The River

Hello. I can’t remember if I uploaded this last time or not before going scorched earth. Anyway, what I do remember is I was trying something a little different with this one. Whether it worked or not, I’ll leave it up to you to decide. Otherwise, hope you enjoy the story.

Just a warning that this have a small scene mentioning an attempted suicide. Just in case people don’t like stories that deal with such things.

*****

There’s a couple of lines in the movie ‘Lethal Weapon’ that rings true regarding my life on this very day. Murtaugh tells Riggs, “God hates me. That’s what it is.” Riggs just looks back at him, breathing smoke out his nose, and replies “Hate him back; it works for me.” I don’t know if there is a God. I’ve never been particularly religious, finding those sort of classes at school rather dull. But if he does exist, as I like to think there is something out there far beyond our understanding, then the big guy can go fuck himself regarding what he planned for me.

The sky above matched my mood. My heart and mind were a swirl of emotions. Mostly grief mixed with a whole load of anger. The clouds were low and dark grey. The rain was incessant and there was a rumble of thunder in the distance, almost drowning out the voice of the celebrant. I barely listened anyway, my eyes only focused on the coffin in front of me. The only thing that mattered was that she was gone. Taken from me in an instant.

I met Jessica while spending two years travelling around Europe. We met in Berlin, not a particularly strange place for an Australian man and English girl to meet, considering it was popular on the backpacker trail. I still have no idea what drew her towards me. We met in one of the thousands of bars in the city, somewhere in the old East Berlin, once behind that famous old wall, only a small section still standing. I was on a pub crawl with a group of people I’d met in one of the city’s numerous hostels. She was in town with a couple of girlfriends, escaping university for a weekend. All I know is that we hit if off immediately after I’d bought her a drink and introduced myself. The friends I’d made were quickly abandoned, while her friends disappeared off to some dance club. She let them go, wanting to stay with me.

We drank and talked until early the next morning, staying in the same bar until it closed before we walked the streets of Berlin hand in hand, eventually wandering through the Tiergarten as the sun started to rise. I think I knew her entire life story by the time we arrived at her hotel. She was definitely smart. Witty. And had a rather dark if crude sense of humour, which had me roaring with laughter at times. Add to that she was a brunette bombshell, milk chocolate brown eyes, with a bust that couldn’t be ignored and curves that would drive any man insane, I was instantly smitten. Scratch that. It was love at first sight. When she invited me upstairs, I didn’t say no. We fell asleep straight away, though made love as soon as we woke up.

I wondered if it was only a one-time thing, though after a very late breakfast, she asked what my plans were. I said I was in town for another couple of days before moving on. She wondered if I’d like to spend the day with her. I tried not to appear too eager when I said yes. By the end of the day, I was definitely falling in love with her. And I spent the night with her again. Our second night together, we made love all night.

She had to return home the next day. She gave me her phone number and email address. This was before the colossal rise of social media, so there was no Facebook yet. I think MySpace was around, but I didn’t use it. She asked me to keep in contact, and that she’d like to see me again soon. I said I only had a couple of other places I’d like to visit, then I would be heading to the UK anyway.

We messaged and emailed constantly over the next month. She was attending university in Bristol, and asked where I would be heading once I was in the UK. I said I didn’t know, the obvious choice being London as that’s where all Antipodeans ended up. She wondered if I wanted to head to Bristol instead. She went even further than that, asking if I would want to move in with her.

I thought it was rather quick, but she knew I would need a place to stay. I had plenty of money that I’d saved back home before my trip, but a lot of that had disappeared, though I had a visa that would allow me to work. So I took up her offer, moved in with her, a sharehouse with three other people, and quickly found a job behind the bar in one of the many pubs that made up the city centre.

We lived frugally, both of us living the university life, but our life together was a lot of fun, though she also worked bloody hard to get her degree at the same time. She graduated at the end of that year and we married no more than six months later, at the age of only 21. That allowed me to obtain a spousal visa and we immediately started to look for full-time jobs and a place to live.

We owned our own place by the age of 25, though a lot of thanks had to go to her parents. But we had full time jobs, both reasonably well paid, and at least one new-ish car in the driveway. We often spoke about starting a family, but wanted to be smart, and at least financially secure enough so that we could afford her time off for maternity leave. But we were desperate to try, and certainly had a lot of practice. To say our sex life was mutually fulfilling would be a vast understatement.

Jessica announced she was pregnant when we were both 27, me being only a couple of months older. I was living the dream. A wonderful home. A beautiful wife. A job I actually enjoyed. We had money to spare. And now she was having my child.

My wife worked as a nurse. Long, gruelling days and nights on her feet. She loved her job too, though she was often left tired and stressed, the NHS straining at the seams, but she never complained, at least not to me, leaving all her worries about work at the door. I learned and became relatively adept at giving foot massages, knowing they often led to massaging other things. Jessica always knew, and was always happy to carry on in the bedroom, if she wasn’t too tired. We would lie back afterwards, and discuss our plans for the future, a name for the baby, names for other potential babies afterwards, what colour we’d paint the walls of the nursery.

Jessica was seven months pregnant at the time a drunk driver ended the dream. He was speeding and hit my wife’s driver’s side door at undiminished speed, having run a red light. Paramedics arrived within minutes, but she was already dead by the time I received the knock at our front door.

I have no problem admitting I fell apart immediately.

Friends and her family rallied around, helping me organise the funeral and everything else. I barely remember much of those days. I was pretty much a zombie. I know my family back in Australia couldn’t make it over. Dad was far too busy with the farm to make it, and I understood why. My sister was in the middle of marriage difficulties, and though I think she would have liked to come over, she called and we spoke for a couple of hours. Despite my own heartbreak, loss and sorrow, I couldn’t stop my heart going out to her in return, her own life falling apart though in a slightly different way. My sister was two years older than me, and we’d been close growing up. We spoke as often as possible, despite living on opposite sides of the world, and I knew all about her own problems. So I told her not to worry about me.

The celebrant finally stopped speaking. I was tempted to perform the eulogy, but to be honest, I just couldn’t. Call me a coward if you want. I had the words. I had far too many words. But there was no way I could stand in front of everyone and say them. Not without keeling over myself. Her brother, a good man I’d always got along with, offered to say those words for me. I could never thank him enough.

Once the funeral was complete, the coffin placed in the ground, and the wake was finally over, I was left to wallow in my own pity and despair again. I drifted through life for weeks. I eventually stopped going into work, picking up a drinking habit instead. I fell into a spiral of depression. I just stopped caring about anything. As far as I was concerned, my life ended when Jessica and my unborn child were taken from me.

My memories of that time are confusing. And then everything turned dark for a little while.

*****

*****

I pulled the BMW into the driveway of our house, waiting for the song on the radio to finish before switching off the engine. Grabbing my briefcase, I walked briskly down the path towards our front door, watching it open and my daughter appearing immediately.

“Daddy!” she yelled, running towards me with arms outstretched. I dropped my briefcase and crouched down, scooping her up in my arms and twirling her around, hearing her shriek with laughter before laying a big wet kiss on her cheek.

“Hello, Annabelle. Did you miss Daddy?”

She stretched out her arms again, and I know she wanted a hug, holding her towards me, feeling her little arms wrap around my neck as I bent down to pick up my briefcase. Carrying daughter and briefcase inside, I kicked the door shut behind me before yelling, “Honey, I’m home!”

My wife appeared in the doorway between living room and kitchen, waddling slightly considering she was six months pregnant. Still carrying my daughter, I walked towards her and leaned down to kiss her once close enough. “Good day, Steve?”

“Oh, it’s always fun in the office, Jess. You know that. How are you? Annabelle giving you the run around?”

“Tired. And yes. Not really looking forward to the shift tomorrow either.”

“Sounds like someone may need a foot rub later.”

She smiled. “I know exactly where that will lead.” Then she stood on tippy-toes and whispered into my ear, “I can’t wait.”

We ate dinner as a family, bathed and dressed Annabelle for bed before I read her a bedtime story. She was asleep rather early. Jessica was already waiting for me on the bed, standing up as I walked into our bedroom. Hooking her arms around me, we kissed, softly at first before she responded to my deeper kiss, and soon our tongues were playing together. She pulled back and smiled, saying she loved me.

Before I could even reply, she was ripped from my grasp, thrown into the wall on the other side of the bedroom. I ran towards her immediately, getting down on one knee and moving her face towards mine. Cold, lifeless eyes stared back into my mine. I checked her body, leaping back as blood pooled on the ground. Before I could even comprehend what was happening, I heard crying from the other bedroom.

I ran down the hall, yelling my daughter’s name, opening the door to be greeted by sheer silence. And an empty room. The walls were painted but bare. There was no furniture. I scratched my head, beyond confused. “Annabelle?” I asked, though there was obviously no response.

I heard a knock at the front door, walking down the stairs, opening it to find a police officer waiting for me, dressed in a bright yellow fluorescent jacket. It nearly blinded me. “Mr Smith?” I nodded. “I have some news about your wife.”

“What about her? She’s asleep upstairs.”

He said something, but I couldn’t hear it, feeling myself dragged back into the house, the door closing on the police officer. Hearing a voice behind me, I turned around to be greeted by a dark hallway, a door at the other end, a small light above it. Glancing behind, there was only darkness. Shrugging, I wandered forward, opening the door to find a table, a lone light above it, illuminating something. What appeared to be a pistol. From all the American films I’ve watched, it appeared to be what they called a Glock.

Walking towards the table, I looked around, seeing only darkness. Picking up the gun, it felt light in my hand, and made of plastic.

“I’m sorry.”

I looked up and saw him. The driver. Without hesitating, I lifted the gun, aimed and pulled the trigger. The bullet went right through him as he continued to say he was sorry. I roared, all the anger and grief I had bubbling inside finally boiling over, feeling the tears flow as I pulled the trigger again and again, wanting the bastard to die, but he just wouldn’t go down, slowly disappearing from view, only those two words continuing to repeat.

“I’m sorry.”

Pictures started to illuminate around me. They were all of Jessica and myself. Those days we spent in Berlin. Her time at university in Bristol. The day we married. Our honeymoon in the Caribbean. Holidays in Europe. They were all good memories. Too much. I missed her. I wanted to be with her again. No matter the cost.

I looked down at the gun in my hand. It was the way out. The way to see her again and end all the pain. Suicide is painless, right?

I put the barrel in my mouth.

Closed my eyes.

And pulled the trigger.

*****

*****

My eyelids felt like hundred tonne weights. I could feel a blockage in one of my nostrils, blindly trying to remove whatever was obstructing it. My eyes slowly started to open, and I realised I wasn’t in my house. I was in a hospital. How the hell did I get here?

Then I felt someone grab my right hand. The hand was small, soft and definitely feminine. Jessica? I managed to turn my head a little, my eyes moving the rest of the way. I opened my mouth to say something, but my voice wouldn’t work, my throat as dry as a desert, my tongue feeling thick in my mouth.

“Hey,” my sister said quietly. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, like she’d definitely been crying. She squeezed my hand again as I noticed a presence next to her.

I opened my mouth again to say something. My father shook his head. “It’s okay, Steven. It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”

I looked back at my sister and I tried to smile. She smiled at me, wiping her cheeks with her free hand. “How are you feeling?” I just shrugged. I didn’t remember a thing. I didn’t particularly feel in any pain right now either. I just wanted the damned thing out of my nose and a drink. Preferably booze, though my stomach hurt.

“I’ll grab a nurse, Rebecca. I’m sure they’ll want to check over your brother.”

Noticing a table nearby and a jug of water, I pointed towards it and my sister knew what I wanted. Pouring me a cup, she helped sit me up and I enjoying the feeling of cold water in my mouth and down my throat. Both still felt dry, but I certainly felt better afterwards. After lying back down, she grabbed my hand again. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, Stevie. A lot has happened lately that will need explaining. I’m not sure what I can say. Just be patient. It’ll be sorted out.”

A nurse appeared a few minutes later. I’d obviously never met her before, though she was very friendly, talking away as she checked me over, taking my temperature, blood pressure and checking me over before asking if I felt okay.

“Fine,” I managed to croak, before I pointed at the thing in my nose, “Out.”

“I’ll have to get the doctor first, Steven. He’ll want to take his own diagnosis first. Your body has been through a lot, and although you’re out of the woods and appear healthy, he’ll want to make sure.” The nurse then smiled at me before turning around and walking away.

I looked back at my father and sister. “What happened?” I asked, my voice gravelly though soft, as my throat still felt dry.

“Not yet, Stevie,” my father replied, “It’s not the time.”

The doctor, a man who appeared to be of sub-continental descent, though with a Birmingham accent, appeared a couple of minutes later, clipboard in hand as he asked, “How are you feeling today, Mr Smith?”

“Fine,” I said again.

“Hmmm,” he said, looking down at his clipboard, “Well, your vitals are fine. Blood pressure is good. Blood work is now clean. I’m sure a couple of days’ rest has helped your sobriety.”

“Why am I here?” I managed to croak, my throat immediately crying out for me to stop talking.

“You don’t remember?” I shook my head. “You’ll need to discuss it later. But the paramedics barely made it in time.”

I didn’t remember a thing. Sure, there were snapshots in my mind of things that had happened since the funeral, but I’d spent most of the time since at the bottom of a bottle, trying to forget everything. I only remembered emotions. Anger. Despair. Depression. Grief. That was the overwhelming emotion. I still felt it lying there in my heart and mind. I turned to look at my family. My father appeared heartbroken. My sister was wiping her cheeks again. I looked back at the doctor. “How?” I gasped.

“Pills, a lot of alcohol and you slashed yourself too, explaining the bandage on your left wrist.” I hadn’t even noticed that. “We’ve kept you under the past couple of days simply so you would dry out.”

“Shit.”

“You’re still alive, Mr Smith, so that’s a good thing. But once you’re well enough, there will be certain suggestions about what you should do next. You will receive a visitor tomorrow, perhaps the day after, who will assess your psychological condition.”

“Fun.”

“Stevie,” my sister whispered, noticing the look she gave me.

My father turned to the doctor. “We already know why, doctor. Is it really necessary? We just want to take him home.”

The doctor shook his head. “I’m afraid not. He will need to be assessed first. We take these matters seriously, particularly if there is another attempt.”

“It’s fine,” I grunted, my voice slowly coming back, my sister politely handing me another cup of water. I smiled at her, which made her smile back at me, though her eyes said more. Just like my father, her heart was broken.

The doctor nodded again. “Very well, Mr Smith. You feeling hungry?” I gestured I was. “Good. I’ll have someone bring you a bite to eat. Nothing too much, as you probably haven’t eaten a lot of food lately, prior to arriving here anyway. Other than that, you’re still going to need your rest. Your body will be going through some changes. Alcohol withdrawal isn’t always the most pleasant of experiences. It’s another reason we kept you under for a couple of days, to get you over the worst. We did you a real favour there, Mr Smith.”

“Great,” I muttered, “Thanks.”

The last thing the doctor did was finally take the damned tube out of my nose, confident enough that I could get up and walk to the toilet if I needed it. Food arrived ten minutes later, and though I didn’t feel hungry, I scoffed it down within a couple of minutes. My stomach grumbled afterwards, left thinking it was the first proper meal I’d had in a while. I knocked back the entire jug of water at the same time, and though I wouldn’t say I was feeling normal by the end, my voice finally started to work.

“When did you get here? How did you find out?” I asked.

My father and sister took a seat near my bed. My sister took hold of my hand again. I just squeezed it in reassurance. “We got here yesterday,” my father replied, “We found out because you left a message online what you were doing. You have any idea what day it is?” I shrugged. Each day was as bad as the next. “It’s been four months since the funeral, Steven. And barely anyone has seen or heard from you for the past three.”

“We understand why,” my sister added, her voice halting as she was very upset, “The message you left was… heart-breaking. As soon as I read it, I called Dad and we were on the first flight out of Melbourne the next day.”

“We had no idea, son. Why didn’t you speak to someone?” I just shrugged. I was too worried about wallowing in my grief and self-pity to worry about anything else. I certainly didn’t want to unload my burdens on anyone else, particularly the dark thoughts which I obviously had. I still didn’t really remember. I was blackout drunk the entire time.

“We’re taking you home, Stevie,” my sister said, “We’re taking you back to Australia.”

I didn’t really argue. There was nothing left for me in the UK anyway. I really didn’t want to go back to the house. Every room was just a reminder. I didn’t particularly want to see the place ever again, though if I was being taken home, then I guess I had things to sort out.

“Do you want to come home, Stevie?” I nodded. My sister, still holding my hand, gave it another squeeze. “Good.”

I eventually spent a week in hospital. I was released from the ward by the end of the next day, as I was physically fine, though I was suffering shakes and sweats from alcohol withdrawal. My dad had been to clean up my house and, while he didn’t mention how many, he was amazed at the number of empty bottles of Jack Daniels that lay around. The rest of the time in hospital, I was kept in what I guess would be called a ‘secure’ ward. I wasn’t tempted to try again, and I could have left whenever I wanted. But I guess unloading everything on my mind in front of a psychologist wasn’t a bad thing. Surprisingly, they didn’t consider me a further risk, almost understanding the attempt. So apart from a few pills, and a suggestion that I should continue seeing someone upon arriving home, I was released from hospital.

Dad had to fly home, as he still had the farm to run, so that left my sister with me as I started to pack up my life. The first thing was to sell the house. I found cleaning the place rather therapeutic, though I nearly broke again when Jessica’s parents arrived at the front door. They obviously knew what had happened, and were terribly upset, unable to come see me at the hospital as they were worried how I would react to their presence.

The three of us travelled to the cemetery one day to say our final goodbye as a family. They knew, once I left, I’d probably never come back. Too many memories. Too much pain. Distance would probably work the best. I’d take back pictures and mementoes. She was my wife. The woman I loved, and would continue to love. But she was gone. And I knew I had to move on. I offered them the opportunity to come see me, but I think they knew that although I meant well, I was a reminder for them too. We’d probably keep in touch but they had to move on too.

I found talking to my sister helped my state of mind too. I think I laughed for the first time in months when she found herself covered in paint one day, dropping the can on herself as we painted the walls of one of the bedrooms. Of course, the laughter soon turned into tears, and I found the release a real weight off my shoulders. Eventually we just hugged each other and I thanked her for being there for me.

One morning, we were sitting together over breakfast, enjoying a coffee. “So what about you, Rebecca? I’ve been so wrapped up in my shell of a life, what’s the story with you?”

“Dave and I are now officially divorced.”

I reached out to grab her hand this time. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. He was a fuckwit.” I must have looked surprised, as she just smiled. “There was one thing I can point too, but I don’t want to get into that right now. He wasn’t abusive. He was just… a fuckwit. Guess I just married him for the wrong reasons.” She groaned. “Think I’m like Mum sometimes…”

“Why do you say that?”

“Poor choices in men, at least after Dad. Look at her life since she walked out on him. A series of dipshits and dropkicks. Little wonder we don’t really talk to her anymore.” She looked me in the eyes. “Little wonder you walked out and returned to Dad when you were 14.”

“She didn’t exactly set the best example by bringing home a different guy nearly every weekend. Mum was free to do what she wanted as a single woman, but that doesn’t mean I have to like or respect it. It also doesn’t provide the most stable of households. Young men such as myself need a role model, a father figure to look up to, respect and take sage advice from. So that’s why I left to live with Dad. He remarried, extended the family, provided for them and us. He was someone I could aspire to be like.”

“It’s why I’m living nearby now.”

“You are?”

“I lived with Dad for a little while. Houses are cheap in the area, considering it’s not Sydney or Melbourne. I could afford to buy a little two-bedroom place. Managed to find a half decent job in the nearest city. It’s only a half hour drive there or back, and the roads are quiet.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Since I live alone, I was wondering if you’d want to live with me for a while?”

“I hadn’t even thought about what I was going to do when we get back. So, sure, why not. Thanks.”

“I think we could probably both do with the company. Particularly you.”

“I’m alright, Rebecca.”

She cast me with a look I knew well. “We haven’t seen each other much in the past few years, Stevie, but remember one thing; you’ve never been able to bullshit me.”

“I know,” I said quietly before I stared into my empty mug for a few seconds. I then tapped the side of my head with a finger. “Still working through things in here. Sorting out all the thoughts.” I met my sister’s eyes. “You’ve been a good help. You’ve listened to me.”

“My little brother needs my help. Of course I’ll listen.”

After we’d fixed the house and I’d sold most of my possessions, not wanting to ship too much back to Australia, I found a solicitor to sell the house on my behalf and finally left the UK. With a bank account now full of numbers and zeroes, I treated my sister and I to Business Class flights from London Heathrow to Melbourne, via Dubai, choosing to fly Emirates.

Our father picked us up from the airport after an entire day in the air, with a transfer of planes at Dubai. Thanks to the far comfier seats in Business, my sister and I had managed to get plenty of sleep on the way. It was early morning by the time we landed, our father saying we’d drive all the way home as it was only a few hours. We were fed well on the plane, so didn’t stop until we reached the Victorian / New South Wales border, the farm inland from the coast though not far from the river.

Eventually hitting the highway to the small town my sister lived in, the farm my father owned another twenty minutes further on, I was sitting back in the rear, simply staring out the window, watching the countryside pass by. It looked so peaceful, so different to where I had been living before. There wasn’t a soul around for miles.

“Dad, pull the car over.”

“What? Why?”

“Just pull over for a minute. Please.”

He found a verge safe to stop the car, switching off the engine as I heard the tyres crunch the gravel below. I opened the door and got out, stretching my legs as I took in the surroundings. In the distance was the Great Dividing Range, the mountains that separated the coast from what Australians called ‘the outback’. In the near distance was the river that separated the two states of Victoria and New South Wales. A few metres away lay a fallen tree, walking towards it and taking a seat. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There was little noise. Perhaps the wind through the trees. An insect or two chirping away. I heard footsteps approach as I relaxed.

“Good to be home, Stevie?” my sister asked.

“It’s certainly peaceful out here. Such a difference to what I’ve grown accustomed to.”

“Have you missed it?” she asked, taking a seat next to me on the log. I glanced back, my father just leaning against the bonnet of the car, hands in his pockets, without a care in the world for a moment.

Turning to my sister, I shrugged at first. “Didn’t give it a lot of thought most of the time, to be honest. Missed my own family, of course, but I was planning on…” I stopped and sighed. No shudder or tears. All the talking had helped. I still felt grief and depressed at times. But I was feeling a little better. “Guess even best laid plans and all that.”

Rebecca grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “You’re doing alright, Stevie.” It wasn’t a question. She said it as a statement of fact. She was at least halfway right.

We sat in silence, continuing to hold hands, gazing at the undulating scenery in front of us. A lot of grass. Some trees. A few animals in a nearby paddock. Looked like cows. There was next to no traffic on the road behind us. I think one truck passed by during the time we sat there. My sister finally snuggled into my side, wrapping my arm around her in return. We hadn’t done that in years.

“I know it’s a shit reason, Stevie, but I’m glad you’ve come home.”

“Give me some time and I’ll think the same way, Rebecca. Still a little raw…”

I felt a kiss on my cheek before she hugged me side on again. “I know. But at least I’ll have my little brother around again.”

The three of us piled back into the car and Dad drove the rest of the way to Rebecca’s place. The house wasn’t anything fancy but it sat on a good sized block, so if she ever married and had children, there would be space enough to extend the house. Dad helped carry in our luggage, but turned down her offer of a coffee, stating he had better get home.

“You will have to drive your brother up to the homestead tomorrow. Your stepmother and your other sisters and brother will want to see you.”

“I’ll drive us both up around lunchtime tomorrow, Dad.”

For the first time in a long time, my father embraced me. “Good to have you home, son.”

“Thanks, Dad. I’ll feel the same way soon enough.”

He released me, cleared his throat before nodding at the pair of us. I turned towards my sister as she jerked her head towards the kitchen, offering to make me a coffee. “You should know Dad well enough by now. He’s not the most emotional of people. But he’s delighted you’ve come home, Stevie.”

We sat in the kitchen for a while, enjoying a brew in near silence, the pair of us probably talked out for the moment. I was then shown to the spare bedroom, where there was a double bed, a bedside table on either side and a built in wardrobe. Dumping my two suitcases on the bed, my sister left me alone to sort my things out. One was just full of clothes, easy enough to sort out. The other had more clothes, but also some of the mementoes I’d taken from my old house. I couldn’t help sit on the bed, clutching the photo of my wife and I. It was our wedding photo. I must have been a while as I felt the bed move next to me.

“She was beautiful, Stevie.”

“Yeah…”

“It’ll get better.”

I took a deep breath. “I know. Each day, it does get a little better, the heartache slowly fading. Still miss the hell out of her, but the mind and heart are beginning to accept that she’s gone.” I sighed again. “I think it’ll help if I just put the one photo up but I’ll keep the rest hidden. I don’t want to be reminded every day, right?”

“Would you like to put it with those I’ve got in the living room?”

I couldn’t help smile. “Are you sure that’s okay?”

“Stevie, she was your wife and part of the family. Of course I don’t mind. It was an important day in your life.” We walked out into the living room and placed the photo on the mantelpiece next to the rest of the family. I couldn’t help turn my wedding ring as I stepped back, my sister noticing. She just grabbed my right hand and squeezed it. “It’ll be okay, Stevie. Just you wait.”

My sister drove the pair of us to the farm the next day for lunch. As soon as my stepmother, Kerrie, saw me, she burst into floods of tears and nearly crushed my bones with the strength of her hug. She was a big, strong woman, years spent supporting my father on the farm giving her muscles I didn’t know existed. She had given birth to three other siblings. From what Rebecca told me, they were not aware of anything except that I’d lost my wife, which is why I was now home. There was a 12-year gap between me and the oldest of the other three. The youngest, my brother, had only just reached double digits. I was left thinking if I took them into the city, people would think they were mine.

The pair of us eventually stayed through lunch into the afternoon, enjoying a roast dinner that evening. I admit I laughed more in those few hours than I had in months, my three younger siblings certainly providing plenty of entertainment, my little brother attempting numerous times to drag me into the living room so we could play on the PS4. I eventually gave in and played a couple of games of FIFA. Getting absolutely spanked playing a football game with a ten-year-old is a little embarrassing.

Once the youngsters were in bed, the four of us sat on the veranda, Dad and my stepmother with a beer, Rebecca with a glass of wine. I was drinking lemonade. I wasn’t on the wagon, but I didn’t think I should touch alcohol for a while longer yet.

“How are you really, Steve?” Kerrie asked once the conversation died down.

I looked into the distance, the sky a kaleidoscope of colours, purple, pink, red, orange and yellow standing out, the sun having dipped over the horizon. Above, the stars were starting to shine, twinkling in the distance. I knew out here, when lying in the middle of a paddock on a blanket, you would occasionally see a shooting star. I didn’t believe in all that ‘wish upon a star’ bollocks, knowing the one wish I had wouldn’t come true anyway. “Okay,” I finally said, nodding more to myself than them, “I’m doing okay.” I paused, before I smirked, “Not thinking about topping myself anyway.”

“Stevie,” my sister said, grabbing my hand.

“I think I can joke about it considering…” I met all their eyes. “I’m doing just fine. Being home helps.”

“If you ever need to talk, you know your father and I are here too.”

“I know, Kerrie. Thanks.”

“But I’m sure your sister is going to keep you on the straight and narrow.”

She withdrew her hand and folded them across her chest, giving me a look. “Too right she is. There will be no wallowing in misery once I get my claws into you, Stevie.”

Having had a couple of glasses of wine, I offered to drive us home, not before Kerrie smothered me in another hug then shaking hands with my father. Despite it only being a fifteen to twenty-minute drive, Rebecca was fast asleep by the time I brought the car to a stop in the driveway. I gently shook her shoulder. “Up and at them, sleepyhead.” She didn’t move, so I walked around the car to open her door, leaning down to drape one of her arms around my neck. She finally woke up and giggled as I dragged her sorry arse inside. “Good thing you’re not too heavy,” I added, managing to open the door.

“I’m not drunk, Stevie. Just tired,” she mumbled.

Finding her bedroom in the dark, I sat her down on her bed, switching on the lamp on the small chest of drawers beside her bed. She smiled at me before collapsing on her side, so I at least helped remove her shoes and socks before managing to cover her.

“I thought you were meant to be taking care of me?”

She giggled. “Okay, the wine may have gone to my head.”

“Good to see you let your hair down, Rebecca. I’ll see you in the morning.” I kissed her forehead and I’m sure I heard quiet snoring by the time I closed the door behind me.

I made myself a coffee and sat outside on the veranda by myself in the darkness. I tried to empty my mind, but even though I said I was fine, I could still feel her presence, even though she’d been gone for months. I guess it may have been the late stages of grief. I didn’t really know all that much about it. I wasn’t thinking of her as much as I had. I still felt sadness, but it wasn’t as overwhelming. I figured keeping myself busy, both physically and mentally, would help me.

But I sat back and enjoyed the silence nonetheless. Finishing my coffee, I headed inside, had a quick shower and headed to bed.

*****

*****

‘Here lies Jessica Elizabeth Smith’.

Below that were the dates of her birth and death. Loving wife and mother. Beloved daughter and granddaughter. Then a quote she loved by a particular author. Something about living life to the fullest. I couldn’t quite make it out.

Below all that was another name.

‘Here lies Annabelle Jessica Smith.’

Two dates. The date we found out Jessica was pregnant and her death. There was only simple quote, saying she was now with Mummy and the angels.

“It’s a lovely gravestone, Steven,” Jessica said, standing next to me.

“Figured you’d like it.”

“And you know I loved that quote. I’m glad you remembered.”

I chuckled. “Come on, Jessica. I know everything about you. Hell, I knew your life story after that first weekend in Berlin.”

She grabbed my hand, squeezing it. I couldn’t help close my eyes at her touch. “What are you going to do now, Steven?”

“No idea.”

“You’re not going to try and do something stupid like that again, are you?”

I looked at her, into her eyes. I could see the disapproval. “I just wanted…”

She raised a finger to my mouth. “Not like that. You still have your life to live.”

We turned around and were at our old house. She led the way, still holding my hand as she opened the door, escorting me upstairs to our bedroom. Letting go of my hand, I blinked and she was standing in front of me without any clothes on. She smiled shyly as she walked towards me, kissing me gently on the lips. I closed my eyes, savouring the moment, the taste of her lips, the feel of her tongue, my hands immediately on her back, holding her close to me. My heart thundered in my chest.

I opened my eyes and nearly cried out in surprise. “Rebecca? The fuck are you doing here?” I looked around and realised we were in her bedroom.

“What’s wrong, Stevie?”

“Where’s Jessica?”

The eyebrows raised in surprise. “She’s gone, Stevie. Don’t you remember?”

I looked down and noticed I was naked. And I was rather erect. Looking back at my sister, who was also naked, I wondered what the fuck was going on. “Why am I naked?” I asked, “Hang on, why are you naked?”

“I thought you wanted this.”

“Wanted what?”

“This,” she replied, getting down on her knees. And then she grabbed my cock. “Wow, my little brother sure has a package on him. No wonder Jessica loved you.” I could barely grunt a reply. “Would you like me to suck your cock, little brother?”

“What?” I nearly shouted, “Rebecca, you’re my sister!”

“And?”

“Well, it’s… wrong.”

“So you don’t want me to suck your cock? Because, considering how hard you are,” Then she licked up my shaft, causing me to involuntary shudder, “And how good you taste, I think your body is telling me something else.”

I watched, half in horror, half in expectation, as my cock disappeared inside the mouth of my sister.

*****

*****

My eyes shot open just as I felt cum blast out of my cock onto my chest. I didn’t even know you could masturbate while you slept, though I guess this was what one called a wet dream. I hadn’t suffered them as I was a teenager, though I guess I could now cross that off the list. I’d groaned as I came, but my mind was frazzled as I immediately remembered the dream. Okay, what the fuck was all that about?

Granted, my sister has been the only female companion I’d had for at least the last month and a half, but I’d never looked at her as anything but my sister. As in, completely non-sexual. Maybe I just needed to jerk off? It’s been a while since I’ve had sex. It was only a couple of days before… Yep, that killed my erection. Looking around and not finding anything to clean myself up with, I got up and dashed to the bedroom, immediately stepping into the shower and scrubbing myself down. Mostly so I could clean off the cum, but I also felt a little… dirty, I guess, as I remembered the dream. It was incredibly vivid. If I closed my eyes, I could still see my sister on her knees before me.

And my cock didn’t co-operate, as I felt myself getting hard again. Okay, listen up, little guy. You are NOT getting hard thinking about my sister. That shit is just fucked up. Down NOW! It didn’t go down. I sighed to myself, hoping it would just go down naturally.

A knock at the door almost led to me shitting myself. “You want a coffee, Stevie?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

“Breakfast too? How about I cook us up some bacon?”

“Sure thing, Rebecca. Sounds great.”

Once I felt under control, and my little guy was in a flaccid state, I put on some underwear, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before wandering out in the kitchen, my sister at the stove, her back to me. She was wearing a rather small pair of shorts and a tank top. I took a seat on one of the stools and couldn’t help look her over, the dream still vivid, comparing my mind to reality. She was barely 5’4, no idea what she weighed, but she was slim. Her boobs were small, B-cup at most I guess. Blonde hair and blue eyes, I knew that well. She was well tanned, though it wasn’t over the top. She just glowed. I couldn’t help run my eyes down over her pert little butt and her legs, which appeared far longer than they were. Even the backs of her ankles were cute. I then shook my head of any thoughts.

She turned around and smiled upon seeing me. “Morning, Stevie. Sleep well?”

“Um, yeah,” I replied, trying not to appear nervous, hoping she couldn’t read my mind, “Great. Yeah. Just great.”

“Coffee?”

“Sure. Would love one.”

A steaming cup of brown was soon placed in front of me, adding a couple of sugars, as my sister finishing cooking up the bacon. Nothing extravagant, just bacon on toast. “Any plans for today?” I asked once she’d served it up.

“Sunday, so that means absolutely nothing. I’m back to work tomorrow though. So I guess the question is what are you going to do?”

I shrugged. “No idea, to be honest. I have enough money that I don’t really have to work for a while, but hanging around here by myself, doing nothing, won’t help my state of mind.”

“You want to find a job?”

“Was thinking of talking to Dad, seeing if he wanted some help. Definitely want to go for a run.”

“You’re a keen runner?”

“Done a few half marathons in my time. Why?”

“If you want a running buddy, I’m always available.”

“Sounds good.”

We did nothing all day, spending most of the day lounging around, watching a bit of sport on TV, reading the newspaper or a book, while my sister also did a spot of cleaning, but considering the house appeared rather spotless, she was only on her feet for twenty minutes. She eventually sat next to me on the couch, putting her dainty little feet in my lap. I turned to look at her and she just smirked. “My feet are sore.”

“And?”

She just raised an eyebrow. “Well, you’ll be living here rent free, so I’m thinking the occasional foot rub would be nice.”

I couldn’t help sigh. “Fine. Got anything I can use?”

“What, like lotion? Yeah, should be some on in the bathroom.”

I was left thinking giving my sister a foot massage was a little intimate, particularly because, whenever I used to give one to my wife, it would usually end with us upstairs, doing other naughty things. I shook my mind of those thoughts once I sat down, my sister putting her feet on my lap, placing a towel to cover my clothes, before I got to work.

I have no idea why I was good at it. I hadn’t even read up how to do them. I just did what I thought would feel good. My sister certainly seemed to enjoy whatever I was doing, glancing at her face to see her eyes were closed, a slight smile on her face. I focused on her left foot first, making sure I didn’t tickle her, or at least not too much, before moving on to her right. Without even thinking, I then started to massage her calves, as she felt rather tense. She opened an eye as I did that and, to my relief, smiled. “How about all over?”

“Seriously?”

“Will that make you uncomfortable?”

Um, yeah, it would. Considering all the thoughts I’ve had all day. I shrugged. “Nah, she’ll be right.”

Rebecca was rather excited, disappearing for a couple of minutes, returning with a towel, spreading that on the floor, before she removed her top, leaving herself in just a bra and her rather short shorts. She lay down on her stomach, crossing her arms and laying her head down. I was thinking this was a very bad idea. I took a couple of deep breaths before I got in position, looking up her rather nubile body. I’d never looked at my sister as a sexual being. She was just, well, my sister. Sure, she was female. Pretty damned cute. But she was someone who I never thought of in that way.

The dream I had the night before was still on my mind, though. I was left thinking I just needed to get laid. It had been a few months now. Understandable, after everything, so perhaps I just needed to jerk off more often until I felt ready to head back out into the world. Not that I really wanted to.

I started on her feet, this time tickling her on purpose, making her shriek with laughter. Just hearing that was a reminder of our childhood. We were not that close growing up, but that was more to do with having little in common. We certainly got on, and she was always good with advice when I was going through puberty, particularly when it came to girls. Moving up to her calves, I gave those a good massage before slowing moving my way up her legs to her hamstrings. She still felt rather tense, so I spent plenty of time massaging the knots out of them.

“Why are you so tense?” I wondered aloud.

“Dunno. But, whatever you’re doing, it’s working. I feel so relaxed.”

I stopped moving as soon as I got close to her arse. I was definitely not massaging that. I shuffled my body up, trying not to sit on her, as I started at her shoulders, feeling how tense she was there too. Massaging up and down her arms, all the way to her hands, I then focused on her shoulders again before moving down her back. Her skin felt so soft and smooth under my palms. She really did look after herself. And, I’ll admit, feeling the skin of a woman under my palm for the first time in a while, I was getting a little horny, sister or not.

Sitting back, I knew I had to stop before I touched her somewhere inappropriate. “Done,” I said quietly.

My sister sat up for a moment, took a deep breath, before she turned towards me. Kissing me on my cheek, she thanked me then disappeared into her room, closing the door. I wandered into my own room, closing the door behind me, and jerked off. I came within a couple of minutes. Did I feel a little dirty about the fact I thought about my sister the entire time? Sure, but I didn’t really care. She felt really damned good, and I was left wondering if I’d turned her on in return. There’s no doubt she would have felt my cock press into her butt when I was doing her shoulders. Maybe she’s in her room masturbating right now?

Unsurprisingly, we avoided each other the rest of the day until there was a knock at my door, Rebecca announcing dinner was ready. We sat at her small dining table and chatted the usual shit. Whenever she met my eyes, she’d smile shyly before looking away. Once we’d finished dinner, she opened a bottle of wine and I enjoyed my first alcoholic beverage in quite a while as we sat on the veranda again.

“Did you massage Jessica like that?”

Ah, so we are going to open Pandora’s box. “Occasionally. Usually it was just her feet after a long day. I’ve not got a fetish, before you ask, but she was on her feet all day, and it made her feel good.”

“Stevie, can I be honest about something?” I just shrugged. Rebecca was going to tell me anyway. “You kinda turned me on earlier.”

“That wasn’t the intention. And you did ask for one.”

“It was really good. And you left me really wet.” She then paused before meeting my eyes. “And I felt you press into me too.”

I just shrugged again. “My sister is an attractive woman, who I was massaging in what even I’d call an intimate way. No masseuse would sit like I was.”

“Well, if you ever want to do it again, Stevie, I won’t say no.” I couldn’t help look at her, no doubt surprise on my face. “You made me feel good. Really good. I had to go masturbate afterwards.” Wine was spat everywhere before I started to cough and laugh at the same time. I figured she had taken care of herself, but I didn’t think she’d admit it. “We’re both adults, Stevie. I’m not embarrassing you, am I?”

“I figured you would be, considering you just told your brother he turned you on and then you needed to masturbate afterwards.”

“It’s been a long time since any man has touched me in such a way. I know it wasn’t sexual, but it was a little intimate, and as I said, you were very good.”

“Thanks.”

“Up for a run tomorrow morning before I go to work?”

“Sure, what time?”

“I have to be gone by 8am, so I’m thinking a half hour to forty-five-minute run. Leave here around six or six-thirty?”

“I’m used to rising early so that’s fine.”

We headed to bed soon after, my sister giving me a rather long hug before she disappeared into her room. I thought nothing of it, though by the time I’d stripped off and was under the covers, I felt the urge to jerk off again. So I did, feeling no shame when I closed my eyes and imagined touching my sister intimately. God, I really need to get laid. This time, I kept a towel close by so cleaning up wasn’t a hassle.

Every morning for the next week, my sister and I would raise with the sun and head out. We started small at first, only running 5k. I could have done double that without a problem, despite not having done much exercise in the past few months, but while she was enthusiastic, she was blowing after only a couple of kilometres for the first couple of days. By the end of the week, we were both doing the 5k without too much hassle. My only problem was the fact I was finding her ever more attractive.

Each morning she’d walk outside to greet me in tight lycra shorts, moulded to her arse, with a sports bra, leaving most of her skin exposed. Her long legs, at least for her size, were slim but toned. She always wore a ponytail and sunglasses at the same time. I knew I stared each morning, and I’m sure she noticed. And, of course, we sometimes ran side by side, and I would sometimes follow her, watching her perfect little arse bounce along.

When she was at work, I actually tried to help around the house, though as my sister had lived alone until I turned up, there wasn’t much to do. So I actually looked into making the outside nicer, mowing the lawns, trimming the edges, trimming the bushes. She had a garden that looked neglected, so I spent nearly an entire day fixing that too.

After dinner on Friday, my sister and I were sitting back on the couch, watching the footy. Her feet ended up on my lap again, and I absentmindedly started to massage them again. Unsurprisingly, my sister then asked if I was up for giving her another massage. I said it was no problem, earning me a kiss on the cheek before she skipped out of the living room in excitement.

She returned with a bottle of oil, stating she’d bought it specifically, lying the towel on the floor. She then surprised me by taking of her shirt and bra before lying down on her stomach. Now my sister lay before me in only a pair of rather small shorts, the rest of her body exposed. I had to take a breath, tempted to put a couple of fingers to my neck to check my heart rate. Then I shook my head. She was only my sister. Only my sister. Yes, attractive. Gorgeous. Beautiful, even. But still, sister.

I started with her right leg. First her foot, making sure I tickled her at the same time, wanting to hear her laugh, before moving up to her calves, spending plenty of time loosening the muscles, then focused on her hamstrings, while doing my best to do her quads without having her turn over. Doing exactly the same with her left leg, I then avoided her arse again as I started on her lower back. The higher up her body I moved, the more I had to reposition myself and it wasn’t long until I was sat near enough to her arse that she would have felt me press into her once I started to massage her shoulders.

Her body now glistened with all the oil I’d used. She hadn’t made any noises to suggest anything other than contentment, and that she’d enjoyed the massage, but I still wondered if I’d turned her on. Her body had made one or two subtle movements to suggest that perhaps she was.

Once I removed my hands, she recognised I was finished. “Can you get off me please?” she asked softly.

I shuffled back, allowing her to move. She lifted herself onto her knees and turned to face me. I couldn’t help staring at her boobs. They were small but they were beautiful. She smiled as I moved my eyes to her face as she leaned forward to hug me, kissing my cheek at the same time. “Thanks for the massage,” she whispered into my ear.

I think I managed to grunt some sort of reply before she let me go, got to her feet and disappeared into her bedroom. I was now turned on myself, sitting back on the couch. Running a hand down my face, I wondered what I was really thinking and feeling. I’ll admit, my thoughts in the past week had been more about my sister than my deceased wife. I guess that was helping me finally move on. But the fact my thoughts were about my sister, someone who I shouldn’t be thinking about in such a way? Yeah, that was a mindfuck.

Figuring I should probably just jerk off to get over it, I walked past my sisters’ bedroom. She hadn’t closed the door all the way and I couldn’t help look in, noticing she was lying back on her bed, her right hand clear playing with herself. She didn’t see me, thankfully her eyes being closed, but I couldn’t help stand and watch for a few seconds. In that moment, my viewpoint of my sister changed to a completely sexualised one. She was fucking gorgeous.

Before I was noticed, I strode to my room and had my cock in hand seconds later. I closed my eyes and tried to think about Jessica, just for old time’s sake, not wanting to think about my sister. But she always found her way into my thoughts, and my orgasm only a couple of minutes later was very intense. Lying back on my bed afterwards, sucking a number of deep breaths, I knew I was totally fucked up. And I was left wondering what my sister was thinking.

Breakfast the next morning was a little awkward. I knew my sister had been turned on and had masturbated, though I don’t think she saw me watch her, even if it was only for a few seconds. I was definitely turned on, and figured my sister would have felt my erection press into her, and may have assumed I jerked off afterwards.

“What are your plans today?” she asked, placing a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me.

“I was hoping you could drive me into the city so I could buy a car.”

“What do you need a car for?”

“I don’t want to rely on you to drive my sorry arse around, Rebecca. Plus, while I’m not working, I wouldn’t mind just getting in the car and going for a drive. Maybe explore the region.”

“Okay. We can grab lunch at the same time.”

Finding a car that morning wasn’t a problem, eventually purchasing a five-year-old Commodore, only a few thousand k’s on the clock and in very good condition otherwise. Reasonably happy with the price, I took it for a test drive and made the salesman’s day when I agreed to a price without too much haggling. We were out long enough that lunch was a good idea. Nothing special, and there was no mention of anything untoward happening between us.

Back at the house after lunch, Rebecca suggested it would be nice to go for a swim at the river. It was a rather warm day, so it was a sensible idea. “Where do we go?” I asked.

“There’s a really good spot about forty-five minutes out of town. Very secluded.”

I wondered why she mentioned seclusion, but didn’t say anything. I grabbed a towel, changed into my board shorts and waited for my sister to change. She appeared a few minutes later in a skirt and vest showing off her shoulders, though I could see the string of what I assumed was a bikini underneath.

Offering to drive, we headed out of town, past Dad’s farm until my sister indicated the turn off. Following a dirt track for a few minutes, we finally arrived at a large clearing, no other cars parked up and not another soul in sight. Grabbing our towels, we walked towards the water’s edge, lying them down before my sister stripped down to her bikini. I couldn’t help ogle her, the white bikini leaving little to the imagination. String around the back of her neck with barely enough cloth to cover half a breast each. Her bikini bottoms covered her sex and that was about it, leaving me with knowledge that she kept herself mostly shaved. She noticed me looking, smiled, before she walked into the water. I watched her shake her little arse, wondering if she was doing it for my benefit.

Flinging off my shirt and thongs, I quickly joined her, the water far warmer than I would have guessed, though relaxing at the same time. We paddled around for a few minutes, not really talking, though we kept looking at each other and smiling, left thinking we were just enjoying the others company. I was certainly enjoying hers. My sister was a gorgeous woman, and I knew I was starting to feel a strong attraction to her, despite the fact we were siblings.

I thought about that and figured, in a way, that was good. I was perhaps finally moving on from just grieving for my deceased wife. But the fact I was growing ever more attracted to my sister? Yeah, that probably wasn’t good. But she was gorgeous. Intelligent. Her positivity was infectious. She made me feel like a million bucks. I loved spending time with her. But if we were to head down this road, I knew life was going to get awkward. And I wondered if I was reading everything wrong anyway.

Rebecca swam towards me, wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me gently on the lips. I’ll admit to being a little startled, feeling my eyes widen before she stopped. She didn’t say a word as she unhooked her arms and swam away, eventually getting out of the water. I then watched as she took off her bikini top, then her bikini bottoms, before she lay down on her towel. I now had full view of her naked body. To say it was fantastic would be an understatement.

Wandering out of the water myself, there was little point in trying to hide my erection that formed upon seeing her naked body. She watched me as I lay down on my towel next to her. “You’re naked,” I stated rather dumbly.

“Does that bother you?”

“No. It probably should, but it doesn’t.”

“What do you think?” she asked quietly.

“Rebecca, you’re fucking gorgeous.”

“I’m glad you think so. I can’t remember the last time my dumbass ex-husband touched me.”

“Really? How long?”

“At least a year.”

“Damn, was he gay or something?” She returned a look that even I could see behind her sunglasses. “Really? Is that why you think he’s a fuckwit?”

“I don’t care that he was gay. But I don’t like being… used, for want of a better word, to cover his sexuality. Honestly, Stevie, it’s been years since I’ve been properly fucked. I was married to him for five years and we dated for longer. I truly loved him, and he loved me in his own way, but I did that overlooking the fact the sex was… well… Let’s just say my dildo has seen more action in the past few years than anyone’s dick.”

“So that’s why you liked my massages?”

“One of the reasons. And I’d like you to massage something else, Stevie.” She lifted her sunglasses so I could see her eyes. “Does that shock you?”

“Right now, no.”

I watched the smile form. “I see me being naked has helped.”

“You’re fucking hot, Rebecca. I mean, how has no other man noticed you?”

“I thought there was something wrong with me,” my sister whispered.

I shuffled closer and, with my hand shaking slightly, laid it on her stomach. “There is definitely nothing wrong with you, Rebecca.” Gently running my hand up and down her stomach, her eyes stared into mine as I felt this urge to kiss her. Sister or not, she was an attractive female, and I’ll admit, there was a large part of my brain that wanted her. I lowered my face and she met mine, our lips touching for the first time, in a manner of lovers, not siblings. I think we were both hesitant at first, each aware of the line we were about to cross. Then she parted her lips as I parted mine and our tongues met. They soon danced, running my tongue along her teeth, my hand continuing to stroke her stomach, though I felt her legs move, knowing they were parting. I ran my hands up to her breasts first, feeling her nipples harden as my fingers brushed over them, feeling her smile as we continued to kiss.

She tasted sweet, her skin soft beneath my palm and fingers. I inhaled her scent, a mixture of the water but the remnants of her deodorant and perfume. I ran my fingers down her stomach again, towards her pussy. I felt the remnants of a thin strip of hair, what I knew was called a ‘landing strip’. Otherwise, my sister kept herself shaved. I avoided her cunt, running my hand past towards one of her legs, lifting it up and hooking it over my leg as I dragged her even closer to me, hearing and even feeling her squeal into my mouth as we continued to kiss.

Then I touched her for the first time, and she almost leapt off her towel. “Sorry,” she whispered, breaking our kiss, “It’s been a while.”

I just found her mouth again as my fingers started to tease her, feeling her wetness as my fingers teased her outer lips, gently brushing over her clit, feeling her shudder at my touch. “Tease,” she said, breaking the kiss as she smiled.

“Are you sure about this, Rebecca?”

My hand was still at her pussy as I asked the question. “Just make me cum, Stevie. We’ll worry about the ramifications afterwards.” I raised an eyebrow as she just kissed me again. “Don’t think too much. Just do it. Please?”

I answered by dipping a finger inside her, watching as she lay back on her towel and moaned. Inserting a second finger, I moved my fingers in a way that I assumed would find the right spot, while positing my hand so I could play with her clit at the same time. Otherwise, I watched my sisters face, the smile form as her breathing changed, watching her body buck slightly as I slowly pumped her with my fingers.

“Feels good, Stevie,” she moaned.

Pulling my sister closer to me, she turned onto her side as we continued to make out. Still trying to hit the right spot inside her, she moaned even harder into my mouth, feeling one of her hands on my chest, almost tugging the hair out before it slowly moved down to my cock, the erection now completely tenting my board shorts. Sliding her hand underneath the waist band, I couldn’t help break the kiss and groan.

“Been a while,” I muttered.

“Clit, Stevie,” she whispered.

Leaving my fingers inside her, I moved my hand so I could use my thumb on her little nub. The first touch appeared to send a shock down her spine, needing to break the kiss as she nearly squealed out loud. Then she giggled, opening her eyes to look into mine, feeling her shudder again.

She attempted to continue trying to stroke me, but there was far too much going on with her own body to concentrate, feeling her hand move away, instead using it to drag me in for another kiss. Removing my fingers from inside her, I now focused all my attention on her clit, half tempted to go down there and finished the job with my mouth.

“Close, Stevie. Keep doing whatever you’re doing.”

I did what my sister requested, playing with her clit, feeling her body move and shudder against mine. She broke the kiss for a final time and cried out, throwing an arm around me and hugging me tightly as she came. I kept playing with her until she appeared to have crested the high and was coming down, eventually removing my hand and holding her tightly to me too.

Once she’d calmed down, just listening to my sister take a number of deep breaths, we released each other. I’ll admit I immediately started to feel a little awkward about what we’d just done. It was hot, totally hot, but there was still the alarm going off in the back of my mind screaming ‘She’s your fucking sister!’

“I’d… ah… I’d better get dressed,” my sister said quietly.

“Yeah, sure.” She met my eyes and at least smiled. “Should we, you know, talk about what just happened?”

“Not right now, Stevie.” I nodded as she leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “But I can tell you right now, I don’t regret it.”

“Oh, that’s good, I suppose.”

“And I definitely owe you one,” she finished with a smirk before she got to her feet.

We dressed in silence. Well, she did. I just put on my shirt and thongs, bending down to grab my towel. My sister didn’t bother with her bikini, just throwing on her shirt and skirt, before we headed back to my car. She grabbed my hand before we got in and hugged me again. “Don’t make this weird,” she said quietly.

“I won’t. But…”

“We’ll talk about it later.”

I drove us home in relative silence. I wasn’t in turmoil. To be honest, I’d thoroughly enjoyed what I’d just done with my sister. It was the first real intimate contact I’d had with a woman in months, a few massages notwithstanding. I knew I was ever more attracted to her. The only problem is that she was my sister. And I was left thinking my sister was attracted to me in return. I’m not entirely sure why she was. I wasn’t left thinking this was something due to long held feelings. As I said, I’d never looked at my sister in a sexualised way until recently, and was left with the feeling my sister thought the same way.

Once back at the house, my sister disappeared into her bedroom. I did the same thing, lying back and continuing to think about what was going on. I must have fallen asleep at some point, only waking when I heard a knock at my open door, turning to see Rebecca waiting for me. “Hungry?” she asked.

“Yeah. What’s the plan?”

“Want to head out for dinner?”

“City?” She nodded. “Any good restaurants?”

“I’d like a nice steak. There are one or two good places. Nowhere that will require a reservation.”

“Rightio, I’ll shower and get changed.”

“I’ll go first,” she said, turning around and disappearing before popping her head around a couple of seconds later, “Unless you’d like to join me?” I must have looked slightly shocked as she laughed. I could only smile, shrugging at the same time before I gestured towards the bathroom.

The shower was large enough for the both of us. I was a bit hesitant removing my clothing, as she hadn’t seen me naked yet. She stripped off on the way to the bathroom, so was naked by the time we got there, and I’ll admit to getting a little excited as I stared at her arse. She turned and motioned for me to get undressed.

“You sure?” I asked again.

“We’re only sharing a shower, Stevie. Unless you want something else?”

“I think a shower together is fine for the time being.”

She pouted for a moment before smiling. “If you say so.”

My shirt and shorts disappeared before I took a deep breath and removed my underwear. My sister kept her eyes on mine before they moved down my body. I wasn’t particularly muscular, rather lean thanks to the running and cycling, but since I kept myself healthy, I had definition. Unusually for a runner, I kept the hairs on my chest in place, the colour matching the dark hair on my head. I kept my crotch neat, though, always assuming it made my cock look bigger. It didn’t, but Jessica was far happier to go down on me if I kept the hair trimmed.

“Very nice, Stevie. You look after yourself. Though you’re a little pale.”

“I lived in the UK for a number of years, Rebecca. I’m sure I’ll have a tan back soon enough.”

Once the water was running and warm enough to stand under, my sister grabbed my hand and dragged me under, hugging me tightly, no doubt feeling my erection press into her. She said nothing as we just held each other. It felt really nice to just hold her naked body. It was incredibly intimate, made more so when she lifted her head towards me and we kissed again. While lacking the urgency of the riverside, it was far more passionate.

“What’s going on here, Rebecca?” I finally asked.

“I don’t know, Stevie. I just know I want… this. You’ve made me feel so good lately. You?”

“I’ll admit; I’m feeling a rather strong attraction to you at the moment. And there is a part of me wondering where it might lead.”

“And where would you like it to lead?”

“Where do you think?”

“I can’t remember the last time I had sex, Stevie. You?” I returned a look that caused her face to fall, slapping her forehead for good measure. “Sorry, that was a really stupid question.”

I just hugged her close. “Don’t worry about it. This is helping me.”

“Me being naked or me clearly wanting to have sex with my brother?” I shrugged. “Well, your cock is pressing into me, Stevie. Now I’m wondering what it will feel like inside me.”

I couldn’t help laugh. “Okay, a couple of months ago, I would have been horrified my sister just said that to me.”

“And now?” she asked quietly.

“I’m wondering what it’ll feel like to bury my cock inside my sister.”

“Guess we may have to find out one day. Hopefully that day will be soon.”

I spent a lot of time cleaning my sister, though left most of her erogenous zones alone. She giggled as I tickled her, smiling away at her shrieks of laughter, unable to get away from my hands. She tried to tickle me in return, though I just held her wrists and pressed her against the wall. She got this look in her eye that I knew well, one Jessica would always get in her eye at a certain time. I cleared my throat and released her wrists as my sister washed me down instead. She spent a bit of time cleaning my cock, not exactly jerking me off, though I was rock hard by the time she washed me down.

Rebecca drove us into city, ending up parking outside one of the restaurants she’d mentioned. The place was only half-full, considering the time it was, so I was a little concerned, though she assured me the food was good and well-priced. She was right, of course, enjoying a starter before enjoying a nice steak meal. Once that was done, we shared a dessert before settling up the bill.

Neither of us having had a drink, Rebecca suggested we head towards the river as the sun went down. It sounded like a good idea, eventually parking up the car and wandering through one of the parks towards the water’s edge. Finding a seat to plonk ourselves down upon, I wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. It felt very comfortable, almost normal.

“Stevie, can I admit something?”

“Sure.”

“I really enjoyed what we did earlier, at the river after our swim. And I loved our shower together too. I haven’t laughed that much in ages.”

“I enjoyed it too. My older sister is hot.”

“My little brother has a nice cock.” I couldn’t stop the chuckle. “You do, Stevie. You ever measured it?”

“Surprisingly, no. But I’ve never had any complaints.”

“How would you feel if your older sister admitted that she wants to blow her little brother?”

“I’d feel pretty damned pleased.”

“How about right here, right now?”

I looked around, noticing only our car was parked. The park appeared deserted otherwise. The sun was slowly dipping over the horizon, so I figured we had enough light left for some shenanigans. “Okay,” I replied.

I think my sister was rather excited at the opportunity to suck my cock, as she eagerly unbuttoned then unzipped my trousers, giving me a moment to slide those and my underwear down, releasing my rapidly rising cock. I won’t lie. I was excited as my sister was.

Gently caressing the back of her head, I couldn’t help the groan that escaped my throat as my sister wasted no time making love to my cock, running her tongue up and down my shaft once, twice, three times, circling the head with her tongue before leaning forward and swallowing half of it without hesitation, continuing to use her tongue as it sent all manner of sparks up my spine.

Leaving my hand on the back of her head, and resisting the urge to thrust upwards, I left my sister to dictate the pace, already aware I wasn’t going to last too long. I’d been horny all day after what happened at the river, then the shower.

“I’m not going to last too long, Rebecca.”

I felt her mouth leave my cock, her hand continuing to stroke me. “Then cum in my mouth, Stevie.”

I felt my entire length eventually slide inside her mouth, hitting her throat. I couldn’t help groan again, bucking my hips, hearing my sister moan as I did. Her head was soon bobbing up and down on my cock, doing her best to draw the cum out of my balls. I could only roll my head back and close my eyes, groaning again. She made all manner of slurping sounds as she made love to my cock with her mouth. We had never really discussed our sex lives but I’ll tell you one thing; my sister was a mean cocksucker.

“Holy shit, I’m close,” I hissed.

Rebecca didn’t let up. In fact, she increased her pace and it wasn’t long before I felt the pressure build up in my balls where cumming would be inevitable. My sister seemed to have a sixth sense, as she made sure most of my length remained in her mouth, holding her down at the same time as I felt the first spurt of cum fire into her mouth, quickly followed by at least three or four more good spurts. My sister proved to be a real trooper, taking the whole lot in her mouth.

Sagging into the bench, my sister swallowed what I gave her before she was then kind enough to clean up my slowly deflating cock before placing it back in my underwear, zipping up then buttoning my trousers. I turned to look at her, a smile on her face as she kissed my cheek.

“Did my little brother enjoy his big sister sucking his cock?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Ah, so it’s left you a little speechless?” I nodded. “So I wonder how talented my brother is in return?”

Feeling rather eager to return the favour, I grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the car. Sitting her on the bonnet, I leaned forward to kiss her, her mouth readily accepting my tongue. I felt her hands on my back, holding me closer, wrapping her legs around me as I moved down to kiss her neck. I heard her moan into my ear. “Good, little brother,” she whispered.

She helped me out by removing her shirt while my nimble fingers quickly unhooked her bra, freeing her perfect little breasts. I had one in hand moments later, my mouth clamped around the nipple on her other at the same time. My sister lay back on the bonnet, her legs still around my waist and she dragged me down, feeling her hands ruffle my hair at the same time. I spent plenty of time enjoying her breasts, two perfect little mounds, left wondering how I’d never taken any notice of her development as we grew up.

As I suckled at her nipples, I ran my hands down her body towards her skirt, helping her shimmy out of her skirt and panties so she lay back on the bonnet of my car completely naked, my sister kicking off her thongs at the same time. As I slowly kissed my way down her body, she moved upwards so I wouldn’t have to crouch down, avoiding her cunt for a moment as I kissed and teased her groin area.

“Please don’t tease,” she whimpered, “I need your tongue.”

What my sister wants, my sister gets. Well, not always, but right now? Definitely. Tasting her for the first time was the closest I’d probably ever come to a religious experience. Sex with Jessica had been life defining at times. But that first time I licked my sisters’ cunt in a completely unbrotherly way? Despite the fact I’d just blown a load into her mouth, I was rock hard in an instant.

She kept a thin strip of hair above her lips, otherwise she was shaved bare. I gently ran my tongue up her slit and along her labia, not delving inside just yet. She groaned and tried to close her legs. I gently pushed her by the thighs, widening her legs. “Hold them wide,” I requested, feeling her hands grab under her knees. Now she was spread wide, and the thought of sliding my cock inside her was nearly overwhelming. Maybe later, right now, I want to eat my sister’s pussy. I almost laughed at the thought. How my life had changed!

Pushing my tongue as her lips parted, I teased her entrance, feeling another slight gush of liquid as she squirmed at my touch, hearing her gasp as I figured I tickled her. Not a single centimetre of her cunt remained untouched by my tongue, judging her reaction, by either her sounds or how her body moved. I used all the experience I’d gained, trying not to remember how I’d gained it, as I made love to my sister with my tongue.

Once I figured she was ready, I wet two of my fingers and gently slid them inside her. That caused her to groan rather loudly, her body arching for a moment as I immediately started to look for the right spot. And I did, my sister shouting out that I did so, smiling to myself for a moment. Then I started to lick her clit.

That got just the reaction I wanted. “Holy fucking shit, Stevie!” she yelled, looking up with my eyes as she returned her gaze. Her eyes were wild, her breathing fast but heavy as she watched me eat her out. She could only stay like that for a few seconds before she fell down on her back again, her body continuing to writhe as I started to pump my fingers into her little faster, my tongue gently running across and circling her clit, feeling her body jerk downwards, desperate for my touch.

“Can you do this for the rest of my life?” she asked in between all her other noises.

I couldn’t help chuckle, though didn’t stop what I was doing. I knew enough about women that I shouldn’t stop. She then squealed, telling me I was hitting the right spot inside her and not to stop. So I kept my focus on her clit, flicking my tongue across it faster until she grabbed my hair with both hands and practically drove her cunt into my mouth.

“So close,” she whimpered.

She was, her body writhing with everything I was doing to her, managing to keep one of her legs wide with my free hand, though her other leg was now draped over my shoulder as she continued rubbing her cunt in my face.

I gave my sister an orgasm about a minute later. It was a beautiful sight. My hand was slick with her juices as she came. It must have wracked her entire body as I felt her shudder and practically spasm, though I didn’t stop what I was doing, enjoying the fact I had brought her such pleasure. It was only when I felt her hands in my hair again, her quiet please for me to stop that I finally brought a halt to what I was doing, gently taking my fingers out of her and licking them clean as I stood up. I couldn’t help gaze at my sister as she lay sprawled naked on the bonnet of the car.

She took a couple of deep breaths before she looked at me and smiled. “We are definitely doing that again.”

“I won’t say no. My sister tastes sensational.”

Even in the low light, I noticed the blush. She held out her hands, grabbing them as she sat up, sliding forward so she could hug me. “Thank you.”

“Thanks for what?”

She looked up, the smile still on her face. “For making me feel really good, silly.”

My sister quickly started to feel the chill now that the sun had set, so quickly dressed herself, though I noticed she didn’t put on her panties. Once we were ready, we shared another quick kiss before getting in her car and drove home. After sharing a bottle of wine on the veranda, it was now very late and I think we were both ready for bed. As I was about to enter my room, Rebecca grabbed my hand and escorted me towards hers.

“You’re sleeping with me tonight, Stevie.”

“Am I?”

She let go of my hand and removed all her clothes. “Just sleeping, Stevie. I want company. Your company.” She turned to look at me and I’ll happily admit I stared at her naked body, primarily her boobs. “Been a long time since a man has looked at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“With such hunger in his eyes. You really want to fuck your older sister, don’t you?”

“The thought has crossed my mind.”

She stepped towards me, leaning up to kiss me on the lips. “Not tonight, Stevie. I’m tired.”

I couldn’t help sigh with relief. “Thank god for that. I’m knackered.”

I undressed but kept my underwear on as we slipped under the covers. Rebecca didn’t waste any time snuggling up next to me, lying one of her arms on my chest, playing with my chest hair, as she rested her head against my shoulder. She even threw one of her legs between mine. I just wrapped my arm around her, holding her tightly against me.

“This is nice,” she whispered. I just grunted a reply. “I love you, Stevie.”

I knew my sister loved me. I loved my sister. Because, well, she was my sister. And I’d always loved her. But I think she meant it differently. It sounded different when she said it.

“Love you too.”

I knew I loved her more than a brother should. Was I falling in love with her? That was the last thought on my mind before I eventually drifted off.

*****

*****

Shrieks of laughter filled the air, watching as at least a dozen kids cause havoc around the playground. I kept my eyes on one little girl of about four years old.

“Daddy! Daddy! Watch me!” she screamed, climbing the few rungs to the top of the slide. “Are you watching, Daddy?”

“I’m watching, munchkin.”

She squealed as she slid to the bottom before getting up, dusting herself down, and running around to do exactly the same thing again. As I watched her go time and again, I felt a presence nearby and eventually take a seat next to me, before the person grabbed my hand.

“None of this is real, Steven,” my wife stated rather bluntly.

“I know, Jess. Thanks for the reminder.”

“But you appear to be doing much better nowadays.”

“Thanks. Have to move on eventually, I guess.”

“Yes, but there’s moving on, and then there’s… moving on.”

“Ah, you mean what’s happening with my sister?” I glanced towards her and noticed the smile. “I didn’t plan on it, you know? But you’ve met her. You thought she was wonderful. She thought the same about you.”

“I know she did, though I still got the warning from the older sister about what she’d do to me if I hurt her little brother.” I couldn’t help laugh as I wrapped an arm around my wife, holding her close. She placed a hand on my chest, leaning up to kiss my cheek. I closed my eyes when I felt the contact. “You’ve got to let us go eventually, Steven,” she said quietly.

“I know. I’m doing my best.”

“I guess everyone deals with their grief in their own way. This is just how your brain is compressing everything.”

“Nothing wrong with wondering what my daughter would have looked like. Or wanting to enjoy some time with my wife, even if…”

“Do you remember anything when you wake up?”

“You know I do. As you said, you’re not real. So I guess this is my brain doing… something…”

“You’ll be fine, Steven. Don’t worry.” Kissing my cheek again, she got to her feet and called out to our daughter, who quickly ran towards us. “Give daddy a hug, Annabelle. We have to go.”

I hugged my daughter tightly before I got to my feet and hugged my wife. She kissed me a final time before grabbing Annabelle by the hand and they walked away. I wanted to follow them, wondering where they were going, but I couldn’t move. I then felt another hand grab mine, turning to see Rebecca next to me. She smiled and kissed my cheek.

“You’re going to be okay, Stevie.”

*****

*****

Things got a little awkward, not because either of us were ashamed or embarrassed by what we’d done. I think we both realised we were about to cross a major line by sleeping together, and I guess we were both alone with our thoughts more often than not. We still talked, but our burgeoning sexual relationship was the elephant in the room all the time.

We kept up going for a run each morning, stretching it from 5k to 10k. I headed into the city on the Monday to find a job, gaining employment by the Wednesday as a tradesman (otherwise known as a tradie.) I didn’t have to work, as I still had plenty of money that I’d brought from the UK, but I didn’t want to sit at home bored. We ate dinner together every night and enjoyed a drink most evenings, sitting back on the veranda. But while we talked a lot, and certainly cuddled a lot more, nothing of a sexual nature happened. I’m not sure why. I guess we were both still thinking. I know I was, still unsure if we should really take that next step.

As usual on Friday, we ate dinner then settled back on the couch to watch the footy. It wasn’t long until her feet were on my lap and I was massaging them without a second thought, my hands wandering up her calves and her hamstrings. Without a word of warning, she stood up and disappeared, returning a couple of minutes later naked, with only a towel and the bottle of massage oil. She dragged me to my feet, gave me one hell of a kiss, before she laid the towel down before lying on top of it.

Figuring I’d be wasting time otherwise, I took off my shirt and shorts, leaving me in just my underwear. Being naked, and with her legs spread slightly, I had a fantastic view of my sisters’ pussy, and I shouldn’t have been so surprised to see she was already a little wet, noticing her wetness increasing the longer I massaged her, and the closer I got towards her butt.

“Touch me,” she whispered.

I ignored her, of course. Instead, I savoured the feeling of finally massaging her arse, two perfect buns which I could have quite happily bit into. I didn’t bite her, at least not yet, so I made do with just kneading those two perfect little cheeks with my hands.

“That feels really good,” she moaned.

Eventually moving on from her arse, though I could have quite happily played with it all night, I massaged up her back, resting my erection between her two cheeks, feeling her wiggle her butt as I worked my way up to her shoulders, then down her arms. She was now incredibly relaxed but continued to slowly move her butt against my groin.

“Want to turn over?” I asked quietly.

I moved backwards as she quickly turned over. Her eyes bored into mine and I knew she was completely turned on, almost at my mercy. My eyes gazed down her body, her nipples hard, her breathing deep and regular, her pussy glistening, a small wet patch on the towel. Somehow, I managed to control myself and continue the massage, starting against down at her feet, moving back up her legs once again. I teased her as I moved up, gently brushing my fingers across her groin area, making sure I grazed her labia and her clit, watching her body squirm. Moving up, I then massaged her breasts, running my fingers over her nipples before gently grabbing and twisting them, watching her break into laughter as I did.

“Holy shit!” she muttered.

“What?”

“I am so turned on now, Stevie.”

I just smiled as I ran my hands back down her body once or twice before lowering myself down towards her cunt. Running my tongue up her slit, she immediately spread her legs to give me complete access, her hands grabbing my head and holding me in place. To say I devoured her would be an understatement. She was right about being turned on as I drank down whatever she had to give me. I figured she would have been happy to just have me eat her out, but after only a couple of minutes, she got to her knees and kissed me hard, her tongue immediately in my mouth as her hands looked for the waistband of my underwear. Those disappeared quickly, her hands then pushing me in the chest as I laid back, wondering if she was just going to leap on and fuck me.

Instead, she turned around, her cunt above my face as I felt one of her hands grab the base of my cock and her tongue run along my shaft. I couldn’t help the loud groan and knew I’d have to distract myself. I’d been turned on myself massaging my sister and knew I wouldn’t last too long. Thankfully my sister helped me out, lowering her cunt close enough so I could eat her out, running my tongue along her slit once again to her asshole.

“Naughty,” she said before I felt her lips wrap around my cock again, groaning as she took most of my length in her mouth, feeling her tongue do things I can’t possibly describe even now.

I teased her lips, her entrance, her clit, never focusing on one area too long, feeling her body gyrate and shudder at whatever I was doing. Despite the distraction of what I was doing, she kept sucking my cock, almost in desperation for me to cum in her mouth. Figuring I should then be a little naughtier, I focused most of my attention on her clit, knowing it would bring her to orgasm, as I started to rub my thumb against her little asshole.

“Not yet,” my sister said, “But definitely later.”

I continued to tease her, but didn’t put any pressure to actually enter her. I’m not that much of a bastard. She certainly enjoyed the sensation, continuing to press backwards against my thumb. I knew I was now completely distracting her, as though she was continuing to blow me, and blow me well, she was having to stop too often, feeling her head lie down on my body as she groaned loudly.

“Oh fuck, Stevie!” That was what I wanted to hear as I knew she was getting close. She pressed her cunt down into my mouth again as I flicked her clit with my tongue, the pressure relentless. I had no idea how I knew what to do to get my sister off but it was working a treat. Holding her body against mine, she was practically rubbing her cunt against my face, covering it in her juices. Then she started to shudder and she moaned loudly.

“Fuck me, Stevie…” I’m not sure she meant fuck her as in fuck her, but we were approaching the end game anyway. Instead, she nearly screamed as the orgasm overcame her and she collapsed onto my chest, her legs dangling either side of my head. I stopped what I was doing, giving her a chance to relax. She took about thirty seconds, then immediately starting to blow me again.

“I’m getting what I want too, Stevie.”

I finished in her mouth a couple of minutes later. I didn’t know much about her sex life prior to her marriage, or even when we both became sexually active as we matured, but my sister could give one hell of a blowjob. Once she’d taken a load into her mouth and swallowed it, leaving me feeing like a pool of jello and on the verge of passing out, she turned around and collapsed on my chest again, kissing the tip of my nose.

Without a word, she got to her feet, grabbed my hand, dragging me to mine, before escorting me to the bathroom. “We need a shower before bed,” she explained, turning on the water. There was a bit of cleaning, a lot of making out and plenty of cuddling and laughing before we finally got out. We then ended up in her bed, continuing to make out but we still didn’t make that final step. My sister blew me again, something I definitely wasn’t going to complain about, while I made her cum twice more with fingers or tongue before she finally cried enough for the night, cuddling into me and falling asleep practically straight away.

We drove to our father’s on Sunday, already a tradition for either a roast dinner or a good old fashioned barbeque. We arrived mid-afternoon, Dad and Kerrie sitting on the veranda with a drink, the three kids running amok in the backyard. Rebecca and I joined the parents, each of us with a beer, and we passed the time chatting about inconsequential crap. Dad got the grill going as dusk started, leaving Kerrie with my sister and I, the three kids having headed inside.

Once Dad was out of earshot, Kerrie dragged her chair closer to us. “So… How long has it been going on?”

I tried to avoid my sisters gaze, while attempting to look as innocent as possible. “How long has what, Kerrie?”

Kerrie just laughed. “Your father would be far too oblivious, or would never believe his two eldest kids would do it. But I can see how you two are looking at each other. So, how long?”

I looked at Rebecca. She just smiled and grabbed my hand. “A few weeks now,” she said.

“Are you actually having sex?”

“Not exactly,” I replied.

“But we will soon enough,” my sister added.

Kerrie just smiled. “Well, you both look far happier now. Certainly understandable for you, Steven. But you look like a new woman too, Rebecca. Just be careful, the both of you.”

“You’re not angry or upset?” I asked, unable to hide the surprise at her reaction.

“You care for each other, love each other, whether as siblings or something more, and have certainly helped each other through difficult times. It’s not terribly surprising you’ve found something in each other.” I looked at Rebecca again, who dazzled me with a smile. Kerrie was right. I’d certainly found something in her. I guess I figured I could love someone again. “Just be careful with your father. I’m not sure how he’d react. And I’d keep it very quiet around the kids. They won’t understand.”

“We’ll be careful, Kerrie,” I said.

“Your secret is safe with me until you do say something.” She then hugged us both and that sealed the deal.

I moved into my sisters’ bedroom during the next week, though we kept the spare bedroom as if I was still in there. We rose together, went for our run, showered on our return, usually together, before driving separately to work. We finished at roughly the same time, meeting at home, where we’d cook dinner together, watch a little television, read a book or use a laptop, then we’d head to bed. Halfway through the week, my sister cuddled into me after I’d spent around an hour with my face between her legs.

“Saturday, Stevie. By the river.”

“What?”

“The river, Stevie. That’s where we did all our firsts. First real kiss. First time your fingers were inside me. First time I blew you. First time you at me out. I think we should head there on Saturday, with a blanket, and maybe a picnic, and then you can fuck me.”

“Okay.”

There was nothing else to say. It was a bloody good idea.

Of course, I couldn’t really concentrate for the next two days at work. My new boss could see I was distracted, fobbing him off by suggesting it was a particular date regarding the ex-wife. I hated using the excuse, but couldn’t possibly say it was because I was looking forward to fucking my sister on the weekend.

Friday night was the usual massage special. How we didn’t end up fucking on the living room floor, I’ll never know. We ended up naked, both of us having a couple of orgasms, and somehow I didn’t end up sliding my cock inside her. Or she didn’t leap on me and slide down on it. I know we were both desperate to fuck, but once we both came, those thoughts disappeared, at least for a few minutes. We continued our activities in bed, still holding back from each other. I guess we were building up the anticipation. I laughed to myself, thinking no matter how many times I came that night, I’d still not last longer than a couple of minutes the first time I fucked her.

Saturday was awkward. It was always going to be. I was a bundle of nerves, and I know my sister was too. At least awkwardness led to plenty of laughter, each of us making fun of the other as we bumped into each other in the kitchen, those half-smiles and looks we were now always sharing.

I drove us to the river just before midday, thankful that the small area to park was empty and the bank was devoid of any life. We placed the blanket and basket of food on the ground before we stripped down to our swimmers, heading straight into the water as the heat was picking up with summer fast approaching. Of course, both of us were already covered in sunscreen, having applied it rather liberally to each other before leaving the house. I think we were so liberal both of us were rather turned on by the time we got in the car.

The water was refreshing as we splashed each other like a couple of kids. We stayed close enough to the shore so we could touch the bottom and it wasn’t long until my sister swam towards me, wrapped her arms around my neck, her legs around my waist, smiled and then kissed me. It wasn’t long before the kiss was rather hot and heavy and she was grinding herself into my groin, unsurprised that I was hard in seconds thanks to the kiss alone.

“So I guess we’re fucking before we’re eating?” I asked once we both came up for breath.

“Fucking is like swimming, Stevie. You shouldn’t do it on a full stomach.” She kissed me again before adding, “And I want you to fuck me now. We’ve waited long enough; don’t you think?”

Rhetorical question, so I simply carried her out of the water towards the blanket, lying her down and removing her bikini in seconds. I removed my shorts, my cock standing proudly at attention, my sister reaching forward and grabbing it, pulling me on top of her, her lips eager to feel mine again. As we made out, I blindly guided my cock towards her entrance, running it up and down her slit, making her break the kiss as she gasped.

“Go slow. It’s been a long time since I’ve had something so big inside me.”

“My sister says the nicest things to me sometimes.”

She cracked up in laughter, helping relieve a little bit of the tension I knew we were both feeling about making this step. Then she smiled at me again, running a hand through my hair. “I love you, Stevie. And I want you inside me.”

So I gave my sister what she wanted. Sliding my cock inside her was one of the best moments of my life, looking into her eyes and smiling in return. I was careful, not just thrusting all the way at once. She was wet, very wet, but she was also tight. I don’t much about biology, maybe I was bigger than I thought, but it took longer than I expected to get my cock all the way in. She closed her eyes, gasped and moaned, with each thrust before smiling once she felt out pelvic bones meet.

“Stevie?”

“Yeah?”

“I just want you to fuck me. I want my brother to fuck me. If you last two minutes or ten, I just want to feel you cum inside me.” Okay, that’s probably the hottest thing my sister could ever say to me. “You know I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. We’ll worry about getting me off afterwards. You’ve made me cum plenty as it is.”

“I love you.”

The smile she returned melted my heart. “I love you too.” She gently pressed her lips against mine before leaning up to whisper in my ear, “Now fuck me already!”

The sensations I felt around my cock, my sisters’ cunt warm, wet and ready for me, were something else entirely. She immediately wrapped her legs around me, groaning and adding something about me being even deeper as I slowly thrust, building up speed. I tried to keep kissing her as I fucked her, but the quicker I got, the more difficult it was. Eventually I just planted my hands on the blanket, feeling her hands run up my arms and down my back. As I’ve said, I wasn’t the most muscular guy in the world, though she still complimented me on my arms and back.

“You fuck your sister quite well, Stevie,” she moaned, “Keep going. I want to feel you cum.”

She wasn’t going to have to wait too long. My sister could suck cock like a porn star, but there was something else about her cunt that made me want to cum really fast. Maybe it was the whole taboo thing? Maybe it was the connection we had? Maybe it was the fact I was definitely falling in love with her? I don’t know what it was. All I know is that, while I was fucking her, I didn’t give a single thought to my life back in the UK or anything that had happened. All thoughts were about the woman underneath me.

Soon enough, I was feeling that sensation all men feel when they know they are about to cum. I warned my sister, almost a last chance to back out of me cumming inside her. All she did was hook her feet behind me and say, “I said cum inside me.” I was doing my best to hold back as long as possible, but what we were doing was so naughty, and she felt so good, and looked wonderful underneath me, that I couldn’t keep going forever.

“Close,” I muttered.

My sister responded by kissing me. That pretty much sealed the deal, another half dozen or so thrusts before I broke the kiss and groaned, thrusting deep inside my sister as I felt the first eruption. Did it feel good? By the time I was done, I nearly collapsed on top of her, hearing my sister giggle as I swore to the heavens that I loved my sister, resting just above her on my forearms as I sucked in a series of deep breaths.

“Good?” I asked.

She kissed my cheek. “My brother just blasted inside me. I feel fantastic.”

I met her eyes. “All these feelings are relatively new, right?”

“They are. Though I’ve always thought my little brother was cute, in a purely platonic sort of way.”

I breathed an internal sigh of relief. I’m not sure I could have dealt with a long life declaration of love. “Mine too. Though I’ve always thought the same about my older sister.”

We stayed connected as my cock refused to deflate too much, not a real surprise as I was still very turned on. Just the thought of fucking my sister was mind-blowing. The fact I was actually doing it was something else entirely. My sister made no suggestion or move to dislodge my cock either, figuring she still wanted to get off too.

I eventually ended up on my back, my sister straddling me, rubbing her pussy as my semi-hard cock rested against me. It only took a few minutes before I was at full hardness once again. Rebecca grabbed the base of my cock and I watched it slowly disappear inside her. I knew I smiled as my sister giggled once I was all the way in.

“Like what you see, Stevie?” she breathed.

“My cock is currently inside my hot older sister. Of course I do!”

“Lie back and enjoy, Stevie. All you need to do is supply a hard dick. Though if you want to feel me up, knock yourself out.”

As she mixed up bouncing up and down with grinding against me, I moved my hands from her waist to her boobs. I gently squeezed them before tweaking her nipples, not too hard but she enjoyed it, watching a shudder flow down her spine. I kept massaging them as she slowly picked up her tempo. Considering I’d recently cum, I wasn’t worried about finishing again anytime soon, so was left wondering how often my sister may cum on my cock.

“Ooh, that’s hitting the right spot, Stevie. Your cock was made for my cunt.”

“All the reason to keep fucking me then.”

She placed both hands on my chest and I noticed this rather carnal look enter her eyes. And then she rode me! I moved hands from her boobs to her hips and watched my cock disappear and reappear, her cunt hungry for my cock. Leaning forward, her lips sought mine, her tongue immediately entering my mouth, another hot and heavy kiss, groaning into my mouth as I think my cock was now definitely hitting the right spot.

“Right there, Stevie. Right there.”

I think that was the signal for me to do some of the work, moving my hands from her waist to her arse, bending my legs slightly and starting to meet her downward movements. She moaned again, breaking the kiss as she just stared into my eyes, a slightly smile on her face. Her eyes closed again as she whispered, “Fuck me.” I don’t think she meant fuck her, I think she meant I was doing a good job. And she was very much enjoying riding me.

“Play with me, Stevie.”

I knew what she meant, leaving my left hand on her arse as I starting to play with her clit, only gently flicking or rubbing it, but enough to really get her going. “Holy shit, Stevie!” She was now grinding rather than bouncing on my cock, and I knew enough about her body already to realise she was getting close to an orgasm. And I had a feeling she was holding back in an effort to make it a big one.

She collapsed onto my chest and I wrapped my arms around her. “Fuck me, Stevie,” she whispered into my ear, “I’m going to cum any second.”

She was right, moaning and swearing into my ear as I fucked her senseless, feeling her body shudder as the orgasm ripped through her body. I continued to hold her and fuck her, my sister near yelling at me to keep going. She’d barely come down from her first orgasm when she suddenly sat up, hands once again pressed into my chest as she met my thrusts with her own downward movement. Within a couple of minutes, her eyes practically rolled back in her head as her mouth opened into a silent ‘o’, and I think this one was even bigger. I actually stopped as I watched her body shake before she collapsed onto me, this being the final time, holding her once again as she occasionally shuddered.

“Holy shit!” she muttered in between her deep breathing. She lifted herself up and I felt my cock slide free. “Can’t handle it. Way too much after that second one, Stevie,” she added with a giggle.

“So, that was the final line crossed then.”

She lifted her head to meet my eyes. “You’re not…”

I kissed the tip of her nose. “Never. Just stating a fact,” I added, ensuring I smiled at the same time.

“Give me a few minutes to get over the fact my brother just gave me two brilliant orgasms, and I think we should eat.”

“Good. Because I’m starving!”

We ate naked, my sister giggling away, stating cum was leaking out of her. “How much did you leave inside me, Stevie?” she wondered. I could only shrug.

“My sister turned me on.”

After eating, we headed back into the river, just sitting in the water and cooling off, the sun high in the sky and beating down on us. Rebecca cuddled into me as we sat in near silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable. We were, for intents and purposes, a couple in all but name, and could probably take a correct guess at what the other was thinking.

“We should head home and fuck some more, Stevie. It would be nice if you could fuck me in our bed.”

So that’s what we did. I just put on my shorts, my sister her skirt and shirt, neither of us bothering with underwear, as we packed up everything else. I had us home in record time, dumping everything in the kitchen before we headed to the bathroom. My sister stripped along the way, my shorts left in the hallway.

We fucked the rest of the day and night, stopping only to have dinner, before heading straight back to the bedroom. It was a good day.

Did our lives change going forward immediately after that day? Not particularly. Apart from the fact we as siblings were now involved in a committed and sexual relationship, we never gave anyone else the indication we were anything but a brother and sister who just lived together and appeared to enjoy spending time together.

We fucked or made love nearly every day. Half the time we ignored going for a morning run, choosing to fuck each other silly before heading off to work. We’d occasionally meet up for a quickie in one of our cars for lunch, while we rarely missed a night of action. Only Kerrie knew what was going on, and as far as we were aware, she never told a soul, not even our father. I’m not sure whether the old man was completely oblivious, but he made no mention of what was happening between us.

Rebecca and I were now definitely in love. It was different to Jessica. It would always be different. Rebecca was my sister and I’d known her my entire life. We had the bond siblings shared in addition to the sexual relationship we now added. I still couldn’t exactly why we had found love with each other. Perhaps we were both damaged at the time and found something in each other. All I know is that we loved each other very much and, I think, would be quite happy spending the rest of our lives together.

Around four months after that first time, I was sitting back on the couch reading a book when my sister wandered in, taking a seat next to me. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. Looking up from my book, I noticed the enormous smile on her face.

“What’s up?” I asked.

She took a deep breath before she said three words. “Stevie, I’m pregnant.”

*****

*****

It was rather apt that we appeared to be standing in the departure lounge of an airport. There weren’t many people around, though my attention was focused on the woman and child standing next to me.

“This is it, Steven.”

“I know, Jessica. But it’s for the best.”

“Of course it is, Steven. It’s taken you a while to get here, but I knew you would eventually.”

“I still don’t particularly want to let you go.”

My wife turned to me and smiled, laying a hand on my chest. “We’ll always be here, Steven.” Then she moved her hand to my temple. “But you have to let us go from here.”

I grabbed her hand and kissed her palm, dragging her in and holding her close. “I miss you,” I whispered.

“I know, Steven.” She leaned back and then kissed me. I closed my eyes and savoured it. Opening my eyes, she was smiling. “I love you.”

I got down on one knee as Annabelle clung to her mother. I opened my arms as she stepped forward, holding her tightly against me. I closed my eyes again and did everything I could to hold back the tears. There was a garbled announcement, and Jessica said it was time for them to go.

“I’ll see you soon, Annabelle.”

“Not too soon though, Steven,” my wife warned as I hugged my daughter.

I kissed her forehead as she took her mother’s hand. I kissed Jessica for the final time. “Not too soon, Jess. If the place exists, I’ll see you there in around fifty years’ time.”

I watched the last ever smile I would see form. “I’ll hold you to that one, dear husband.”

“I love you.”

Jessica looked down at Annabelle. “Time to go, munchkin. Wave goodbye to Daddy.”

My daughter waved as the pair turned and walked towards the gate. There was no-one else waiting, my wife opening the door, stepping into a bright white light. The pair turned back a final time, my daughter waving, my wife blowing me a kiss, before they stepped through and the door closed behind them.

I stood there by myself for a couple of minutes before I felt a hand take mine. “How are you, Stevie?”

I glanced at my sister. “I’m doing just fine, Rebecca. Come on, we should go home.”

*****

*****

Epilogue

We couldn’t keep our relationship a secret, not once Rebecca was in what I called ‘pregnancy mode’. We tried a test run by heading to Melbourne to see Mum. We’d only seen her the once since I’d returned home, and while we talked occasionally on the phone, I would say neither of us had a close relationship with the woman.

She reacted just as I expected, my sister leaving the house in floods of tears, while the only thing that stopped me hitting my mother is the fact I was told to never hit a woman. Because, I’ll tell you something, I was ready to knock her out after what she called my sister. She told us that she never wanted to see either of us again, particularly if we went through with the pregnancy. I didn’t hesitate in telling the woman to fuck off as I walked out of her house.

We never saw her again.

After that, we hesitated in telling Dad, but knew we’d have to tell him eventually, particularly once it was obvious that Rebecca was with child. We eventually bit the bullet at the six-month mark, sitting down with the pair after the traditional Sunday dinner. Kerrie had known something was up for a while. We’d let slip that we were definitely fucking, though she knew that was always going to happen.

“Dad. Kerrie. I… We have something to tell you,” my sister started, waiting until she had their full attention before adding, “I’m pregnant.”

Kerrie just smiled. Dad looked shocked, before composing himself, leaning forward and asking, “Who’s the father?”

I cleared my throat. Shuffled in my seat. Grabbed Rebecca by her hand. “I am, Dad.” The eyes widened a little. His lips thinned into a grimace. Then he finally nodded slowly for a few seconds before he got to his feet and disappeared inside. I got nervous immediately. “Um…”

“Well, at least he didn’t start shouting,” my sister said.

“Congratulations,” Kerrie said quietly.

I almost shat myself when Dad walked back out of the house, holding one of his rifles. I knew it well, as it was the same one he used to shoot roo’s. He placed it on the table before fixing us with a glare.

“Don’t be a bloody idiot, Nate!” Kerrie said.

“I just want a couple of answers, Kez. That’s all.” He looked between my sister and I, then chuckled as we no doubt both looked frightened. “Steven, what are your intentions with my daughter?”

I looked at Rebecca, obviously looking confused instead of terrified. “What do you mean, Dad?”

“I mean, if you’re going down this road, and considering she has a bun in the oven, I’m guessing it’s serious. But I don’t want either of you on my doorstep in five years’ time if it goes tits up. This is completely on you.”

“We’re in love, Dad,” I said.

He obviously looked at my sister. “I’m in love with him,” she added.

Dad looked between us in silence for a couple of minutes, judging our sincerity, our body language. I kept hold of her hand, feeling her squeeze mine every few seconds. Then he cleared his throat and relaxed. “Very well. This is rather hard to accept. You’re my children, and this is something we’re told from a young age that is completely wrong. But, you’re both adults and it’s a free country, to a point, so you can do what you want. Just know you can never tell anyone else.”

“We know, Dad,” I said.

“But I can also understand, after what you’ve both been through, why you’ve found love with each other. Plus, my daughter is about to give me a grandchild. Is everything okay there?”

I looked at my sister. Her smile was wide. “Everything’s just fine, Dad.”

She gave birth to a healthy baby boy at eight and a half months. Four fingers and thumb on each hand, five toes on each foot. My sister was confident he was going to grow up looking just like his father. We had argued over what we’d name him, as I was thinking something like Wayne or Bruce. Proper ocker Aussie names. We eventually settled on Michael, just so I could call him Mick.

Proving I had very good swimmers, or my sister was rather fertile, once we were allowed to start fucking again after she’d given birth, she was pregnant within weeks. Kerrie burst into laughter when we arrived at their house a few months later to let them know. Our father was slowly but surely accepting our relationship, and even he couldn’t hold back the chuckle.

Rebecca gave birth to twin girls after nine months, both completely healthy and would likely be dead ringers for their mother once they got a little older. The first born, by all of fifteen minutes, we named Melanie. The second born, we named Emilia.

With three kids, the next thing I did was propose to my sister. She thought I was nuts, but once I suggested it was possible, considering she had retained her married name, she was on board. We married in a small ceremony two months after she’d given birth. No-one in town knew of our relationship, or if they did, they kept their mouths shut. The only people at the wedding were our parents and siblings, who were now aware of our relationship and warned not to say a word.

Not wanting any more children, I was sent to get the old snip-snip. With a household of children, we definitely needed somewhere bigger, eventually moving into a rather isolated homestead about twenty minutes away from Dad in the opposite direction. It meant longer journey times to work, but the house was fantastic, incredibly well priced and the perfect place to raise children.

We quickly settled in a routine as we raised them, working as a team, ensuring the household ran well. Rebecca was quite happy to stay at home full-time until all the kids were at school. And we always made sure we made time for each other, reading horror stories of new parents and the collapse of relationships. We occasionally went through a dry spell, but it was amazing what dumping the three kids at our fathers and an afternoon down by the river would accomplish. Hell, appetites for each other would be sated for the next week after a riverside session, where we’d practically fuck like rabbits for hours until we were both sore. Kerrie always knew what we were up to, stating my sister always has a satisfied look on her face when we returned to pick up our kids.

Aware we’d have to tell the kids the truth, we sat down with our son not long after his 18^th birthday. I handed him a beer, keeping one for myself, sitting next to my sister.

“Mick, we have something to tell you.”

“Sounds serious, Dad. What is it?”

“What do you know about incest?”

His face screwed up. “Ugh, do you think I’m interested in my sisters?”

I looked at my sister and we burst into laughter. “Probably a natural reaction for most people, Stevie.”

“No, Mick, we’re not suggesting you’re interested in Mel or Emy.” I grabbed my sister by the hand. “But your mother and I are siblings. Your mother is my sister. I’m her brother.”

The jaw dropped wide. “Whoa… No shit?”

“No shit, Mick.”

My sister and I noticed he looked uncomfortable at the revelation. He asked one or two questions but, after a couple of minutes, we let him go away with his thoughts. It took a long time for him to come to terms with the truth, and it was probably good for him that he left for university a month later. When he returned home for the holidays, we sat down and explained further why my sister and I had ended up together. He was surprised to hear we had both been married before and that I had lived in the UK for many years. Before he left to return to university, he hugged us both and said he loved us. I knew that was his way of telling us he accepted and understood the truth.

Then there were the twins, two drop dead gorgeous young women, younger versions of their mother. My sister and I were lying back one evening after another round of lovemaking when she dropped what I would consider a bombshell.

“Stevie, I think we may have a problem when telling our daughters.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Being their father, you would be rather oblivious to certain things about them.”

“Well, I know neither of them has a boyfriend at the moment. Come to think of it, I can’t remember them really ever mentioning boys.”

“I think they’re still virgins.”

“Really?” My sister nodded. “I find that surprising. I would have been sure boys would have been lining up to date them.”

“I have a feeling the boys at school wouldn’t interest them. I think they have their eyes an older man.”

“Oh. And who would that be?” My sister just turned and looked at me. It took a few seconds for me to understand, before I just said, “Fuck off!” My sister just giggled as I asked, “Seriously?”

“You wouldn’t notice how they act because you’re their father. I’d suggest a little experiment. For the next week, look at them how you would look at me, and watch how they act around you. Surprisingly, they’re rather subtle in their affection with you, which is why I don’t think you’d notice. Plus, they have to be careful, because they are not completely aware of our relationship.”

I experimented for the entire week and my sister was one hundred percent right. I wouldn’t exactly call what my daughters did flirting, but they left me in no doubt they found their father… desirable. To say that was a mindfuck would only scratch the surface of what I was left thinking. The next Saturday, lying in bed with my sister, after spending the night between her legs, we discussed what we should do. To say my sister stunned me by what she suggested next was an understatement.

“I think we should talk to them. First, we tell them about our relationship. Then we talk to them about their desires.”

“Are you sure?” She nodded. “Tomorrow?” She nodded again. I sighed. “Okay.”

The reaction of our daughters differed significantly to our son. They didn’t care one little bit. Emilia added, “In fact, that’s kinda hot, the fact our father is fucking his sister.”

“Yeah, in fact, that just makes us even more jealous, Dad,” Melanie said.

I looked at my sister. “Looks like you were right.”

My sister just leaned forward and asked, “Girls, are you attracted to your father?”

“God yes!” Emilia replied.

Melanie leaned forward and said quietly, “I’d love for him to be my first, Mum.”

I could only lean back in my chair, run a hand down my face before I started to laugh. “Dear god, not only am I married to and fucking my sister, now my daughters want a piece of me too?”

“Does that upset you, Mum?” Emilia asked, both girls now concerned that the truth was out.