Working Title Guilt Epilogue

Due to popular demand, this is the epilogue in the guilt series which explores incest, fetish, golden showers, humiliation, BDSM and most importantly, the reconciliation of the guilt that the characters felt in coming to terms with their innermost desires. If this is not for you, then please move on. If you are willing to have your boundaries stretched then please move forwards! Special thanks to Georgie H for her encouragement.

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“I don’t think I have ever seen you so excited” Mark said to his lovely wife Julie as they sat by the pool, having left Ann to clean up the bathroom inside. “What was going on in there?”

“You noticed.” Julie said as she toyed with the napkin on the table.

“Just a bit!” Mark said as he smiled and contemplated Julie’s gym fit body and distracted expression.

“It wasn’t just the thrill of trying something different with Ann was it? I mean we have had great sessions before with her son Matt and her daughter Karen and of course our own daughter Helen but there was something else happening in that bathroom wasn’t there? The way you came when I entered her ass so roughly and she squealed. I saw your whole body convulse and shudder as you came”

Julie looked up and smiled at Mark. Her day coat was loosely draped around her shoulders, open at the front exposing her nakedness beneath. Mark sat naked at the table to her right. Sunlight twinkled on the surface of the now quiet water of the pool.

Regaining her composure and confidence, Julie looked at him and said “Yes. It was so much more than the sweet physical sensations. I realize now that I actually loved the way that Ann was sexualizing the pain you were inflicting on her.

I wanted to be you.”

“You wanted to inflict that pain on Ann?” Mark said with a quizzical expression.

“Yes.” Julie paused. Mark waited patiently for her to continue. “I think it was the feeling of total control and power over her. Her eagerness to please. Yes, that really pressed all my buttons.” Another pause. “I think I felt that before but I never really realized what a turn on it was for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was when we first made love as a family. Well perhaps not the first time but when our daughter Helen presented her virgin ass to you and I guided you inside her. I felt overwhelming love but also a little of what I experienced today. It was so intense then with so many mixed emotions running through my mind but today was different. There was no love, just pure and unadulterated sadism.” There, she had said it. She realized that she was admitting to being a sadist for the first time in her life, not only to her husband but to herself.

“Julie,” said Mark “I never took you for a sadist sweetheart. Maybe you should explore it more but if you don’t mind, could you find some one else to explore it with? I am more into pleasure than pain.” He smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Alright I’ll think about it. There must be a number of playthings out there in the big wide world I can experiment with.”

“Well here comes one of them for sure.” Mark said as he looked over to where I was walking out of the house”

“Thank you sweetheart. I knew you’d understand. I think I’ll need some tutoring too.”

“Well I am sure that there’s no shortage of videos on line, or even a Dom or two who can show you the ropes… no pun intended”

Unaware of the conversation taking place, I made my way to the pool where Julie and Mark were sitting. The sun was low in the sky now and the temperature was dropping slowly.

“Ann, sweetheart. All cleaned up?” Julie said as she rose to kiss me on the cheek. I was still naked and I looked over to Mark who was sitting relaxed in the other chair.

“Yes, all cleaned up” I said somewhat demurely, as I took a spare chair on Julie’s left.

“Now Ann” Julie said with an air of schoolmistress authority and a tight smile to match. “Did you have fun?”

“OMG”, I gasped, the words erupting from me like a pressure relief valve going off. “I don’t think I have ever had so much fun. Thank you so much for sharing. Today has been unbelievable. I mean, I can’t believe what happened.

Did Helen, Karen and Matt put you up to this? I mean, they are such schemers. Did they tell you about my fantasies and fetishes? Talking of whom, where are they?”

“The kids have gone to the mall. It’s just the three of us for now.” Mark said as he continued to probe my nakedness with his eyes.

“It was wonderful for us too Ann” Julie said. I’d never experienced golden showers before but I’ll definitely be adding that to my repertoire in the future.

There is something else I want to talk to you about, though.”

I sat there wondering for a moment what was coming next.

Julie leaned forward earnestly her day coat falling open revealing her perfect breasts and nipples “I came really hard today. More than once.” She said. “But I came hardest when I saw you whimper and sexualize the pain you felt when your son entered your ass and when Mark entered you roughly and eventually peed inside you.”

“Oh that” I said turning my gaze away to look at Mark who was idly playing with his stiffening cock.

“Yes that!” Julie said as she grasped my chin and forced me to look her in the eye.

“Julie, I really loved everything that happened today, every bit of it but I need some time to process it.

I mean, it’s quite something to have my son fuck my ass but in front of my daughter and your family was well…” I let the sentence trail off into silence. Julie just looked at me waiting for me to continue.

“And to witness your husband fucking both our daughters and Matt fucking his sister for the first time… I guess the only thing missing was Matt and Mark going for each other!” I looked over to Mark to see his cock had now grown fully erect. Clearly the idea of a little bisexual buggery excited him as much as it did me.

“I’m not talking about that Ann, but by the way, the stable doors have been opened to all of those pleasures now so enjoy, but what I am talking about is how far do you want to go down that slippery slope of masochism? How far are you prepared to travel?”

I looked at Julie as she lent forward earnestly, gazing into my eyes. I had never thought of my fetish as masochistic but there it was out in the open. We were chatting about it as though we were discussing the weather or what to wear to a party.

I had wondered and perhaps feared, where my fantasies and fetishes might end up but had never felt that that there was an end point. Often I found myself disgusted by my feelings or actions after the fact, only to return to them time and time again until the repulsive became normal and fantasies and fetishes more extreme.

For me this was a tipping point. A point of no return. An opportunity to shed my guilt and inhibitions and be the real me. Here was someone that wasn’t going to judge me but was offering me the impossible. The chance to push my boundaries to the absolute limit to help me find myself in a world full of prejudice, judgement and confusion and that meant sexualizing pain and shedding my guilt for ever. This was I realized, possibly the only time in my life I would get the opportunity. “All the way and beyond” I replied.

Mark came and shot his load over the table we were sitting at.

Julie ignored his ejaculation and reached forward and held my hand.

“Think seriously about what you wish for Ann” She said. “Now go and get changed and call me next week to catch up. We can talk about what exactly “all the way and beyond” might look like.”

As I drove back to my house, I felt the familiar feelings of liberation and repulsion. I needed time to come to terms with what had happened.

As I opened the front door Matt and Karen called from the kitchen.

“Well Mom, was that fun or what?!” Karen said as I put my keys on the kitchen table and sat down heavily on my tender backside.

“I…” lost for words, I straightened my dress and just looked up and smiled at them both.

“Mom, you have no idea how long I have wanted to fuck you both. It was awesome wasn’t it Karen?” Said Matt.

“OK, even I have to admit it, yes it was a pretty awesome day” Karen said with a big cheesy grin. “And you even got to do some pee play with Mark and Julie later on I hear?”

“OMG how did you…?”

“Julie told me when I called her to see if you were on your way home”

“Chill out Mom” Matt said. “It’s cool that we have no secrets now. You know a family that plays together stays together”

Karen giggled with delight as they both smiled at me, gave me a kiss on both cheeks and took their sandwiches to the living room leaving me to stare at the wood grain of the kitchen table.

I loved my daughter and son more than words could express and now that our relationship had blossomed to embraced the physical as well emotional my life should have been complete. I realized now though that I needed, more. And the person who was going to deliver that was Julie and I hated myself for it.

I didn’t call Julie that following week, nor the week after and she never called me. The weeks blurred into months and soon Karen and Matt left for Uni and once again I was left alone with my thoughts.

Increasingly, I spent more and more time watching BDSM on line, chatting on adult forums to pathetic would-be Doms and Dominatrix’ who really didn’t have a clue and became fascinated with the electro stimulation machines that the Doms would use to torment their victims in my favorite movies. I discovered that TENS machines were available from my local pharmacy and used to stimulate muscles to relieve chronic pain. I bought the most powerful one after a series of questions from the pharmacist as to what pain I had and where to place the 4 electrodes. (I opted for a sore back which seemed to be the most common complaint but I had no intention of placing these pads anywhere near my spine) I left with my rather expensive purchase under my arm like a thief in the night.

Over time, I found that the best results were to place one pad in my anus and one in my vagina and the other two on my clitoris and peritoneum respectively. Pulling my panties up held everything in place nicely. I could even wear the control unit on my belt so I could move around all day with a gentle contraction playing with me as I went about my daily chores and even in the supermarket doing my shopping. The control unit on my belt gave me intensity settings on a scale of 1-10 and 4 different programs A, B, C, and D. I found program A intensity 1, was good all day whereas program B intensity 3 was like being kicked in the pussy. I liked B3.

Program B was the most rewarding program. It changed between a gentle humming to a rhythmic pulsating and finally an electric kick which was preceded 3 seconds earlier by a soft beep to warn you it was coming.

I remember sitting on the bus one day and a young lad was playing with his phone in front of me. Suddenly it made an identical beep to my early warning and I jumped so violently he looked around to see what was happening even though I wasn’t wearing my TENS at the time! Talk about Pavlov’s Dogs!

My new found TENS machine was getting regular workouts right up to level 5 although 3 was the most I could take with program B; my pussy kicking program as I liked to call it.

It was after a particularly intense session one evening that I decided I was ready to pay a call on Julie the next day.

I spent some considerable time making myself presentable and decided not to call ahead. I wasn’t expecting a session but more a re-acquaintance to let her know I was ready. It had been a while since our last meeting but I wanted to look my best, hoping to melt her heart.

My own heart was racing as I walked up the garden path to the front door and rang the bell. A diminutive woman in her early 40’s dressed in a pinafore and dish washing gloves opened the door taking me by surprise.

“Oh I was expecting Julie, Who are you? I mean, Mrs Glover. Is she in?”

“I’m afraid not, I’m Samantha. Sam. I clean house for Mr and Mrs Glover twice a week. Who are you?”

“I’m Ann, just a friend.” I said

“Karen and Matt’s mom?”

“Yes, do you know them?”

“No, but Mrs Glover has said for months now that you might come by and if you did I was to give you something.”

Sam turned away and rummaged in a drawer in the hall table and brought out a large cast iron key. She held it up before her like a trophy.

“What’s that for?” I said.

“Come with me” she said handing the heavy key to me.

“It opens the cellar door. You are to go inside and come out when you are ready.”

I made my way down the narrow stairs to the heavy door and turned the key.

The lights came on as I stepped into the room which had been decked out like a medieval dungeon.

The door closed loudly behind me with a bang. I was alone in my pristine summer dress, clean and made up to the nines in a room designed to exploit the filth of my mind. I suppressed my immediate flight response and I let my curiosity take over. I let myself begin to explore the room.

My delicate, manicured nails stroked the leather straps on the exercise horse. I let them trail over the cold and dark cast iron shackles. I leaned forward and smelt the sweet saddle soap on the sybian machine looking around for the attachments which would slot in the recess and inside me.

There was a gurney with stirrups similar to the one that my gynaecologist had in her rooms and on the bench a range of instruments and catheters.

At this point I noticed a large TENS machine on a separate wheeled trolley. Clearly it was designed to be mobile enough to be used anywhere in Julie’s dungeon. It had a range of metal inserts with it, clearly designed to be connected to the alligator clips on the ends of the leads – so much more practical than my pads I thought.

Against the wall was a large wooden cross that I had seen in practically every BDSM video I had ever watched on line. Leather cuffs for wrists, waist and ankles were hanging there beckoning me to try them for size. I stepped up and spread my arms and legs against them facing the cross. They were perfectly positioned for my height. I must have looked particularly odd in my summer dress and heels my face pressed against the coarse wood breathing heavily as I imagined Julie sadistically taking me to the brink and back again until at last she would give me the relief I craved for.

I struggled to control my breathing as I realized just how wet I was getting. My warm breath blowing back into my face dampening my cheek. I felt my pussy pressing involuntarily against the buckle of the waist belt as it hung loosely from the intersection of the cross. I was close to cumming but stepped away from the cross.

My heart was racing. I glanced around the room then fled to the door, almost pulling if its hinges as I snatched it open.

I raced up the stairs and almost bowled little Sam over as I made for the front door and the sanctum of my car.

Driving home the phone rang. I glanced at the number. It was Julie’s. I directed the call to my message bank and pressed down hard on the accelerator. I was running away and didn’t want to talk to anyone.

The home ‘phone was ringing as I entered my house. I looked at it suspiciously, no idea who was calling. Could it be my daughter or son calling from Uni or was Julie trying my home number? I let it go to message bank.

“So Ann, I saw you liked my little playroom” Julie said with a note of cruelty in her voice. “In case you were wondering, it has yet to be christened. I thought of trying it out with Helen but then she never did like pain as much as you.

Call me when you get this message. On second thoughts pick up. You must be home by now.”

I stared at the phone and listened to Julie’s breathing. I snatched the hand piece from the cradle and held it to my ear.

“Ah Ann,” Julie’s voice sounded silken smooth. “You still have my key, don’t you?”

I didn’t realize that I had taken it until I got home and saw it on the passenger seat of the car.

“Yes” was my only reply.

“I watched you.” she said. I let out an involuntary gasp. I hadn’t noticed any cameras but clearly this was all part of the game for her.

“You liked my toys didn’t you? I loved to see the way you humped my cross. Did you cum you naughty slut?”

“No.”

“Did you want to?”

“Yes.”

“Then you had better get back here now. You have violated the trust of your family. You have fucked your son and your daughter and need to be punished.”

I knew we were role playing but part of me didn’t want to stop. She had fallen into her role of a Dominatrix and I was her absolute submissive.

“Come now. Don’t get changed. Don’t get washed and don’t touch your filthy pussy”

The line went dead. I knew instantly that I was going to obey but kept telling myself to stay put. It didn’t work. I went to the sink and downed a huge glass of water to calm my nerves.

Julie’s front door opened as I approached it and Sam stepped to once side revealing Julie in her black patent leather corset. My mistress; my queen.

She held out her hand for my papal kiss. I knelt down and lowered my head to kiss her hand.

“Sam. Collar.” She said at which point little Sam passed her a dog collar which she tightened around my neck. I knew what this meant. I was giving myself to her. I was now her property to do with as she liked. I would speak when spoken to and not before. I was there to serve, to give her pleasure. I knew to address her as Mistress whenever I was collared.

“Open the dungeon door and take off that ridiculous dress. I want you naked.” she said. I stepped inside the dungeon and pulled my dress over my head and handed it to Sam who threw it in the corner.

I wasn’t wearing panties or a bra. I stood there naked with my hands over my cleanly shaven increasingly wet pussy.

Julie strutted around me with a riding crop in her hand which she used to move my hands to my sides and tapped the leather paddle on the end of the crop against my dripping pussy. Now wet, she slid it up to my now fully erect clitoris and up further, smearing my juices over my sensitive nipples.

“Mmm what a wet little slave girl you are!” she said “Do you see Sam?

“Perfect” Sam said from the shadows.

“Sam agreed to assist today.”

“Oh we are definitely going to have fun with this one” Said Sam.

I noticed that Sam wasn’t calling Julie by her first name or Mistress and wasn’t wearing a collar.

I started to feel a sense of panic as I realized that this diminutive Sam was herself a Mistress’ apprentice.

Julie must have seen the confusion on my face.

“Sam is a nurse Ann. We met in a BDSM chat room and as luck would have it she lives close by. Don’t worry she knows what she is doing.

Sam reached up and placed a ball gag like the ones I had seen in many BDSM videos, in my mouth tightening the strap behind my head.

“Get on the gurney and put your legs in the stirrups.” said Julie as Sam tugged on the leash that had been attached to my collar and I dutifully followed her.

Once in position with my legs tightly strapped to the stirrups I realized that the water I had drunk earlier was now putting pressure on my bladder but decided that I could probably hold on for a while.

“Now this will feel a little cold to begin with” Sam said as Julie settled down on her throne. She hooked one leg over the arm of the chair spreading her gorgeous wet pussy wide for me to see.

“It’s just a little smearing of lignocaine” Sam said as she pushed a small balloon catheter into my urethra. She inflated the balloon inside my bladder making sure that the catheter wouldn’t fall out and then inserted the other end which had a tap on it into a plastic bag. The tap allowed her to control my pee or prevent it altogether.

Suddenly I felt the need to pee and saw the tube fill uncontrollably but stop at the tap before entering the bag. It did little to relieve the building pressure.