgusted because of my decision but then another one was telling me that I was doing the right thing. Sacrifices needs to be made in order to move ahead in life. Every dream becomes reality at a price and I was ready to pay for mine.

How will you describe a brave man? You don’t need to take on an armed army all alone in order to prove that you are brave, sometimes it takes a real man to be honest even in the most difficult situations in life. I didn’t havee the guts to tell Neha about my decision. Not only was I selfish but a coward as well. Even as much as I tried it was impossible to avoid Neha. There were still a few days left before my return flight and we kept on seeing each other everyday. I tried to keep my distance but it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t as if only I was in love. I could see the love in her eyes and felt it whenever she talked with me or touched me. I used to cry every night afterwards when I was alone in my room. It was killing me inside thinking about what I was doing with her. I even decided once that the first thing I’ll do as soon as I meet her again is to tell her that I was going back and will never come back again but as soon as I saw her my courage faltered again.