Pester Quest

“For the last time, Rabb, I’m not interested in men,” Shai admonished. She followed that with an exasperated sigh that gave every indication she knew more begging would follow. “You’re sweet, really, and I think you’re a great friend, but that’s all you’re ever going to be to me.” She had her arms crossed now, which did nothing but accentuate her ample bust. Her long black hair was tied back in a messy ponytail. Apparently, she had been cleaning when Rabb had come calling. She did not sound as pleased as he had hoped she would have been.

“But Shai,” Rabb began, before she cut him off with a raised hand. He shut his mouth, pouting.

“I appreciate the gesture, I do,” Shai said, motioning to the abundance of flowers and candies that were arrayed outside of the door to her apartment. “But Rabb, get it through your head. I’m a lesbian.”

“So, what I’m hearing is I’m perfect except for the whole having a dick problem, yeah?” Rabb rallied, standing a bit straighter. At his full height he was still shorter than Shai, but he wasn’t about to let something like a handful of millimeters stand between him and true love. He ran a hand through his short brown hair and tried on what he thought was his most winning smile. “If I can fix that, you’ll go out with me?”

“Yeah, Rabb, that’s exactly it,” Shai said, rolling her eyes. “It’s your dick.” She looked over her shoulder and back into her apartment. “Look, Rabb, I’ve got to get back to cleaning. My mother is coming into town tomorrow, and I don’t want to hear anything about anything.”

Rabb gave her a quick thumbs up. “No problem, Shai.”

And with that he went bounding off down the hallway. He slid down the handrail of the staircase that led to the ground floor of the inn Shai called home. Somewhere behind him he thought he heard Shai shout something about “these damn flowers” but he was too focused on his newest mission: becoming the woman of Shai’s dreams.

Outside the Merry Hart Inn, Rabb nearly ran bodily into his friend Mala. As it was, he skidded to a halt, dust rising from under his boots and billowing into the air around them. Both succumbed to a coughing fit that turned into a laughing fit that turned into comfortable silence. Mala looked up at Rabb, smiling despite the cloud of dirt, and placed a hand on his upper arm.

“How’d she like the flowers and stuff? Did it work?”

Rabb sighed, looking defeated. “Not as such, but it did give me an avenue to a different kind of success.” He grinned down at Mala, a mischievous twinkle in his hazel eyes.

“What is it? What did she say?” Mala asked, excited for her friend.

“Basically, the problem is all this meat I’m packing around,” Rabb said, laughing.

Mala cocked her head to the side, confused, her short blonde hair framing her face. “Meat? What meat, Rabb?”

Rabb patted his crotch, winking. “If I get rid of this bad boy, Shai said she’d go out with me no problem.”

“Get rid of…Rabb? No! You can’t be serious!” Mala sounded horrified at the prospect.

“What? Oh, no, I’m not gonna, like, chop it off or nothin’,” Rabb said, trying to reassure her. “I was thinking maybe we find a wizard, get them to turn me into a lady!”

“Rabb,” Mala said, sounding completely uncertain of the plan, “I’m not sure that’s such a promising idea. Wizards aren’t usually known to help the little folk like us. They’re more for the, y’know, right hands of the high and mighty.” She pointed up and past the hill out of town, atop which sat the local castle. “The duke? Sure, he’s got a wizard for all kinds of stuff, but us normals?” Mala shook her head. “It just isn’t done.”

“We’ll just see about that, won’t we?” Rabb said, grinning at Mala. “I’m sure once he hears all about my plight, I’ll be sporting some killer tits in no time!”

Mala shook her head, but bit her tongue all the same, following behind Rabb as he took off at a light jog toward the castle on the hill. He was as good to look at from the back as he was from the front, she thought, admiring the way his ass filled out his trousers. If only he could know how much she loved him, how much she wanted him, how many nights she lay awake just thinking about him, maybe he wouldn’t be so eager to go off and get blown up by an annoyed mage. As it was, she kept it all to herself, and did her best to keep Rabb’s pace up the steep incline.

 

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“I just don’t get it,” Rabb sighed, taking a swig from his flagon of ale. They had returned to the town proper, tails between their legs, and had taken to drinking at the tavern in the Merry Hart. “I thought wizards were all about helping knights errant on quests.”

“Well Rabb, you’re not that much of a knight, are you?” Mala pointed out, resting a soft hand atop his own. “And look, they didn’t beat you that badly, right?”

“I know, I know,” Rabb said, draining the rest of his drink in a series of large gulps. He belched loudly, setting his flagon down on the table between them and sighed again. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do, Mala. This plan was perfect.”

Mala looked unsure of that but didn’t say anything to the contrary. “Well, what about the old witchwoman? The one in the woods outside of town? Maybe she might know some way to, I don’t know, fix your problem?”

Rabb perked up at this, a thoughtful look playing across his face. “The witch. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“I’m sure you would have, Rabb,” Mala said, encouragingly. “You’ve just got a lot on your mind right now. I know how focused you can get when you think you’ve got the answer to some problem or other.”

“I wonder, though. Witches are more, what, potion-y than wizards are. I was hoping to get a zap from a wand more than drinking mashed up newt eyes for a fortnight or whatever,” Rabb said, looking unsure.

“I’m sure it isn’t as bad as all that,” Mala said, flagging down a passing waitress. “Another two ales, please.” She turned back to Rabb. “We just need to fill you with a little more courage and you’ll be good to go!”

Rabb smiled at her and patted the hand that was still resting on his own. “You’re such a good friend, Mala.”

She winced at that on the inside. It was such a sore spot. But he was so focused on this, so determined, and she loved him. She would do whatever it took to make him happy, even if it meant he wouldn’t be with her. “You just drink up, Rabb, and we’ll head out into the wilds.” She took a deep drink from her own flagon, emptying it out before the refills came around. Maybe if she had a few more of these it wouldn’t hurt as much to hear him go on about Shai. Maybe.

 

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It was late afternoon by the time they drunkenly made their way into the woods outside of town. Mala had the foresight to bring along some camping gear in a pack she wore over her back. Rabb had been impatient, but he’d also had to piss like a horse from all the ale, so he’d obliged Mala getting prepared in exchange for using her outhouse.

The path was easy enough to find, marked as it was with the worst collection of windchimes either of them had ever seen. Skulls of small woodland creatures hung from a pair of withered old oaks. Whether they had died of natural causes or not was less important to Mala and Rabb than the chill that ran up their spines at the sound of their clattering together in the light breeze that ran through the trees. The skulls rattled and clacked together, swaying from their branches. It was portentous, for sure, but what it spoke of neither was quite certain.

Despite it being early summer, the woods themselves were cool and dry, the high canopy having blocked out most of the brutal heat beating down from the sun above. Though there were plenty of hours of sunlight left in the day, there was a gloom to this place that felt out of sorts. It was as though something, or someone, had cast a glamor over the whole area. Mala was sure it was the work of the witchwoman and said so.

“May be,” Rabb agreed, before shouting in alarm. He danced around frantically, swiping at his face and body. “Spiders! Get them off me!”

Mala did her best to help knock away the few black bodies crawling over Rabb’s back. It seemed that he’d mostly just gotten into the webbing, and she held back laughter at his panic. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” she said calmingly, patting him on the arm. “I got the worst of them off you.”

“Gods I hate spiders,” Rabb said, shaking. He flicked his wrists as though he could shake off the webs that wrapped around his hands. “Gods, gods, gods, I hate spiders.”

He looked around more carefully and picked out a path that took them through less arachnid-y territory. It wasn’t much longer from then that they came across an old, lopsided cabin in a small clearing.

“This has to be it,” Mala said, taking off her pack and setting it on the ground. She began to go through it while Rabb made his way toward the low building.

“Well, if this is it, I’m going to see if she’s home,” he said, and crossed the clearing in a hurry, deaf to Mala calling after him. He was on the porch in moments, the boards under his feet creaking uncertainly. A few more steps brought him to the front door where he knocked unceremoniously. The knocking echoed through the house and the clearing both. Rabb was determined not to be afraid, though his knees were awfully close to shaking. The spiders had thrown him off his game, and he was starting to have second thoughts about the whole affair. And then, the door opened.

Standing in the doorway was a shrunken old woman, half Rabb’s height from the way she stooped over, cane in one wizened hand for support. “Who is that calls on Blind Aggie?”

“Rabb’s my name, ma’am,” he said, bowing low. He’d learned not to be so cocky after the beating the guards had given him when they had approached the castle gates. “I’m here to beg a favor.”

“A favor, is it?” Blind Aggie said, looking him over. Her eyes ran across every millimeter of his body, taking him in. “Yes, I think you’ll do. Come in, boy.”

Rabb turned to Mala and gave her a double thumbs up before turning and following the old crone into her dusty cabin. The inside looked to be in just as much disrepair as the outside. Everything had a slight lean to it, making it hard for Rabb to stand up straight. And the smell. It was like if old books had died in a root cellar and had then gone on to die a few more times for good measure. But it was a sweet kind of rot, nothing to make him gag. He turned from his gawking at the state of the place, put on a brave face, and cleared his throat. His face fell when he looked to the witch, who had begun to disrobe.

“M-ma’am?” he managed feebly.

“Shut up and get over here, cocksman. It’s been an age since someone fit came calling.” She reclined on her quilt covered bed, slapping at her overgrown, grey-haired crotch. “Fuck me good enough, and we’ll see about that favor, loverboy.”

Rabb uttered up a silent prayer as he undid his belt. He couldn’t stop now, not when he was so close to getting the help he needed to get in good with Shai. But try as he might, he couldn’t get hard. The sight of Blind Aggie’s withered body was too much, and his cock refused to cooperate. He was tugging at his dick as best he could, but nothing. Nada. Zip.

Blind Aggie sighed and sat up, her sagging tits slapping her stomach. “Oh, for goodness’ sake,” she muttered. She reached around on her bedside table and fished out a small black bottle. “Drink this.”

“What is it?” Rabb asked, wary.

“It’s good for ya, is what it is,” she replied. “Now hurry up and get to work.” She lay on her back, a hand busily working her cunt, getting it ready for him.

Rabb had second, third, even fourth thoughts, but the main thought he had was of Shai. Shai with her long, beautiful hair. How it must run down her back so lovely, how it must flow over her beautiful, milk-white breasts. He chugged the foul-tasting liquid and all at once he felt warm all over. Thoughts of Shai became clearer, almost like she was appearing before him instead of this haggard old witch. He could imagine, if he tried hard enough, to see her cream-colored thighs spread before him. He felt his cock stiffening and soon it stood to throbbing attention. He wasn’t with some dusty crone, but with young, beautiful Shai.

He fell to his knees and buried his face in her lap, nuzzling the hair of her mound with his nose. Sweet perfume rose from her cunt, and he spread it open with his fingers, his tongue seeking out the source of it. She tasted like honey, and it flowed over his lips and tongue, ambrosia to a man dying of thirst in a desert. His tongue went to work, lapping at her labia and twirling about her clit. Shai’s moans of pleasure were loud and encouraging and he did his best for her, sucking at her clit, his tongue whirling about the stiff button.

He slid his index and middle fingers into Shai’s tight cunt, feeling her abundant wetness. He began to pump his hand slowly, relishing in feeling her tighten around his fingers. His tongue didn’t stop, flicking and teasing her clit, as his hand began moving faster, more determined, seeking out deeper places within his lover. He kept up the pressure with his tongue, firm and ever-present, unrelenting. It wasn’t a few moments later that a gush of honey ran over his fingers and tongue, and he smiled to himself in triumph, hearing Shai gasp and moan. When her orgasm had subsided, he stood up, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

Something about Shai looked odd. Glitterier, more gold, but he wasn’t about to let that stop him. Climbing up on the bed, he parted her beautiful firm thighs and held her legs in the air, taking her just under the knees. Like this he spread her open and with a practiced stroke he sank his cock into her cunt in one smooth motion. She was already so wet from his earlier work there was nothing like resistance. Just her smooth cunt clasping his throbbing member, spasming and milking it for all it was worth.

At the first sensation it was almost too much, and he very nearly came when he felt the warm, slick embrace. As it was, he held his breath until the overwhelming feeling had passed and he began to move his hips in earnest. With each stroke he pulled back until just the purple head of his cock was inside her, and then he would swing forward, burying himself to the hilt, his balls resting on her firm ass. Again, and again, he pumped into her, relishing the sound of their skin slapping against each other.

Leaning down, he took a perfect, pink nipple in his mouth, sucking on it like a starving baby. Shai moaned beneath him, her hips wrapping about his waist, pulling him more deeply into her. Her breath came in gasps, and her eyes rolled into her head as he sped up the pace, his cock digging into her cunt, his teeth biting into her breast. It wasn’t long again at all that he felt her tighten around his shaft and a low, guttural moan came from her mouth. This was just too much, the sounds of her pleasure, the smell of her body, the feeling of her cunt spasming around him, and with a low moan of his own he buried himself inside her, his cum shooting out of him like fire, his balls contracting from the effort.

With a groan he pulled out and fell beside her, nestling his nose into her raven black hair. And there he stayed, an arm across her body, slick with sweat, slipping into a light doze.

“Get up, will you? I can’t move.” Blind Aggie said, snapping him back from his brief reverie.

He opened his eyes and saw her wrinkled face, her long white hair, her hoary grey-blue eyes, and it was all he could do not to scream. “Wh-where is-” he stuttered, his eyes wide.

“Where is who? Oh. Oh! The potion.” Blind Aggie sat up with a groan, her back cracking from the effort. “It makes you see who you fancy, get’s the old tackle working like a charm.”

“You drugged me!” Rabb said, sounding offended.

“Oh please, I’m a witch. All I do is drug people,” Blind Aggie laughed. It sounded much more youthful than her aged body would suggest was possible. “Besides, you got yours, I got mine, win win, eh?”

“I…I suppose,” Rabb admitted, sitting upright himself. “But my favor, I never even told you what I wanted.”

“Had to check the machinery before I went and wasted myself on some fool boy come calling,” Blind Aggie said, pulling her hair up into a messy bun. “What was it then? A potion of good fortune? Some poison for a rival?” She grinned wickedly. “Maybe another dose of what you just had?”

“No, no! I mean, nothing like that, no. I was wondering,” Rabb cleared his throat. “Do you have something that can make me, like, not me?”

“Not you? I can make you a frog if that’s what you’d like. Or give you a horse cock if you’re into that sort of thing?”

“No, I, well, I want to be a woman.”

“A woman!” She laughed again. “That’s easy enough. I have just the brew for you.” And she was up and dressed in a flash, hobbling over into a back room. There was the sound of bottles being rattled about for a few moments and then she reappeared as quickly as she had gone. “Here you are, one dose of GenderFluid.”

“And this will make me a woman?” Rabb eyed it suspiciously, holding out his hand.

“As lovely as I ever was,” Blind Aggie replied, placing the red glass vial in his open palm. “Drink this up and you’ll get sorted, alright. Just make sure you don’t do it on an empty stomach.”

“I don’t know what to say. I mean, what do I owe you?”

“Owe me? Dear cocksman, you’ve more than paid for a little dram of this. Not often a young man lets me finish first. And twice at that,” Blind Aggie said, smiling at him not unkindly.

“Well, I don’t know what to say,” Rabb said, blushing.

“‘Thank you, miss,’ I believe is the custom,” Blind Aggie said, grinning toothlessly at him.

“Thank you, miss. A thousand times thank you,” Rabb said, standing and pulling on his pants. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Yes yes,” she said, clapping him on the back. “Now if you don’t mind, get the hell out, yeah?”

Rabb laughed and darted for the door. When he got there, he turned to say something, but Blind Aggie was gone. What lights had been illuminating the small room were out, and there was a deep feeling of emptiness to the whole place. Frowning, he turned about and left the small cabin. Outside the clearing was bathed in bright morning light. At the outskirts was Mala’s tent, with Mala outside of it, looking nervous. She immediately burst into a smile when she saw Rabb come out and ran to him.

“Well? Well? Did it work? What did she say?” She recoiled a bit as she caught smell of him. “What did she do to you?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Rabb said with an embarrassed cough. “What matters is I’ve got this!” And he held up the red vial, letting it twinkle in the daylight.

“What is it?” Mala asked, curious.

“She called it GenderFluid, said it’d make me a woman.”

“Well, what are we waiting for? Drink up!”

Rabb laughed and kissed Mala atop her head, causing the woman to blush a vibrant red. He missed all of that as he uncapped the vial and swallowed the bitter draught in one go.

“I guess now we wait,” Rabb said, spitting onto the ground. It had really tasted quite awful. “What is it?” he asked, noticing Mala’s new, horrified expression.

“Rabb, you’re old!” She cried out, covering her mouth with her hands. “Oh, my gods, you’re an old woman!”

“What?!” Rabb shouted, his hands going immediately to his face. He hadn’t felt anything change, but as he ran his fingers over his skin, he felt the wrinkles. He pulled at his hair, and saw it to be long now, and white, not unlike Blind Aggie’s. “Gods, do you have a mirror?” Rabb asked, his voice hushed.

Mala ran to her makeshift campsite and fished around in her pack a moment before running back to him and holding up the looking glass. Rabb took it all in and couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He was the spitting image of the old crone, from the top of her head to her sagging tits to her crooked, long nose.