I hope you enjoy the story. I look forward to your feedback, and would appreciate your rating the story after you’ve finished.
I look across the small space between us, looking deep into Ciara’s beautiful green eyes, and say, “I do!” There is only joy and happiness in my heart as I look at her beautiful face. Framed by her tight golden curls. She is as breathtaking today as the first time I saw her walking into my life.
“Natalia and Ciara, you may kiss your bride!” Pausing for our kiss, he continues, “Ciara and Natalia, may you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you, Mrs. and Mrs. Ciara and Natalia Giordano.”
And with that simple statement, I am married to the woman I love. The woman that completes me in every sense of the word. But this was not necessarily destined to be. Our path to this moment was complicated. Our life together almost didn’t happen…
*****
2 Years Earlier:
June
*****
Monday morning, the beginning of a new week. For me, it is my first day on the new job. Straight out of college. To say I am excited would be an understatement. Technically, it isn’t my first day with the company as I had worked an internship with them last summer. But this was my first full-time adult job! Look ma, the training wheels are off! I’m adulting!
The company provides specialized software for medical labs. And, I have landed a job on one of the development teams. It is the same team that I had worked with as an intern, so lucky me, I will go in knowing everyone on the team. Being the newest junior developer on the team, I know I still have a lot to learn beyond what knowledge I’d gained in school and as an intern. The good news is I already know the tools they use, am comfortable with their source management system, get along with the people on my team and understand the process the team uses to define, design, build, test and move code into production.
New town, adult job, and nowhere to go but up! I am on a roll!
I get myself out of bed early, heading out for a light run and then back to my apartment, getting ready so that I can head into the office. ‘Head into the office’, after four years of hitting the books, it feels good to say that! The office is casual dress unless you have client meetings. I decide on a nice pair of jeans that flatter my long legs, and a green silk blouse that draws out the color of my eyes. Pulling my hair together, I throw it in a ponytail for the day and I’m out the door, taking part of the daily ritual of rush hour.
I pull up to the office about twenty minutes early. Ok, maybe my nerves were a little wound and l might just be a little on edge. Anyhow, I make it into the lobby and take a seat, noticing others doing the same. Seems like there were going to be several of us on-boarding today.
Promptly at 8:30AM, Anna from Human Resources walks into the lobby. Anna was only a few years older than me, and we had become friends over the previous summer. I was thrilled to see she would be the one getting me thru the day. Again, someone I know – this was calming my nerves.
“Good morning, everyone.” Anna began the proceedings. “My name is Anna Klien and I’ll be working with you today. To get you acclimated to the company. If you’ll follow me back this way, we’ll get you all setup in one of our training rooms and then we’ll start working thru everything. You’ve made a great decision to join us and I’m thrilled to welcome you today!”
With that she walks thru the door leading away from the lobby with about a dozen people following her. As we get to the conference room, she stands by the door, greeting each of us by name and thanking us for joining the team. As I approach her, she skips the handshake and gives me a quick hug.
“Hey Nat, so glad you made the decision to come back and work with us full-time. It’s going to be good to catch up with you.”
“Thanks, Anna! I’m pretty excited about my new grown-up job.” I give a light laugh and continue on, “Maybe we can catch up over lunch or drinks at the end of the day?”
She replies with a big smile, “We’ll work out the details on break. Gotta keep things moving along.”
As I walk in, I notice that they have cards with our names written on them, signifying where each of us is to sit. I quickly find my place and settle in for the presentation. In front of each of us is a new laptop, keyboard, mouse, insulated travel coffee mug, a company shirt (in the right size), bone conduction headset and a high-end wireless speaker. During Anna’s presentation, I learn that the laptop, keyboard and mouse would be returned to the company if we ever choose to leave, but that the rest of the goodies are ours to keep. Swag on the first day, gotta love that!
The day is filled with presentations on the company benefits, selection of said benefits, a couple of sessions learning about the company history and corporate culture, a session on the tool they use to identify personality and communication types and how to use that to drive successful communications as well as introductions to the CEO and all of the company senior executives. With the CEO talking about his vision for the company over the next five years and each of the execs talking about what their departments do and why it is important to the mission of the company. In between sessions, Anna and I have agreed to head out for drinks after work and catch up on life. I have to admit the on-boarding process is pretty slick. At the end of the day, the manager for each person in the room arrives and greets their new employee/employees and escorts each of us to where we will be working in the building.
I am familiar with my boss, John Venner. He has been with the company for around ten years and managed me and another intern on his team last year. I like the guy; he is honest and direct without being an ass. In my book, that counts for something. I always know where I stand with him.
Last summer, he always let me know when I was doing a good job or if he was frustrated with something that I was doing. He didn’t hide it, he let me know immediately and would talk me through what I needed to do to address the issue. Never once did he belittle me for making a mistake or for the fact that I was one of the few women that worked in his department. He truly took an interest in me. And he proved it last summer, making sure that I knew I could do this job and that he and the team were there to support me. He helped me understand the difference between coding in school and coding in the real-world.
As we are leaving the conference room, he jokes with me. “So, you’ve decided to come back for more? Not sure that’s a wise move on your part Giordano.”
“Well, how could I not come back and work for this team. You guys need me. Admit it! I only accepted the job and came back here because all of you were moping around when I headed back to school. I knew if I didn’t agree to come back, you’d all go into depression, and nothing would get done. I couldn’t bear to let that happen!” If he could dish it out, I was going to try and serve it back.
“So that’s how it’s going to be, eh! Ok, we’ll see who comes crawling to me for help.” He continues, “Are we going to place the standard bet and say you’ll be in my cube asking for help before the end of the day tomorrow?” John has a gig going in the department, $1 bets on stupid stuff. It doesn’t really matter who wins or looses, as the money all goes into a jar and then its used at some point to offset the tab when the team does a night out together.
“Bet’s on, sir!”
We round the corner and I see familiar faces from last summer. They’re all waiting for me, gathered up at the end of the set of pods that the team occupies. As I approach the group, carrying all my stuff, they let me thru to set my things down at the end cube and then begin shaking my hand or giving me hugs. It truly feels good to be a permanent part of the team! The rest of the day is pretty-well shot with the team and I chatting about my last year of school and catching up with each other. John had brought in a bunch of treats, so we share cookies, cupcakes and stories with each other.
At the end of the day, I lock up all the stuff in my cabinet and I head out to meet Anna at one of the local sports bars, Danny’s. The place is normally about a ten-minute drive from the office. Even with rush hour traffic, I am there in fifteen. Anna and I had been here several times the previous summer. We both liked it because it was a traditional Irish pub and they had an outdoor patio where we could sit in the sun while having a few drinks while relaxing. Since it was a gorgeous day, I find a spot on the patio and settle in while enjoying the weather.
Anna arrives shortly after I’m seated. As she approaches, I stand, giving her a little hug and then drop back into my seat. Anna sits next to me and we began chatting.
“So, you’ve graduated and are a full-blown adult. How’s that feeling for you?”
“Anna last year was tough, but fun. My advanced classes were brutal. To maintain my four-oh required a lot of work. Throw in the fact that I had a part-time job off campus and a research job on campus, there wasn’t a lot of room to relax. But in the free moments I did find, I had a lot of fun. Especially second semester when my class load finally lightened up.”
Right then, I see our waitress approaching and I literally must catch my breath. She is, in a single word, stunning. She’s a few inches shorter than my 5’7″ frame, with a thick head of tightly curled blonde hair – ringlets, with light red highlights barely visible throughout. The hair pouring over her shoulders, resting comfortably on her breasts, which are slightly bigger than mine. Not a high bar to cross as I have smallish B cup breasts. Her deep green eyes are filled with laughter, and she has a huge smile that draws you in to her full lips, looking as if they are made of soft clouds. Her little button nose and dimples adding dimension to her face. She’s wearing a tight tee, sans bra, that does nothing to hide her firm breasts and the fact that she has very thick nipples that stretch out against the material of her shirt. Her tee stops just short of a pair of frayed jean shorts that both display a small strip of skin above the waistband, below her shirt, and her very firm and well-defined legs. The curves outlining her frame were captivating, her slim figure still gives you the impression of an hourglass figure, absolutely stunning. She has a slight bounce in her step as she approaches the table, smiling at me the whole way.
“Hey, I’m Ciara, I’ll be serving you tonight.” She announced. Besides her flat-out beauty, she speaks with a slight Irish accent that I immediately find to be exotic. Along with the accent there was a distinct rolling of the r when she announced her name. “What can I get for you?”
Anna spoke first and ordered her drink, a glass of Chardonnay. I then ordered a Black Cherry White Claw. Sitting there, I had the pleasure of watching Ciara retreat to get our drinks. Her backside was just as enticing. Her legs leading up to a cute little butt. Her hair dropping down to the middle of her back, bouncing with each step. I watched her tiny little ass sway as she walked back into the bar.
“Earth to Nat, you there?” Anna was trying to get my attention.
“Oh, sorry, just had something on my mind.”
“Yeah, you did. Wouldn’t happen to have been that cute little waitress that just took our order, would it?” She was laughing as she finished her sentence. Anna knew that I was a lesbian, so she didn’t have to guess too hard at where my attention had been for the last few minutes.
“Couldn’t help it, did you take a look at her. Holy crap, she’s gorgeous!”
“Nat, I’m not gay, but yes, I noticed our little waitress was kinda cute.” Again, laughing as she answered my question.
“Kinda cute is understating it. By. A. Whole. Lot.” I exaggerate with hand movements. “I literally felt my breath taken away when I first saw her approach the table. Wow, that’s going to take some getting used to.”
“Settle down.” She began to tease me. “You just saw this woman and you’re already starting to make plans in that pretty little brain of yours. Backup from the ledge and try to act like the adult you actually are! Remember, you’re no longer a teenager with hormones dictating your actions.”
“Anna, can’t help it. That is one very attractive woman, I at least am going to need to try and make a move.” I shot back.
Anna just laughed at me. “You can stop looking now.”
A few minutes later Ciara appears again, stepping through the door, bringing our drinks to the table. “So, here you go girls. Can I get you anything else right now?” I was mesmerized by her voice, the rolling of the r’s. The emphasis on certain words and syllables was different than American English. We both shook our heads and told her that was all we needed at the moment.
Anna and I continue to talk about my last year at college and she fills me in on some of the gossip in the office. Meanwhile, I’m stealing glances at our waitress. Knowing Anna, she is only telling me stuff I would hear from others, as she always does a good job of walling off the HR only stuff in her life. We easily chat for a few hours, with Ciara visiting us regularly, telling us at one point it was a slow night and she was slightly bored.
We find out that Ciara has also just moved into town. She had moved to the States with her parents when she was 11, her dad landing a job at a large investment firm in New York. She has just transferred to the university here in town and was working at the bar to have something to do. Her uncle apparently owns the place. She had originally chosen a smaller college closer to home, because that’s where her boyfriend got a scholarship to play football. When the relationship ended last semester, she decided that she needed to get some distance between them and so chose to leave after the semester finished and enrolled at the U here in town. Apparently, her folks never liked the boyfriend, so they were more than supportive when she broke off the relationship and told them she wanted to transfer.
Since we’re both new in town, she suggests maybe hanging out sometime and exploring the town together. Ok, I wasn’t necessarily new in town because I had been here last summer, but I wasn’t going to turn her down. I readily accepted, as I saw Anna rolling her eyes and giving me a wink. We agree to meet up on Sunday for lunch (she was going to need to sleep in after closing the bar) and then to explore some of the parks with trails here in town. She takes my cell phone and plugs in her number so that we can contact each other if something comes up.
Sunday
I lazily lay in bed enjoying the morning sun. As I reflect on my week, it has been awesome. I’ve settled into the job and I am really enjoying the team. I ended up losing the bet with John, so my first contribution to the bet jar had been made. There is an easy banter that flows within the team as people work thru the day. Intense periods of quiet time while people are cranking out code, occasionally interrupted as someone hits some problem and then intense conversations between two or more of us as we work the problem. Not only am I initiating some of those conversations, but I’ve been able to help solve some of the issues.
I grab my phone and notice that Ciara had left me a message around 3AM. Letting me know that she was still on to meet up today. A smile crosses my face as I see her message. I had genuinely enjoyed the conversation with her on Monday. One, it seems like we have some things in common. Two, I enjoyed listening to her voice and the way that she spoke. Three, she’s hot. The only negative in the equation right now for me is that she had mentioned her ex-boyfriend. That means she’s playing for the other team, so I’m going to need to settle for friendship. I’m happy with friend, I think. Outside of work, I really don’t know anyone here, so no time like the present to start changing that, if something works out beyond that, bonus!
I decide a run is in order to start the day, so I roll out of bed and do my minimal morning routine and head on out. It’s gorgeous and I’m out for a little over an hour running. Running is my ‘me time’. It truly allows me to clear my head, loosen up and get myself ready for whatever is coming my way. I solve some of my biggest problems and make many of my biggest decisions while placing the miles behind me. Today there are no big issues challenging me, so the run is purely gratifying, enjoying the feel of the sun on my body as I wind my way thru the city.
I arrive back at my place and get myself cleaned up and figure out what to wear for the day. Based on the chats I’ve had with Ciara thru the week, it’s going to be a relaxed day, the plans somewhat changed from our original discussion. Lunch and then spending time in one of the trendy shopping districts just off the downtown area. It will give us a chance to get to know each other better and for each of us to see if there is enough there to build a friendship.
I decide to head out a little early. Note to all those listening, my pet peeve is people not showing up on time. I arrive at the agreed upon restaurant about 10 minutes early, find a table outside and text Ciara to let her know where to look for me when she arrives. Also asking if I can get her drink ordered. I immediately get a text back stating that she’s five minutes out and that I should order her an iced tea.
Flagging down the waitress as she is coming out on the patio, I order a couple of iced teas and then begin scrolling thru the latest news on my phone. I find an interesting article on Flutter and am deep into said article when I see that someone is approaching the table. Ciara has arrived and she looks just as delicious today as when I first met her on Monday.
Ciara is dressed in a pair of skintight black short shorts with a loose no sleeves white knit top. Her hair bounces around with her every step and her eyes are shielded behind round sunglasses with dark lenses that frame her face perfectly. She is wearing a gold necklace with several gold bracelets on each arm. She also has a pair of white flats coordinating with her top. As she arrives at the table, she takes the seat next to me so that she also gets the sun on her front instead of her back.
“Hey, thanks for meeting up for lunch,” she opens the conversation.
“Happy to. Gotta build up the friend pool.” I say with a slight smirk. “How’d things go at the bar last night?”
“The usual Saturday night, nothing too terrible. A few folks that we had to call ride shares for at the end of the night. Some people simply don’t know when to stop.” Ciara emphasized that last sentence and continued. “The worst part of the evening was a bridal party that showed up. You know they can be worse than the guys. Not a one of them could hold their liquor. Several of them ended up sick in the bathroom, making a right mess and they were more grabby than any of the guys in the bar. I don’t need all that shite, but it’s no worse than any other bar and helping my Uncle Danny out makes my dad happy.”
“How’d your uncle end up over here? I know you said your dad got a job out in New York, what possessed your uncle to leave Ireland and move to the Midwest?”
“To make a long story short, Danny was here in the States visiting my family. He ended up meeting a woman, fell in love, married her, sold his bar in Ireland, moved here and purchased the bar here in town and turned it into his sports bar. Andrea was on vacation in New York when they met. According to my dad, when Danny met Andrea, he was done. He apparently had been quite the player until she walked into his life. Dad said Danny has never looked at another woman since. And Andrea is a wonderful woman. She wears her heart on her sleeve and genuinely cares for everyone in her life. You’ll meet her sometime, if you spend any amount of time at Danny’s. The two of them spoil me. They’ve never had kids, so they put all of that focus on me – to quote them, ‘I’m the daughter they never had’. To say they’re thrilled that I’m here would be an understatement.”
“Do you enjoy working at his place?” I ask so that I could continue learning more about her and listen to that wonderful accent.
“For the most part. Once school starts, I’ll cut back on my hours. I don’t really need to work, but it allows me to spend time with Danny and Andrea and they never really asked, just put me on the schedule once they knew I was coming to town. I can’t argue too much as they let me live above the bar. It’s close to campus, so we all win.” Ciara continued, “I’m starting to get to know the regulars, I’ve only been working for a couple of weeks now, but I enjoy the personalities.”
“Well, that’s the fifty-cent tour of my life.” Ciara then asks, “So what’s your story?”
“Not a long story, Midwest girl grows up in a small town, waiting for her moment to escape. Lands a scholarship to her dream college, gets a degree and starts working. While you spent your teen years in the city that never sleeps, I spent my childhood in the city that never wakes up!” I chuckle and continue. “Seriously, everyone knew everyone else in town and that meant everyone knew your business. I couldn’t walk out the door of my house without the whole town knowing what I was doing. I do not miss that at all. Luckily, I got good grades, got a full boat scholarship – girls wanting to get into software development get noticed and get showered with scholarships if they’re any good.”
I continue on, “I’d played soccer growing up – was pretty decent at it and got scholarship offers but decided not to play at the collegiate level. I knew I wouldn’t play past college and my focus was on getting good grades so I could land a great job.”
She interrupts me with a huge grin on her face. “Football?”
“Yeah, yeah, everyone but us Americans calls it football,” I laugh. “I get it. Sorry, I grew up calling it soccer, so I’m not going to change now. Anyhow, love my parents, but I absolutely had to get out of that town.”
I continue on, “College was an eye-opening experience for me. To say I had led a sheltered life would be an understatement. Prior to college, I’d never drank and rarely dated. College allowed me to learn who I was, that I was ok with who I was and opened up the world to me. In high school, I graduated with a class size of just over sixty kids. In college, I had classes of several hundred people. The shock value was real. At first, I felt lost in a sea of people, but I waded into the waters and made my way. My parents continue to think I’ll move back home, but that ain’t going to happen.”
After a moment to take a small sip of my drink, I continue. “I met friends there who I’ll have for life. After my freshman year, I grouped together with Maddie and Sandy, and we got our own apartment off campus. The three of us were a good match, all serious students, but willing to put the books down when we could and have some fun. They will be lifelong friends and I’m lucky I met them. I can tell them anything and there is no judgement, they will listen and give me advice when I need it and I try to do the same for them.”
Treading into a more sensitive area, “I had my first real relationship at college. She was a wonderful girlfriend. She showed me that it was ok to acknowledge that I was attracted to women. I really fell in love with her, but it wasn’t meant to last. She ended up dumping me for someone else and I thought I was broken for a long time after our relationship ended.”
Ciara gently reaches out and lightly touches my hand. “A broken heart is a tough thing to heal.” As she is saying it, I feel a spark jolt me where she had touched, it travels thru my entire body. Not many people have ever been able to do that to me. It such a nice feeling, but I know I can’t go there with Ciara.
Her concern feels genuine, and I very much appreciate her reaction. She isn’t freaked out about me being a lesbian. While there is much more acceptance today than in the past, it doesn’t mean that everyone is ok when hearing that someone they know is gay or lesbian. In this case, it looks like it isn’t going to be an issue. Ciara just gained deep respect from me, for showing that she cared about how I was impacted.
Our food arrives about then and we both start in on the food. Lunch is filled with a lot of conversation as we get to know each other and tell our stories. I learn that she has a delightful sense of humor and a laugh that lights up the space around her. She also is driven and has plans to go onto law school after she graduates. She is apparently enamored with intellectual property laws and wants to specialize in that field. Her breakup with her boyfriend wasn’t just your typical end of a relationship, she had caught him in bed with another girl. From her description, she walked out of the room and never talked with him again. Not that he didn’t try, but she froze him out of her life. You can still see the bitterness on her face as she talks about the experience.
Soon we are done with lunch and are leaving the restaurant, taking a stroll thru the nearby shopping district. We wind in and out of the little shops engaged in conversation and looking at the various items for sale. The weather is absolutely phenomenal, light breeze with the temps in the low 80s. It makes for a comfortable afternoon as we explore this part of town. It is an eclectic mix of trendy stores along with some of the national clothing retail stores. A little of something for everyone.
As evening approaches, Ciara informs me that she had to get going as she has plans to eat with Danny and Andrea. As much as I want to spend some more time with her, I understand her prior commitment and we agree to keep in touch. It appears I’ve made a friend.
*****
Mid-September
*****
I must admit, it feels weird not being in school. That’s all I’ve known until this spring. When the time arrives where I would normally be heading to school and starting classes, I just continue working. I have entered ‘The Grind’. Truth be told, I am having a blast at work, my team is an incredible mix of individuals. Yes, I am the only woman on the team, but the guys, if anything are very protective of me and bend over backwards to make sure that I feel welcome. Thru the team, I have a bunch of big brothers that I didn’t have in real life, as I am an only child. That’s not to say they don’t rough me up when I make bone headed coding mistakes, but it’s all done with the appropriate amount of friendly banter.
Anna and I continue to meet regularly. And, I had met other women my age that I did spend some time with occasionally. But it was Ciara who had become my best friend. The two of us spend a lot of time together. I sometimes spend the evening at the bar when she is working. Hanging out and talking with her as she tends other customers, and we find evenings to spend time together – going to movies, hitting the community theater or just spending an evening talking if her schedule allows. If it doesn’t work out during the week, we seem to have a standing arrangement to do lunch on Sundays. Outside of that, we are constantly snapchatting each other.
I am thoroughly enjoying life as an adult!
Today, I’ve been working on the new interface that we are getting ready to roll out to our customers. It’s been an intense summer as my team, and others, have been focused on getting this epic ready to deliver. As I’m chugging away testing some of the new code, my phone vibrates.
CO: “Hey, how you today?”
ME: “Livin life, head buried in my computer testing the new code we’ve put together to make sure I don’t break the build.”
CO: “My schedule is going to be brutal this semester. Going to have to skip tonight, we can still meet on Sunday. Sorry!”
ME: “No worries, school takes priority. Figured it was going to happen at some point. Are you sure Sunday will work for you?”
CO: “Yep, that’ll work. Again, sorry about tonight, I’ll see you Sunday.”
Well, that sucks. I had gotten used to my regular meet ups with Ciara. Looks like, I’ll just have to spend the night streaming some movies.
Sunday
To my surprise, Ciara is already at the restaurant ahead of me and she’s seated at one of the high tables outside. I meander over to the table, lean in to give her a quick hug and then make my way around the table and sit across from her.
“Hey, C, been waiting long?”
“Nope, got here just a few minutes ago and was barely seated when you walked up. You have a good morning?”
“Yes, you know me, up early, out jogging to clear my head. Then I got some laundry out of the way. How was the bar last night?”
“Hopping. Schools back on, so Saturday nights are really, really busy now. Significantly bigger crowd then during the summer. Starts earlier and they are drinking a lot more than the summer crowd. Last night was a good night, nobody was causing problems. We were slammed, but I will admit the night flew by and it was closing time before I knew it. Danny has a great spot, the bar is close enough to campus to draw a good crowd. When there are games here in town, it is absolutely crazy.”
“I should have stopped in to add to the charm of the evening!” I respond with a laugh.
“Well, I’ll say this, outside of the typical thirst for beer, Fireball still seems to be the drink of choice for the college crowd wanting a shot. We went thru a shite load of the stuff last night. Danny’s going to have to order a whole lot more of that stuff. Especially for game weekends.”
“What’s your schedule going to look like thru the school year?” As I’m finishing the question, our server appears, and we get our drinks ordered.
“I’ve told Danny that I’m going to need to cut back – maybe one night during the week and then either Friday or Saturday, but not both. I need time to study. I’m still a college girl and need some time with friends and time to act stupid before I have to grow up like you!” We both end up laughing. “Seriously, I’m probably not going to have as much time to catch up with you during the week. Need to keep my grades up if I’m going to be ready for the LSAT next summer and apply for Law School in the fall. If I’m not studying for my classes, I’m going to be spending time prepping for the LSAT. Can’t believe I’m already at this point!”
“That’s pretty cool. I didn’t have to do anything like that with my degree, so I’m not necessarily in tune with the pressure you must feel.”
“Changing topics, Danny and Andrea know that we spend Sunday afternoons together. They’ve told me that you are more than welcome to come over and do dinner with all of us, it is a standing invitation whenever it works for you.”
“Wow, that’s very generous of them to include me. They didn’t need to do that!”
“Well, they’ve both noticed you and I hang out a lot together and I’ve told them you’ve become my closest friend. They’ve also both gotten to know you, at least a little, from your time hanging out at the bar, so they thought since you were a big part of my life that you should be able to join us for dinner.”
“C, I’d love to! From what I’ve seen of Andrea and Danny, they’re both pretty cool people. I’d love to get to know them better and spend more time with all of you.”
The afternoon progresses with each of us filling in the other in on the things that had happened over the previous week and talking about the latest news. We also talk to each other about any recent gossip with the families. Both of us being the only children in our families, it was typically about whatever recent conversations we’d had with our parents. Ciara was also able to fill me in on any juicy happenings between Andrea and Danny. As with any of our chats, the conversation was all over the place. Anything and everything is in bounds and ends up in the conversation at some point.
We decide to see the latest romcom after lunch, the theater being a short stroll from the restaurant we’d chosen to eat at. We got to the theater, purchased tickets and munchies and we headed back to where the movie was showing. As we seated ourselves, I noticed the scent of her perfume. It had a light cherry blossom smell. It was captivating and I noticed myself leaning closer to her. I’m not sure if she noticed my drawing into where she was seated, if she did, she didn’t say anything. I had to remind myself, that she was not playing for my team, and nothing was going to happen.
After the movie, we spend some time strolling thru the nearby shopping district, continuing our easy conversation and then late afternoon we head over to Danny and Andrea’s place. Ciara hitching a ride with myself.
To say I’m impressed would be an understatement. I knew Ciaras’ parents had money, but I guess I didn’t realize Danny and Andrea were as loaded as their home indicated. The entrance to their place was off a road at the edge of town, I stop at the gates and key in the passcode that C provides and drive thru the gates. The drive winds up over a hill, lined with trees whose branches hang gracefully over the drive creating a natural arch and cathedral like entrance to their home. Then I get my first look at the place as I top the hill. It is stunning, about halfway down the hill, was what appeared to be a small castle, beyond the house the hill continued down until it met with the river. The lawn is immaculately cared for and there are flower gardens in various spots throughout the properly. There are also massive shade trees covering the path from the house down to the river. Behind the home is a large pool.
“Holy crap, C! You never said anything about Danny and Andrea being loaded. This is truly impressive. My God, I don’t even want to think what this place cost.”
Ciara just laughs, “You ain’t seen anything yet. Wait till you get inside.”
As we pull up in front of their place, Danny and Andrea step out and wave. As we are getting out of my car, they both chime in. “Hey girls, glad you could make it for dinner.” They approach Ciara as she exits the car, both giving her big hugs. As I come around from the other side of the car, they also approach me and repeat the hugs.
“Natalia, welcome to our home,” Andrea offers. “It’s so nice of you to come out here with Ciara and have dinner with us.”
“Andrea, thank you for the invitation. I was a little surprised when C let me know of the invite. I wasn’t expecting that, and I don’t mean to intrude on your family time. By the way, you can call me Nat.”
“Nonsense, Nat. Ciara normally chats about you nonstop during our meals, so we thought why not bring you into our little dinner and get to know you better.”
Andrea hooks her arm into mine and guides me towards the entrance to their home, two massive wooden doors, one hanging open. She and I enter into the home, and I am freaking awestruck. The entrance space could fit my apartment and then some. White marble floors leading to staircases on either side of the room leading up to the second floor. The staircases are made of a rich lighter brown wood with marble insets on the individual stairs. The entrance is a full two stories, the walls lining either side, made with large panels of the same wood from which the staircase was constructed.
Reaching beyond the entrance you can see into what I am assuming is a large seating area. Centered along the outer wall in front of windows that reached from floor to ceiling, is a large pedestal with a baby grand piano fitted nicely in the center. Around the pedestal are different seating areas identified with groupings of chairs and a couple of different sofas.
“Andrea, this is beautiful. I’ve never been in a home like this.” I gushed.
She lets out a light laugh and continues to guide me into their home. Andrea led me into the room with the piano and found us a spot on one of the couches. C and Danny settle into a couple of chairs across from us. Through the windows I look out over a meticulously cared for lawn and several gardens. The pool acts as the architectural transition from the home to the lawn. There is a wide deck composed of massive pieces of natural stone pieced together and fitted around the pool. With gardens encircling the pad around the pool. There are a variety of tables and chairs around the pool. It is all very impressive.
Andrea kicks off the conversation, “So, Nat, you’ve told me at the bar that you develop software. How’d you figure out that’s what you wanted to do professionally?”
“Well, a couple of things lined up that kind of opened doors for me. My Aunt Arriana is probably my biggest influence. She still lives in Italy. She started a company that ended up being bought out by one of the largest database companies in the world. When I was little, and still in Italy, she used to regularly have me to her house on weekends and she showed me the ropes of simple programming while I was in grade school. She got me hooked on it and would give me little problems that I could work on during the week and then show to her when I got back to her place the following weekend. To this day, if I have a problem I can’t solve, I lean on her, she is always willing to help.”
“My second biggest influence was a math teacher I had when I moved to the States,” I continued. “Ms. Angelos was an incredible teacher. She noticed I was good at math and really pushed me, she would find time in class to teach me things those other students weren’t learning yet. She, more than anyone else got the school to put me in the advanced student track. She also saw me doing programming and encouraged me to explore it more thoroughly. Once she saw my interest, she found other girls in school who were interested, and she got the school to start a club for girls who wanted to learn more about programming. We ended up doing competitions and that got the competitive side of me going. She really knew how to push my buttons, in a good way, to keep me interested in math and programming. By the time I hit high school, I knew becoming a programmer was what I wanted to do, and I took every class I could to strengthen my skills.” I finished my story, “and that’s the short story of how I figured out what I wanted to do when I grew up.”
“That’s impressive that you’ve had such strong and positive role models in your life, guiding you along your journey. Not many young people have their path so clearly painted for them at such a young age.”
“I don’t necessarily know that Arianna intended that what she was doing with me would end up pushing me in the direction of becoming a programmer. To her, it was a way to spend time with me and to teach me. Don’t get me wrong, we did more than just have little programming games. She took me out on her boat, we wandered around the city together and she spoiled me rotten,” I stated with a grin. “As for Calista, that’s Ms. Angelos, she was just that kind of a teacher. She was truly inspiring as a student; you knew she cared. And you could see she poured her heart into teaching. She was probably the most liked teacher in middle school.”
At that point Danny inserts himself into the conversation, “I don’t know about all of you, but my appetite is getting the better part of me and is telling me it’s time for dinner. Should we all head out back and I can fire up the grill?”
“That sounds like a plan. Girls would you help me grab stuff from the kitchen? I’ve got the table set out back, but we need to get the side dishes.”
C bounces up and out of her chair and starts moving out of the room. Andrea waits for me to get up and then we follow in the direction that C was moving. Andrea had prepared several side dishes to take down. Our arms were full as we grabbed various bowls and plates to take out back. It all looks delicious.
We gather downstairs and out behind their home. Danny has the grill fired up and is already cooking, smoke coming off the grill. Grill may be an understatement. Extending off the back of the house is an outdoor kitchen – a stone extension to the home that has counter space, a sink, the built-in grill and a built-in griddle. Danny apparently enjoys cooking outdoors.
It is an incredible evening of food and conversation. I learned about Danny growing up in Ireland and Andrea’s childhood in Madison. Danny was extremely close to Ciaras parents, having all grown up together in Malahide, north of Dublin along the coast. Dannys accent is much thicker than C’s and with his baritone voice the r’s roll like thunder when he speaks.
Danny is much more lively at home than when he is working at the bar. While I had seen him occasionally loosen up at the bar, tonight he was in his element. Boisterous, open, ready with a story at any moment. Yet willing to genuinely listen to those around him. He has a deep powerful laugh that takes over the space when he allows himself to get going. It is easy to see why Andrea had fallen for him and you could see the genuine love they still have for each other.
The night comes to an end too soon. Ciara needing to get back to her place and my needing to get back and prepare for work tomorrow. So, we say goodbye to our generous hosts and get on the road back into town. Ciara had taken a ride share into the restaurant where we met for lunch, so I drive her back to her place above Danny’s and then I head back to my place.
At home, I still smell her fragrance on my clothes. The light scent of cherry blossoms tickles my nose. I don’t know if the fragrance still lingers or if it is just my imagination running wild. Either way, it did everything for my sex drive. It continues to shift into higher gears as I think about my day with Ciara. I don’t want to damage the friendship that we are building together. I have no intent on doing anything with her that would jeopardize that relationship. But I can’t ignore the feelings crashing thru my body. Each wave heightening the sexual tension within.
My mind imagines being with her. I let that vision settle in as I lay in bed. The moon providing just enough light, allowing me to see the shape of my body as I looked down, making the mood that much more erotic for me. I could see my breasts gently rise and fall as my fingers found my nipples already stretching away from my smallish mounds. They are already sensitive as I begin to run lazy patterns around them. Occasionally grazing them with the tip of my fingernails. With each small touch against the stiffening protrusions sending an electric shock thru my body.
I imagine her hot breath on my nipples, her leaning in to gently lick and suckle on my stiffening nubs. My hands continue to lazily explore my breasts and I continue to tease my increasingly tender nipples. When aroused, my nips get quite large, oversized for my modest sized breasts. And they are definitely aroused, standing at attention, with every nerve ending contained within them lit up and overcharged. I eventually begin to grab each nipple and slightly twist the protrusion while pulling them away from my breasts. This action only heightening the sexual tension coursing thru my body.
I imagine C’s hands drifting down my body. Her hands slipping from my breasts and gliding down my sides, exploring my stomach and coming back up to further pleasure my breasts. My fingers become hers as they explore my body. The fingertips glancing across my lips, coming back to suck on the index finger before going back to tease my nipples. With each gentle pull of my nipples my pussy becomes more excited. I begin to leak profusely from my sex.
My thong is soaked thru as my hands finally find their way down to my sodden pussy. In one swift move, I strip them down my legs and kicked them off the bed. Finally exposed, my scent mixed with the lingering cherry blossom fragrance with my mind creating vivid images of C between my legs, her hair tickling my thighs, her tongue reaching out to explore me. Two fingers ran along the lips of my sex, spreading the lubrication. My clit was engorged and poking thru the hood as my thumb found it and began light strokes. Soon, I allowed two fingers to spread my lower lips and enter.
At first, the strokes of my fingers were slow, feeling the slickness within and the pressure of my tunnel wrapped around them. But I couldn’t contain the growing need and the fingers quickly began crashing between my lower lips, faster and faster curling up to hit my g-spot. My head was thrashing from side to side and my free hand took turns moving from breast to breast, pulling and twisting my nipples. My mind’s eye saw C between my legs, looking up at me, those green eyes holding my gaze. With that image seared into my mind, I cum. I cum harder than I had ever cum before. My body shaking and trembling. My back arching up off the mattress. I see fireworks exploding behind my closed eyelids as my body succumbs to the orgasm ripping thru my body. The fingers continuing to dip into me, slowing down to allow my body to come down from the heights I’d just reached. My chest rapidly rising and falling as I try to catch my breath.
I fall to sleep with dreamy visions of Ciara climbing back up my body and cuddling with me. Holding me, spooning me as I drift off content and at peace.
*****
October
*****
“C, Halloween is next week. Are you still on for the party at Anna’s?” I asked as she leaned on the bar across from me.
Anna, yes Anna from work, is throwing a big Halloween bash. Normally, she doesn’t invite people from work, but she and I had gotten even closer after I started on as a full-timer. Outside of C, she is probably the closest friend I have in town. I feel privileged that she considers me close enough to be invited to her party. I had asked about bringing Ciara along for the fun and Anna had readily accepted.
“Oh, yes, I’m looking forward to this bash. You better than anyone know the schedule I’ve been under. Time for this girl to cut loose a little and have some fun.”
Ciara is behind the bar at Danny’s and I am sitting across from her. As I gaze into her eyes, I lose myself for a moment. I am definitely attracted to this woman, but I knew I could never broach that subject with her. While I love being around her, there is a growing weariness of knowing that I will never be able to touch her the way I want to touch her. Never kiss her the way I truly want to kiss her.
Shaking it off, I continue the conversation. “Anna’s made it clear that costumes are required. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to go as. Witch, nurse, Bo-Beep? What’re you going to do?”
“I’m still a poor college student,” she said, batting her eye lashes and laughing! As mine roll back into my head, she continued, “I’ve been thinking the Black Widow.”
Holy shit, she would make an exceptional Black Widow. Skintight black bodysuit, that blonde hair, her green eyes, she would be a knockout!
“So does that mean I should go as Captain Marvel?” I chuckle as I say it, not being totally serious.
“I like that – two powerful females arrive and kick ass! We would so rule that party.”
“C, I was joking, I don’t even know if I could find that costume on short notice.”
“Hold on, I know some people back in New York.” With that she whips out her phone and taps away. Whoever it is appears to be responding because she chuckles and continues tapping away on her phone. Before I know it, she’s sliding her phone back into her pocket and looking at me, “well that’s that, costume will be on its way shortly and here in plenty of time for the party.”
“What? How the hell did you do that!” My mouth must be hanging open in rightful astonishment.
“One of Dad’s clients owns the company that makes a lot of those costumes. That’s how I got my costume. I happen to be good friends with his daughter Tammy. I simply asked for a small favor. Tammy’s awesome, you’d like her. She’s a bit of a wild child, but she’s as loyal as they come. If you’re her friend, she will walk thru fire for you.”
“Wow! How much do I owe her for this little favor?”
“Not one penny. She’ll have them write it off somehow so enjoy!”
“That is so cool. You are going to have to introduce me to your friends.”
“Well, not all of their families own stuff like that.”
We continue the conversation between Ciara tending her customers. It’s a busy night at Danny’s, but not so busy that we couldn’t chat thru the night until she had to start closing down the bar. I of course being the last person she kicked out as she locked the doors. I must admit, I enjoy these nights. The two of us have an easy banter and we can chat about all sorts of things while talking over the bar.
Halloween Night
C and I arrive at the party around 9:30, we’ve taken a ride share from Danny’s where I had left my car. The party had officially started at 9, so we were not too late and had planned it that way as others would be there, things would be moving, and we really didn’t know anyone beyond Anna. Our hostess, Anna, saw us as we entered and made her way over to us. I have to admit she was looking pretty hot tonight.
Anna has dressed as Jean Grey. The costume is skintight and does nothing to hide her curves. She has long red hair that reaches down to her butt and she is wearing it full and loose with waves cascading thru the hair. Her black pants are molded to every muscle of her legs, the ribbed black shirt stretches across her abs and breasts. Her massive breasts are on full display under the skintight material. The shirt is emblazoned with a large X within a golden circle. The belt she is wearing has a buckle fashioned with the same X within a circle.
I’m not used to seeing Anna dress this provocatively and I stand in awe at the raw sexuality she is displaying. And it’s not just me. Others in the room openly stare at her as she glides across the room to greet us. There is a mix of women and men mingling in groups in the living room, I can also see groups headed down the hall. Thru the opening into the kitchen are more people mingling together.
“Nat, C thanks for coming! You haven’t missed much.” She raises her voice slightly, “Everyone, this is Natalia and Ciara. Natalia and Ciara, this is everyone!”
Lowering her voice, she leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek and then does the same with Ciara. “There’s beer, wine and stuff for mixers in the kitchen. Along with various munchies. The dining room has been transformed into a dance floor. All I ask is that nobody goes up to the second floor.”
With that she ushers us back to the group she had been talking with when we entered. “Nat, C, this is Carol, Tanner, Cynthia, Steve and Bobbie. Everyone, this is Nat, she works with me and her friend Ciara.”
Everyone made do with the standard hellos and then Cynthia asked, “so Ciara, Anna called you C, do you have a preference?”
“No, not really, most everyone ends up calling me C after a while, well everyone except my family.”
Cynthia continued, “you sound like you have an Irish accent. How’d you end up here in the States?”
With that the conversation flowed. Everyone made us feel welcome. Towards the end of the night, we were talking with another couple that Anna had introduced us to, Emma and Georgia. The conversation had been going on for a while when Georgia asked, “So, how long have you two been a couple.”
Ciara jumped in immediately, “Oh, no, Georgia, we’re not a couple, just the closest of friends.” As she was answering, I felt myself blush.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. I just assumed that the two of you were a couple by the way you were treating each other. Sorry, but you just seem so natural together.”
“No worries and no explanation needed. Nat walked into where I worked a couple of weeks after I moved to town and we both decided since we were new in town to build a friendship. We’ve spent a lot of time together since early summer. I guess we’ve gotten pretty close to each other.”
My insides were churning in turmoil. As Ciara talked about the two of us and our platonic relationship. Everything she said was true, but I wasn’t fooling myself. I wanted more with her but didn’t know how to make that happen. The constraints of our friendship were binding to me in ways that kept me frustrated. To the world, I needed to show that I was her friend, but my need to make it more than that was beginning to consume me.
At one point in the evening, C grabbed my hand and took me in tow to the makeshift dance floor. We danced to several fast songs and then when a slow song started playing, C moved in, wrapped her arms around me, laid her head against me and we began to rock back and forth. I could feel every breath that she took, every slight movement of her body. Her hair tickling my neck and chin. I was mesmerized by this beautiful woman, now wrapped around me. Her breathing slowed as we moved together. She had to feel my heart racing, beating against her chest.
I finally pull away from her. “C I need to hit the restroom.” My excuse made, I make my way down the hall and closeted myself in the bathroom. Get a hold of yourself, girl. You can’t do this, she’s your friend not your lover. I splash some water on my face and take a few minutes to compose myself.
After several minutes, I think that I’ve finally pulled my emotions together and I head back out to mix with Anna and her friends. I make my way to the kitchen to grab another drink, looking thru to the living room, I see C standing with a group of people chatting. Ciara is one of those people that just naturally fits in wherever she goes. I watch her as the guys in the room flirt with her, and she deftly refuses their advances. At one point she notices me watching her and gives me a wink. That simple wink melts me once again.
The night stretches into the early morning hours and finally C and I are in a ride share headed back to Danny’s. I had left a bag at C’s and was planning on crashing at her place. This night was torture. It was heading places I couldn’t go. C was leaning into me as we rode back to her place, her eyes closed.
“That was fun tonight, Nat. Thanks for asking me to come along with you to Anna’s.” She says just loud enough for me to hear. I can see that she is on the brink of sleep. As she’s talking her hand finds mine and her fingers intertwine with mine. It is a gentle gesture.
“Hey, no problem. You’re my best friend, I’m glad you were able to do this with me. It was a great party, and it was good to meet some more of Anna’s friends.”
The car ride was silent after that, I’m not sure if she was really asleep, or if she just needed those moments to rest. I didn’t mind either way as she cuddled into me, and I am able to take her in with each breath. I can feel her supple body pressed against my side. While it is doing nothing to lower the sexual tension in my body, I appreciate the moment of just being there next to her.
As we arrive at Danny’s, I gently nudge her, and she opens her eyes looking around. Recognizing where she’s at, she begins to grab her stuff and we both get out of the car. Now, I’m not saying we were plastered, we weren’t, but it had been a long night, we both had been drinking, not to excess, but drinking none the less. And we both are tired, the ride doing nothing to wake us. Getting up the stairs to her apartment is more challenging than it should be for the two of us. We’re both were holding each other up as we navigate the stairs to her apartment.
Finally, we are up the stairs and in her apartment. As C makes her way to the bathroom to get ready for bed, I make my way to the kitchen to down a large glass of water. I have learned thru my many years, that after any type of drinking, I needed to get water in my system before I sleep, or I will wake up with a monster headache. As I stand there, my head is swimming for a different reason. C has one bed. I have slept over before and we both crashed in bed together many times. But tonight, my hormones are in overdrive, my feelings for her could betray me.
When C is done getting ready, she calls out to let me know that the bathroom is mine. I wander in, she is already lying down. I place a glass of water on her nightstand and tell her to get some down if she wants to avoid a hangover in the morning. I then make my way into the bathroom so that I can ready myself for bed.
As I strip down, I take a long look at my body. My nipples are at full attention, jutting out from my breasts. I move my hands up and give them a small tweak and a whimper escapes my throat. My stomach is flat, and I can see the definition of the ab muscles under the skin. My waist pulled in below my breasts and widened again at my hips, an attractive figure that my girlfriends have always complimented. I’m clean shaven down below and I can see my lower lips glisten, reflecting the light. My inner lips have swollen and are protruding out from my pussy. My legs stretch away from my hips and are paired beautifully with my ass which is nice and firm. My dark skin contrasts with the white skin normally hidden by my underwear, a small triangle covering my sex.
I step into the shower and grab the soap, pouring it out and rubbing it all over my body. As my fingers move between my legs, my other hand again finds my breasts and begins to play with them. Rubbing them, pulling on the nipples, gently caressing the nub protruding from each breast. My hand down below is gently rubbing between my legs, sliding fingers up and down the opening of my pussy. Spreading the inner wetness only adding to the slickness provided by the soap. The urgency that has built thru the night takes over and my fingers find my clit and begin to concentrate on that very sensitive bundle of nerves. Circling, faster and faster. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes for me to reach a crescendo and the orgasm rips thru my body. My entire body shaking as I cum in the shower. I’m doing everything I can not to scream out Ciaras name as the waves crash thru my body.
Recovering, I rinse the soap from my body and step out of the shower. I towel off and finish my night routine, returning to Ciaras’ bedroom. From her breathing, I can tell she is fast asleep. I glance at the glass of water on her nightstand to find it drained. Thankful that she got some water in her to fend off the hangover. I then drop into bed next to her and fight to go to sleep. Sleep escapes me and I am not getting much rest as I struggle lying next to her.
The next morning, I make my excuses and leave C’s place to head back home. My mind is still a mess, I know I’ve fallen in love with Ciara. But I have no idea how to deal with the issue.
On Sunday, I bow out of our normal day together. I tell Ciara that I’m not feeling well and that I need some down time. She asks to come over, but I tell her that its not needed and that I’m just going to sleep.
Work, the following week.
Tuesday, at the office, I decide that I need advice and I stop in Anna’s office. “Anna, would you have time after work to talk. I’ve got a personal issue and need to get some advice.”
Anna looks up from her computer and across the desk at me, “Nat, you look tired. Yeah, I’ve got time, but do you need to talk now?”
“No, this is going to take some time and I’ve got work I need to complete yet today. I’ll buy, your choice of where we go as long as it isn’t Danny’s.”
“Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good. You’ve been thick as thieves with Ciara, I’m assuming this has to do with her then.”
“Yep. No getting a fast one by you. We can chat after work, just let me know where you want to meet up.”
I head back to my desk and try and stuff Ciara back into a box. It’s not easy, but I finally find my way to a place where I can concentrate on my work. I grind my way thru the day.
After work, I meet Anna at a place I’ve not been before, Fletchers. It’s not far from work and appears to be an upscale bar and restaurant with a generous outdoor seating area. I find Anna inside at the bar with drink in hand. I love the interior – contemporary and classy.
I settle in next to her. “Hey, thanks for meeting me. I think I’m going crazy and I need to talk to someone.” I get the attention of the bartender and order a glass of wine.
“Ok, going to skip past the pleasantries. I’m assuming this has something to do with Ciara, what happened?”
“Nothing, she hasn’t done anything. It’s me.”
“What? It’s you what.” Seeing the look on my face she makes the correct guess. “Oh, you’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”
“Anna, I didn’t mean to. When she told us that first night she had broken up with her boyfriend and moved here, I had resigned myself to the fact that we could be friends. I knew I couldn’t cross that line. But my feelings for her have been growing. I love everything about her. Her mind, her eyes, her smile, her hair, the smell of her is intoxicating. I’m lost and I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh, you have it bad. Don’t you.” All I can do is nod my head as tears form in the corner of my eyes.
“She’s everything I think I’ve ever dreamed of, everything I didn’t know existed that I need. That little roll of her r’s drives me insane. I can’t stop thinking about her. I never thought I’d be the lovesick puppy trying to get the attention of someone, but there you go. I’m going crazy because she’s straight and I know I can’t go there with her.”
“I’m happy that you trust me to talk to about this Nat. I know it can’t be easy for you. How much does she know, or how much has she figured out?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never said anything to her, but she must know I like her, I just don’t know if she knows I love her, and not love as in friend. Damn, Anna. She is turning me inside out. I’ve never fallen for someone like this. I get up in the morning, I wonder what she is doing, whether she tossed and turned during the night or if she had a peaceful night’s sleep. I’m constantly thinking about her during the day, she is in my daydreams, just thinking of her calms me when I’m stuck on a problem or getting nervous about something. When I’m eating, I think of her across from me and the easy conversations the two of us have. What do I do?”
“Nat, do you love her, not are you infatuated with her, but do you love her? You need to figure that out before you do anything. If it’s just infatuation, you need to figure out how to let it go. If it’s really love, you need to talk to her.”
“The night we first met Ciara at Danny’s, I was infatuated. God, when she walked out onto the patio, she took my breath away. But when she told us about her ex, I knew that she was straight and I told myself, ok, I can be friends with her. And I really did believe that. At first when we started meeting up, I was able to push all that to the side and just get to know her. Anna, you know in a short amount of time, we’ve become the best of friends. Hell, more often than not, I know what she’s going to say when I ask her a question or when she’s responding to someone else. And she can probably do the same with me. I’m way past infatuation, she means the world to me and I can’t imagine my life without her. But she’s straight. I am totally screwed!” Tears are streaming out of my eyes at this point.
Anna moves to put her arms around me and hug me. I lean into her, my head resting on her shoulder as I let the emotions run thru me. Anna is kind enough to just hold me, knowing that I need this moment. She is a true friend and I’m lucky to have her in my life.
We talk for a couple more hours and by the end of our discussion, Anna convinces me that I need to talk with Ciara and let her know how I’m feeling. At least then it will be out in the open and I will know if there is any chance that she will reciprocate my feelings. If she doesn’t, I might get crushed, but at least then I’ll know how she feels. I’m actually smiling by the end of our conversation and feel like I have a path forward.
Thursday
Ciara has been texting me all week, worried about me and making sure that I’m ok. I text her back that it was a one-day thing. Thru our texting and chatting she knows that I was back to work on Monday. She continually is checking to ensure that whatever it was is truly gone and that I’m ok. I can tell that she is genuinely worried about me.
She works the late shift at Danny’s tonight, and I’ve let her know that I’ll be there for our normal night. She doesn’t know it, but I’m going to tell her tonight. I’ve made the decision that when the other people leave, and she is finished locking up is when I’m going to sit her down and confess what has been going on in this head of mine. I’m nervous as heck about telling her, but my talk with Anna has convinced me that I must do this.
I take my normal spot at one end of the bar, allowing her to tend to her other customers. This spot has always given us a little privacy from others when she isn’t busy with the other customers. C doesn’t use it as an excuse not to do her work but being there allows us to chat and spend time with each other. Our conversations range from religion, to politics, sports, work, school and family. We always have an easy conversation.
Tonight, the time drags by. Danny’s normally stays open until midnight, but tonight is one of those nights when a little after eleven, everyone has left the place but me. C makes the decision that she’s going to lock up and shut down early. I tell her I’m going to use the lady’s room as she locks up and make my way back down the hall. My nerves are getting the better of me and I’m trying to take deep breaths to calm down.
I wrap up my business on the toilet and am at the sink washing my hands when I hear two loud bangs. Noises I’d never heard in Danny’s before. Not sure what they are, I quick dry my hands and head back out. As I’m leaving the ladies room, I yell out to Ciara, “What was that C, is everything all right?”
There’s no reply from Ciara. I continue down the hall and ask again, “Ciara, are you ok, what happened?” Still no answer.
As I round the corner from the hall, I see her body lying near the entrance. Crumpled down on the floor. I’ve never moved so fast in my life as I run to her body. I’m screaming, “Ciara are you ok? C answer me, damnit!”
She doesn’t move. As I reach her, I notice blood pooling on the floor next to her body. Her shirt is stained red in two places, near the shoulder above her breast and down in her stomach. I also notice the two holes in her shirt. Holy shit, she’s been shot!
I grab my phone and dial 911.
“911 please tell me what your emergency is?”
“My friends been shot. She’s bleeding. She’s bleeding a lot!”
“Where are you at?”
“Danny’s Place, the sports bar on Capitol and Sycamore.”
“What’s your name?”
“I’m her friend, Natalia Giordano”
“Ok, Natalia, help is on the way, I need you to stay with your friend. Is there anything there that you can use to put pressure on the wounds?”
“Yes, I can grab some towels behind the bar.”
“Ok, that’s good, when you get them, I need you to place a towel over each of the wounds and press down. It’s important that you keep the pressure on until help gets there and can take over. Can you do that?”
“Yes, I’ve got the towels now and I’m getting back to her to do as you said.”
The operator stays online with me until the ambulance and firefighters arrive. The police arrive shortly after. As the EMTs and Firefighters take care of Ciara and prep her to get in the ambulance, one of the police pulls me to the side. The flashing lights from all the vehicles outside cause garish reflections to dance around the walls of the bar. All it accomplishes is to remind me that my best friend, the woman I was about to confess my love for has been shot.
The police begin questioning me about what happened. I’m not much help as I tell them I was in the bathroom and didn’t see anything. They keep asking me different ways, but I can’t tell them anything because I don’t know anything. I did convince one of them to call Danny and let him know what happened to Ciara.
As the police are busy questioning me, they get Ciara on the stretcher, into the ambulance and take her away from me. As the police continue to question me and inspect the bar, Danny arrives. I would have sworn a couple of minutes had passed. But it had to have been closer to a half hour or forty-five minutes, knowing where he and Andrea live.
As Danny rushes into the place, he about trips over several officers still hanging around the front door and kneeling where Ciara’s body had been before they moved her to the hospital. Danny sees me and immediately heads my way.
“Nat, are you ok? How bad is Ciara?”
At this point, the adrenaline has passed, and my nerves and emotions finally are catching up with me. As he reaches me, I bury my head into his chest and began to ball. I try to spit the words out.
“Danny,” sniffling thru my crying. “I was gone for just a few minutes in the bathroom.” I continue to blubber, and my voice has to be muffled by his body as I stand there. “She was shot, I don’t know who did it, but they shot her. I can’t believe they shot her.”
Danny is tense, I could feel it in his body, his muscles are coiled up and I can sense the anger rising in him. Give the man credit, he finds a way to hold me until I can settle down.
“Sir,” one of the police gently said getting his attention. “Can you tell me if anything is missing.”
Danny guides me back to the bar and has me sit down. He grabs me a wet bar rag so that I can clean the dried blood from my hands. I scrub them as best as I can, but no matter how hard I scrub, I can still see her blood on my hands.
Danny quickly begins to check on things, first looking at the register and then the safe behind the bar.
“No, they didn’t take anything. The money is all here, the safe is still closed and locked. What the hell happened? Officer, are we done here? If so, I want to lock this place up and get down to the hospital to see my niece.”
“Ok, we’ll want to talk in the morning to see if you can shed any light on why someone would want to hurt your niece – Ciara. I’ll get everyone out of here.”
Before we leave, Danny gets a mop and cleans the floor where Ciara had landed and had bled. He moves the money from the register to the safe and then guides me out the door to his car. He wastes no time getting us to the hospital. When we arrive, we meet up in the emergency room with Andrea who had headed to the hospital when they got the call.
Andrea sees us walking in and quickly moves to Danny grabbing him and wrapping her arms around him. She is crying.
“Andrea, hon, tell me what you know.”
“Oh, Danny, they’ve got her in surgery. Ciara was shot twice – the first one in her shoulder, that caused some muscle and tissue damage but didn’t hit anything significant. They feel they can easily remove that one. The second one is the one that worries me. It apparently punctured the colon. There’s lots of bleeding and they are concerned about infections. They are confident they can repair everything but are going to need to keep a close eye on her.”
Danny holds onto Andrea and his face is locked, I can see he is fighting his emotions, not wanting to let anything out.
Andrea finally let’s go of Danny and moves my way, wrapping her arms around me. I don’t hesitate to reciprocate, and my head leans down onto her shoulder. Danny leans in and envelopes both of us. I don’t know how long we just stand there holding on to each other.
“Honey, are you ok?” Andrea speaking very softly.
“I’m not hurt, just shook. I was just in the bathroom for a couple of minutes. I should have stayed out there with her. If I’d been there, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Oh, Nat, this isn’t your fault. If you’d been out there you might have been shot. It’s better you stayed safe, so you were able to help Ciara until the EMTs arrived.”
Danny’s phone rang then, and he moved away from Andra and me.
“Andrea, who would do this to Ciara? Why would anyone do this to her?”
“I don’t know, Nat. We need to let the police do their work and hopefully they’ll find the person.” As we talked, Andrea moved us towards a set of chairs and got us seated.
After about fifteen minutes, Danny walked back and told us that Ciara’s parents were on their way. Ardan and Noelle were taking the company jet and would be here in the morning. They were on their way to the airport now.
Danny, Andrea and I chatted to keep our minds busy and off what was happening. The conversation wasn’t really about anything, just to keep us preoccupied. Somewhere during the discussion, all energy left my body and I fell asleep. The next thing I knew, Andrea was waking me up.
“Nat, hey Nat?” Slowly my eyes opened, it took me a few minutes to realize where I was and why I was here.
“I’m awake, what’s going on? What time is it?”
“It’s almost five. The surgeon is going to be out shortly to talk to us. I thought you might want to be awake when he gets here.”
“Yes, thanks.”
Time seems to crawl by, but in reality, it was only about 10 minutes when we all saw a woman in scrubs walking towards us. She looked tired.
“Hi, Mr and Mrs O’Shae? My name is Alyssa Masters, I’m the surgeon that has been working on Ciara. Are you her parents?”
Danny answered, “No, we’re her aunt and uncle and this is her friend Natalia. Andrea and I are Ciaras emergency contacts, and the forms should be on file that we are able to make medical decisions for her.” I’m stunned at how calm Danny has been thru all of this.
She pulls a chair up closer to us and sits. “I’m giving you good news; I want you all to take a deep breath. While no gunshot wounds are good, Ciara is lucky that they ended up where they did and didn’t penetrate any further thru her body. She’s going to be very sore, but barring some unforeseen complication, she should be ok. I’m not at all concerned about the upper chest wound. That didn’t hit anything serious. The bullet hit a rib, fractured the rib and then was deflected and left her body. That one is going to be sore and will inhibit her breathing just from the pain and will be sore for a solid couple of weeks. After 4-6 weeks, she won’t notice that wound. More concerning is the second wound that entered her abdominal area. That one punctured her colon, leaving a rather significant tear and more importantly allowing contents within the colon to leak out of the colon. The biggest threat right now is infection. Besides having to remove the bullet and repair the colon, a lot of stuff that shouldn’t be floating around the body seeped out of the colon and we had to do quite a bit of cleanup. The good news is she is young, healthy and, again, barring any serious infection or complication, she should recover. There’s going to be some serious discomfort as her body recovers, but she’ll be ok.”
As she speaks, I look over at Danny and I can see the tension release from his body. His shoulders and face becoming less stiff and tense. He has his arm wrapped around Andrea, giving her comfort.
Andrea is the first one to reply to the doctor. “Doctor, you have no idea how much those words mean to us. Thank you for all you’ve done for Ciara! A few questions. First, when can we get back to see her? Second, how long do you think she’ll be in the hospital? Third, what’s recovery going to look like?”
“Those are pretty reasonable questions. She is being moved to recovery right now, as soon as we have her awake and do an initial check, we’ll allow one person at a time to come back and see her. She’s going to be groggy, so don’t count on getting too much out of her. Her body has been thru a lot over the last several hours. If everything goes right and we don’t see any signs of infection, she’ll most likely be in the hospital for a couple of days. Recovery is somewhat dependent on how she handles pain. Overall, when she gets released from the hospital, she’ll have a restriction on what she can lift – nothing more than 10 pounds. And I don’t want her lifting anything with her left arm for at least a week. Other than that, she can return to normal activity if she listens to her body. If it hurts, she needs to stop, if she is getting tired, she needs to stop and get some rest. We’ll know more as she wakes up and we see how she responds. Most patients with this kind of a wound and surgery feel it for a couple of months.”
She continues, “I’m not as concerned about the physical side as much as I’m concerned about the mental side. While she experienced physical trauma, she also experienced mental trauma. My understanding is we don’t know who or why she was shot. She’s going to remember being shot and will hopefully be able to tell us something that helps make some sense of this. However, while the rest of us are going to process that, she is most likely going to be dealing with a heightened sense of fear and emotions stemming from being shot. We’re going to have her talk to a counselor here when we think she is ready, I would also recommend you get someone lined up to help her thru the mental part of this when she is released from the hospital.”
Andrea again steps in, “I can assure you; we will make sure she has whatever support she needs to recover both physically and mentally. Her parents will be here shortly and between all of us, she will have what she needs.”
“Ok, the nurse who leads my surgical team is with Ciara right now. When Ciara is waking up, Jan will step out here and get one of you to go back and be with her. The team is also working to get her a room. And we’ll be transferring her to her room shortly after she wakes up. I would recommend one person at a time when she gets to her room. As she gets more energy today, we’re going to get her up and moving around. Not too much, but it’s better for her recovery to get her moving. If you have any questions, get them to Jan or my team and they’ll make sure that I get them. When Jan speaks to you, she’ll tell you how to reach someone on my team any time – day or night. I plan on checking on Ciara several times today to make sure that things stay on track. Jan and her team are the best, and I mean that with all sincerity, your niece is in excellent hands.”
“Thank you again, doctor. Our family deeply appreciates the care you and your team are giving Ciara.” Danny says as he reaches over and places his hand on hers for a moment. As she stands, Andrea stands up and gives her a hug.
The doctor looks back at me. “The ER nurses told me, that the EMTs said you were the one that took care of Ciara until they got there. Your actions helped your friend. She’s lucky you were there when all of this happened. If I might suggest, you may want to think about getting someone to talk to about this. Ciara isn’t the only one who experience trauma last night.” With that, she stepped over to me and gave me a quick hug.
As she walked away, I begin to cry. Both Andrea and Danny closed in and wrapped me in their arms. I am a big emotional mess. I haven’t slept much; it is all catching up to me. Seeing Ciara lying on the floor unresponsive. Seeing the blood staining her shirt and pooling by her body. Seeing the two wounds where the bullets had entered her body. I sobbed as I let it all out and Danny and Andrea held me the whole time. Andrea comforting me telling me it was going to be ok.
It wasn’t long after that when Ciaras parents arrived. There was no mistaking them as they walked towards us. Ciara was the spitting image of her mother and Ardan was taller than Danny, the family resemblance was spooky. Ardan was just a taller version of Danny. They had the same body frame, same facial features.
As they walked over, everyone got up and hugs all around ensued. Andrea introduced me to the two of them. And she took on the responsibility of bringing Noelle and Ardan up to speed on where things were with Ciara. As she listened, Noelle took my hand and kept it in hers. Ardan had his arm around her. Noelle fought back tears the entire time.
As Andrea is filling Noelle and Ardan in on what the current status with Ciara is, I realize I need to let work know that I’m not going to be in. I take a moment, excuse myself and call Anna. I bring her up to speed on what has happened and where I’m currently at. Letting her know that I’m still at the hospital and that I won’t be into the office today. She assures me that she’ll let John know and not to worry about work today. She tells me to make sure Ciara is all right and to take care of myself. She makes me promise to call her later with an update.
Almost as if on cue, as Andrea finishes up, a woman in scrubs approaches our small group.
“Good morning, everyone. My name is Jan, I’m Dr. Masters lead nurse for her surgical team. Which of you are Ciaras parents?”
Ardan and Noelle stepped forward. Ardan speaking up, “We are. I’m Ardan and this is my wife, Noelle. This is my brother, Danny and his wife Andrea. And this young lady is Ciaras best friend, Natalia. Any updates you have, you can say in front of everyone here.”
“Ok, thank you. It’s nice meeting you all. Ciara is waking up. If Dr. Masters did not mention it, we are going to limit it to 1 person at a time coming back into recovery. As Ciara wakes up and the drugs wear off, she’s going to be in pain. That’s expected for what she has gone thru. Once we’re confident that recovery is looking good, we’ll move her to a room. I’d like no more than 2 people in the room with her at any time and you need to take cues from her, if she is tired, you need to let her rest. Also, we’ll have a counselor showing up for her today to start working thru the mental trauma of being shot. Please don’t press her for details. If she wants to talk about it, let her, but do it on her terms. Do everything you can to be positive and to keep her focused-on recovery and not slipping back to being shot. Any questions at this point?”
There was a pause, and nobody spoke.
“Ok, then who’s first to go back and see Ciara?”
Noelle released my hand, stepped forward and she and the nurse began walking down the hall.
Our small group found chairs and Ardan looked over towards Danny. “Danny, any idea why this happened?”
“No, nothing like that has ever happened in the area around the bar. I’m as shocked as anyone. I gave the police access to the videos, so they should be able to pull the video from last night and piece together what’s happened. I haven’t looked at them.”
It is obvious that Ardan is keeping a tight lid on his emotions. His face is drawn tight, and his body is stiff. “Danny, could you send copies of the video or get access to the head of my security team? I’d at least like them to review and see if they notice anything.”
“That’s the least I can do. You know you can count on me to help as well, Ardan. Andrea and I would do anything for Ciara. I’ll have the security company forward them on to your team.”
Ardan turns to look at me and a smile lightens the stern look on his face, “Now that we actually have a minute, I want to personally thank you for being there for Ciara last night. From what Danny has told me, Ciara was lucky to have you there to find her so quickly and to get the call into 911. Beyond that, Ciara talks about you non-stop when we chat. She thinks very highly of you and after what has happened, I agree with her.” He leans across to me and takes my hand in his. “I don’t dare to think what would have happened last night if you hadn’t been there to take care of her. You must be worn down after everything that has happened. Noelle and I talked on the way in, we’re going to let you see Ciara and then my driver will give you a ride home so that you can clean up and get some rest. Sean will be at your call. When you are ready to come back to the hospital, he will be there to pick you up and get you right back here.”
“Mr. O’Shea, that’s too much. I can get myself back to my place, you don’t have to do this.”
“First, it is Ardan and Noelle. And second, nonsense, it is the least Noelle, and I can do for you. You must be tired and neither of us want to see anything happen to you. We insist.”
“Thank you so much, that is very generous of you both.”
After about ten minutes, Noelle is back with the group and takes me gently wrapping her arm in mine and begins to escort me back to see Ciara.
“Natalia, I’m sure Ardan has already thanked you. It is my turn to tell you how much your being there with Ciara last night means to me. I said many thanks on the flight in from New York that you were there to immediately care for her until the ambulance arrived. She talks about you whenever we chat and now, I know why she places so much faith in you. She’s thru those doors, second room on the right.” As she lets go of my arm, she wraps her arms around me, hugs me, kisses my cheek and says, “Thank you for taking care of my baby.” I can feel the tears from her trickling onto my cheek as she brushes against me. And I also begin to cry.
The two of us stand there for several minutes, supporting each other silently. She finally lets go and pushes me towards the door.
I’m nervous as I walk into Ciaras recovery room. The last time I saw her she was lying on the floor at Danny’s and was unresponsive.
I make my way to her side and place my right hand in hers. With my left hand I reach up and place the palm against her cheek. She opens her eyes to me and weakly smiles. I lean to kiss her forehead.
“Ciara, I’m so glad you’re ok. I was so scared last night. Your doctor says everything is looking good. How do you feel.”
Ciaras voice is very soft. “Not the best I’ve been. I feel like I’ve been beaten with a bat. It hurts to breathe and to move.” She squeezes my hand. “Nat, what the hell happened last night? I don’t remember a damn thing. I remember starting to close up, you saying you needed to go use the bathroom, and then nothing until I woke up here.”
“C, I was in the bathroom and heard two loud bangs. I came out front and found you lying unconscious on the floor near the front entrance. I was hoping you would remember what happened. Danny’s getting the security video to the police, so we’ll know soon enough I guess.”
“Mom says you saved my life.”
“I wouldn’t go that far; I got some towels from the bar and applied pressure to the wounds until the ambulance got there. I just did what anyone would do.”
“Nat, thank you.” She whispers as she begins to cry.
I hold on to her hand and brush away the tears with my other hand. “It’s going to be ok, C, it’s going to be ok.”
I stay with her for a bit and then let her know that I’m going to go get her dad. I let her know that I need to go home and get some sleep, but that I’ll be back later in the day. She holds onto my hand, not wanting to let go. I like that demonstration on her part, but I’m done and need to get home and drop in bed.
True to Ardan’s word, his driver Sean gets me home. Once the door is closed, I burst into tears. I am a weeping mess of a soul. I have never experienced anyone being shot and seeing C lying on the floor scared the crap out of me. Nobody should have to see their best friend lying on the floor, unconscious due to the two bullet holes that had ripped thru her. My tears flowed heavily, and my emotions were shred raw.
Somehow, I find the way to my bed and after tossing for a while, I eventually fall into a deep sleep. I wake up around three in the afternoon and get cleaned up. I know it’s all mental, but I scrub myself and scrub myself over and over where the blood had touched me. In my mind’s eye, I couldn’t get the blood off my hands. When I am finally ready to head back to the hospital, I phone Sean to find that he is right outside my apartment building and is ready to take me back.
I arrive back at the hospital to find that they have moved Ciara to her room, and I make my way up to the floor where the room is located. There is a small waiting room a few doors down from her room and I find Ardan sitting in a chair. I walk over and sit down next to him.
“Well, hello, Natalia, you’re looking much better this afternoon.”
“I’m feeling much better, how’s Ciara doing?”
“She’s coming along better than the doctor was initially hoping. They’ve already gotten her up out of bed and moving around. She’s not moving fast, but she’s able to walk for longer than they thought she’d be able to at this point. She has had a little bit to eat and is getting plenty of fluids down. All good signs.”
“Have the police figured anything out at this point? Do they know why this happened?”
A dark cloud forms over Ardan and his face becomes quite stoic. “It was her ex-boyfriend. They pulled his picture from the video that Danny sent over and when they showed the picture to us, we knew who he was immediately. Nobody knows why. His roommates apparently haven’t seen him for the last couple of days, so the assumption is he drove out here to do this. They haven’t found him yet.”
“That’s horrible, what could have possessed him to do something like this to her?”
“I have no idea, Noelle and I never liked him. We were both glad Ciara finally left him. He had no right to do this to her and I will do everything in my power to ensure that he pays for what he’s done to my daughter. There is nowhere he can hide where I won’t find him and have him turned over to the police. Nowhere.”
I didn’t need to be a genius to understand Ardan would follow thru on his words. I take a mental note never to get on his bad side. When pushed, it appears Ardan is a formidable man. I knew that based on what Ciara has told me, but the expression leaves no doubt.
“Well, Natalia, lets’ move this conversation to happier topics. Why don’t you tell me more about yourself? Ciara always speaks so highly of you and talks about you constantly when we chat. I’d like to get to know you.”
I smile, now knowing how much Ciara valued our relationship. While I was crushing hard on her and dreamed of bigger things with her, I didn’t really know if I meant that much to her. Hearing her dad, I at least was high on the friends list. Prior to Ciara being shot, I had made up my mind to confront her, to cross that line and force a discussion on where we stood, letting her know I needed more than friendship. But with all that had just happened, I realize I’m blessed to have her in my life as a friend.
Putting those thoughts in a box, I begin talking to Arden and tell him the condensed version of my life’s story. Small town girl, longing for something more exciting and looking to leave for the big city. I mentioned that I played soccer (football) prior to college. That sidetracked the conversation as we talked about international teams and major league soccer here in the states.
At some point, Noelle joins us and lets us know that Ciara is napping again. Noelle joins the conversation, and it is obvious we all enjoy watching the game of soccer. Ciara has never displayed this level of passion with the game. Yes, she enjoys watching and talking about the sport, but her parents are truly animated during the conversation. It is patently obvious to anyone that they have definite opinions of various teams and players, and that they’re not always on the same page. I am happy to engage in the conversation with the two of them. It is taking our minds off of Ciara and gives all of us a common grounding point in getting to know each other. It’s also obvious that Noelle would occasionally goad on her husband. Attacking or challenging some point he was making and giving me a small wink while doing so. She would then smile as Ardan got animated responding to her point.
I enjoy watching the dynamics of Ardan and Noelle. They are both strong people, but there was genuine love and respect flowing between these two individuals. While the conversation would sometimes get loud, there was never any hard intent behind the words. It was more playful banter between the couple. They also freely showed their love for each other, a small touch here and there as the discussion played out. An easy playfulness that went with the conversation.
We had been chatting for close to an hour, when a nurse stops by to let us know that Ciara was awake again and asking for someone to be with her. Ardan and Noelle insist that I go see her as they had both spent time with her while I was home getting some sleep.
I make my way down to her room, when I enter, I am surprised at how much better she looks after a few short hours. Mind you, she’s not ready to run a marathon, but there is color back in her face. She smiles as she sees me enter the room. A genuine smile that told me I was welcome in her world.
“Hey, Nat,” she said softly. Her body was still healing, and you could see the energy it took for her to say those few words.
“Hey, yourself. You look better than you did this morning. And I mean that. You’ve got some color back in your cheeks and you actually smiled as I entered.”
“I’m not going to do any gymnastics, but I do feel better. The pain is nasty and their giving me some drugs for that, but I’ve been able to get up and walk around a little bit. That requires way too much energy.”
“Ok, so note to self, I’m going to need to slow down for you. If that’s all I have to do, I think we’ve got this.”
We easily slide back into our conversation pattern. Good discussion with a little ribbing thrown in to keep us both on our toes. I’m just so damn comfortable with her. I can see making a life with this woman. But I’m not going to open that conversation while she’s in the hospital.
*****
November
*****
Ciara’s parents had left town after a week. Getting her out of the hospital and getting her settled back at her apartment. They had stayed for a bit to make sure she was able to care for herself, but eventually had to make their way back to New York. C had also started attending classes again. She was piecing her life back together. She had some class work to catch up on and she was diving in to do so and make sure she could finish her classes.
Ciara and I are at her place for our regular Sunday get together. I’ve brought over lunch, and we are spending a relaxing afternoon together.
“Ciara, when do your parents get back for Thanksgiving?” They had made it clear when they left that they would travel out here and not make C travel. They would all spend the week out at Danny and Andrea’s place since C wouldn’t have classes the week of Thanksgiving.
“They’re actually going to arrive on the Friday before Thanksgiving. There are some big games going on that weekend, so Dad and Danny want to have as much time on the calendar as possible to watch. It can get pretty loud when those two are cheering on a game, so be prepared.”
“Ahem, I’m no wallflower myself.” I say with great indignity. “It’ll be nice to watch the games with someone who gets passionate about their team.”
“Hey, that’s not fair, I enjoy watching a match, I just don’t need to yell and scream while I’m doing it.”
“Are you sure Danny and Andrea are ok with me staying out at their place? I know I’ll be gone most of the days at work, but I don’t want to put them out.”
“Yeah. It’s all good. They have plenty of space and they love having you around. They realize you still have to work but want you to be there in the evenings.”
“Well, my folks are off to see my dad’s parents, so it’s nice to have somewhere to be instead of sitting home alone at my place.”
“Silly, Nat. You know you’re always welcome at Danny and Andrea’s. They pretty much consider you a part of the family at this point.”
“Cool. I just don’t want to intrude on your family time.”
We continued to enjoy the lazy afternoon. I wasn’t going out to Danny and Andreas for dinner tonight, I had a deadline coming up on a project at work and needed to spend the evening on my computer.
Thanksgiving
Danny and Andrea’s place is alive with the sounds of family. The football (American) games are on and even though it is not their beloved football (soccer), Danny and Ardan are cheering and yelling at the screen and enjoying the day.
Andrea, Noelle, C and I alternate between watching the game and giving the boys space. We spend time in the sitting area out by the piano or in the kitchen prepping the food. Occasionally, Danny wanders in to help or Ardan tries to sneak thru to steal some food.
We had decided on doing a light lunch with the main course spread out that evening for dinner. I had asked Andrea if it would be ok for me to make my families traditional stuffing and a pumpkin cheesecake. So last night, I had made the cheesecake and it was resting in the fridge until dinner. While the turkey was cooking, I make my families traditional stuffing. It was made with a mix of pork and Italian sausage which gives it an exceptional flavor. There is no Thanksgiving for me without the traditional family stuffing!
Soon, all the food is prepared, and everyone is helping to move trays of food into the dining room. C and I sat across from her parents and Danny and Andrea sat at either end of the table. Danny had taken several leaves out of the table, so it ended up being an intimate setting for the six of us.
Stories are told, drinks are had, and the conversation flows until we are all well and stuffed. My cheeks physically hurt from the laughter. And more than once, I see Ciara holding her abdomen. The act of laughing causing her wounded muscles a little discomfort. The healing continues.
The atmosphere between Ciara and I hasn’t skipped a beat. We enjoy spending time together and after the shooting, I have suppressed any thought of broaching my discomfort with where our relationship is and my need for more. In this time and place, I needed for C to be healthy.
After dinner, we head to their theater room, and we watch Scrooged. This was my suggestion; it had been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. Ciara and I are seated next to each other on one of the oversized love seats facing the screen. We had a large, oversized blanket thrown over us and were snuggled in next to each other.
Again, the subtle scent of cherry blossoms begins to work its magic on me. That scent has permanently been etched into my mind. I now associated it specifically to Ciara. It comforts me and it arouses me at the same time. She has no idea of the effect she has on me.
I burn with desire but refuse to let myself take any action down that road. She needs me as her friend, and I have yet to tell her how I feel. I don’t know if it will end our bond or make us stronger, but I’m not willing to go there while she is still recovering from the gunshot wounds. So, I satisfy myself, by watching her watch the movie and enjoy seeing the emotions sweep over her as the movie plays out on the screen.
Soon the evening ends and we all head to our respective bedrooms. I’m sleeping across from Ciara and it takes everything in me not to sneak into her room.
I toss and turn most of the night, sleep will not come to visit me. My thoughts are fixated on the blonde across the hall from me, her face, the sound of her laughter, the way her hair moves when she walks across the room, sitting across from her discussing a lecture she had attended. Spending time with her is amping up the internal desire that I feel.
I get thru Friday – I didn’t work, so I spend the whole day at Danny and Andrea’s place with the family. But by Saturday, the emotional tension is too high for me and I make a lame excuse about needing to get some work done and I extract myself from the gathering. Ciara does everything in her power to try and get me to stay, but I just can’t do it. As much as I want to be there for her, the internal churn is ripping me apart.
I spend Saturday at my apartment crying. My mind is falling apart as I struggle with Ciara and try to figure out a path forward for the two of us. She is not a lesbian, has never expressed any thought that would lead me to think that she is a lesbian or that she is bi. Yet here I am deeply in love with her and wondering how I make her notice me.
Sunday is not much better, but I finally convince myself that it’s time to sit down with Ciara and have a serious talk. I know she is headed into finals, and I don’t want to screw that up for her, so I make the decision that I will wait until she is done with her tests and then I will open this conversation. Until then, I need to hold myself in check. Either that moment would crush me, or I would be transformed into the happiest woman on the face of the earth.
Ciara has been texting me non-stop since yesterday. I’ve been playing the work card and telling her that I need to concentrate on getting this part of the project completed. She doesn’t believe me, but I’m sticking to my story. For now, I must play the game as much for my own sanity as for anything else.
Monday
I check in with Anna after getting to work. She is more than generous with her time. She sees that I’m hurting, and she once again listens to my story. She lets me talk and cry – mostly cry, she’s heard the story before and gives me the same advice. Talk to Ciara.
For the remainder of the day, and the week, I throw myself into my work. I put myself into the zone and I crank out code. I get in early; I work late. I text Ciara but find an excuse not to see her the following Sunday. She’s then into finals and must buckle down herself to get thru the tests being thrown at her.
*****
December
*****
The Week Prior to Christmas
Ciara is done with her tests and I’m no longer able to hold things in. When not distracted with work, I’m falling apart. My emotions are all over the place. I miss my best friend and I want it to be so much more. I’m afraid she will reject me and I’ll lose it all. I’m afraid that when I tell her she’ll never want to see me again or talk with me again. I’m afraid that I’ll never see her smile, the laughter in her eyes when she is happy.
I have no choice, and I know it. I text her on Thursday asking if we can get together that night. She hasn’t worked at Danny’s since the shooting. So, I ask if I can pick up some food and bring it by her place for dinner when I’m done at work. She doesn’t hesitate to let me know that, yes, she would love to see me and have one of our girl nights.
The rest of the day, I’m distracted. I really do try to get some work done, but it’s no use. My mind is constantly sorting thru what I’m going to say and what Ciara’s reaction will be. I play out the scene over and over in my mind. But at the end of the day, I have no better idea on how this will play out than I did when I woke this morning.
I finally leave work and pickup Italian on my way to her place. Both of us love pasta as comfort food and I have a feeling I’m going to need comfort food tonight.
When I arrive at Ciara’s place, I climb the stairs to her apartment. Each step taking more effort than the last step. By the time I reach her door, I feel as if there is a vice around my chest restricting my ability to breathe. The sense of dread is cloaked around me as my hand reaches out to open the door.
Ciara must have heard me as she is standing at the end of the small hall with a smile lighting up the space. That smile alone warms me and pushes back the harsh feelings that have clung to me the past couple of weeks. I step into her home, realizing that one way or another tonight will be a pivotal moment in my life.
I barely make it in and close the door when Ciara wraps her arms around me and gives me a hug. The worlds best hug.
“I’ve missed you Nat! Thanks for picking up dinner and coming over tonight.”
“I’ve missed your too, C. How was the last test?”
“Brutal, Professor Alans study guide didn’t cover half the material on the test. There was no way anyone did well on that test. It’s a good thing that he uses a curve. I don’t know why teachers do this, just write the test over material that we studied. It’s not that hard. Wish I could say the situation is unique to him, but it seems like I get one of them every semester.”
“Yeah, I remember those days and I’m glad I’m not having to deal with it anymore.”
We make our way to the kitchen where C grabs the fine china. Paper plates anyone? And we dish out the food and eat our dinner. Thru dinner we talk about the end of the semester and where she thinks she is going to end up grade wise, as I share stories about the latest project that I’m working on.
Once dinner is done, we move to her couch and continue the conversation. I’m no longer able to delay this talk. It is time to confront my fears and time for Ciara to understand what she means to me.
“C, how you doing now? Recovery wise, where you at?”
“I’m doing ok. I’m not ready to go back downstairs and work yet – still things playing in my mind that make it uncomfortable. Luckily Danny and Andrea haven’t even asked me to do that. At first getting back on campus I was a little skittish. Loud noises would trigger mini panic attacks. I think I’m over that now. The toughest part is sleeping. I keep having these images pop into my dreams, I can see the guy, but I can’t see the guy. It’s weird, especially knowing that it was the asshole that shot me. I still can’t remember what happened. But I think I’m getting better. My therapist agrees, for whatever that’s worth.”
“C, I need to talk to you about something. It’s a serious something, but I want to make sure you’re ready for the conversation. I don’t want to say or do anything that’s going to hurt you. But this is a hard conversation for me.”
“Nat, you can never hurt me. Period. I’ll admit, I’ve been wondering what is going on in that head of yours. Your hightailing it out after Thanksgiving isn’t like you. If there’d really been a work issue, you would have told me before Thanksgiving. But you didn’t bring anything of the sort up until you were running out the door. Somethings up and if you don’t come clean, I’ll make it my mission to work it out of you.”
“It’s all related and I don’t know where to start.” I could feel my eyes starting to mist. The reality of having to tell her is hard. “I’ve had to really think thru how to talk to you about this.”
“Start at the beginning, Nat. Let me in and tell me what’s going on that has you so worked up. I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is. You’ve become my best friend and I want to help you.”
I blurt out, “C, I love you.”
“I love you too, silly. Now out with it.”
I’m starting to really cry now; the tears are flowing freely. It takes everything in me to whisper, “No, C. I love you. I’ve loved you since you bounced out the door downstairs to take my drink order the first time we met. I love the way you speak, the light Irish accent in your voice, the way your roll your R’s. I love the sparkle in your eyes when you’re happy. I love the dimples in your cheeks when you smile and laugh. I love the way your hair moves when you casually walk across the room. I love the determination you have when you’re speaking about something you care about. I. Love. You! Not as your friend, I love you and want to be more than your friend, I want us to be ‘us’, as in a couple. I want to share everything with you. I want to be with you, today, tomorrow and forever. I’ve never met someone like you, and I need you in my life.”
Ciara sat next to me, her mouth hanging open. Her eyes drilling into me. Her head tilted slightly to her side. She is studying me while she is processing what I’ve just said.
I continue on with my confession, “Ciara, I thought I could just be your friend, but I can’t. I’m emotionally and physically drawn to you in ways I never thought possible. I think of you constantly. I wonder what your day is like, how your classes are going, whether you are in any pain because of the shooting. I wonder what you’re having for lunch and dinner. I wonder if you’ve crawled into bed. I am drawn to you, and I need more than your friendship. I don’t want to lose you, but not being love you the way that I want to is tearing me apart inside. I really don’t want to lose you Ciara. I will take it slow; I just need to know it’s possible. I need to know there is the chance for a you and I to be together.”
“Nat, I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure how to process this.” She’s not angry, but she has a confused look in her face.
“Don’t process it C, just tell me what you are feeling. Have I ruined everything?”
“I love you too, Nat. But I don’t know if I can be more than a friend. I’ve never considered getting into a relationship with another girl. I’ve always thought of myself as straight. I admit, I’ve never gotten as close to someone as quickly as the two of us became friends. It seemed like we met and things just clicked and I knew I could trust you.”
“You can trust me. You can always trust me. I’m just asking for you to consider the possibility of taking it to the next step. That’s all I want. I’m not asking you to strip naked and jump into bed with me. I just needed to tell you and let you know. And I need to know if you think there is anything there.”
“Nat, this is not something I can just answer. My whole life I’ve thought I needed a boyfriend. I’ve never even considered the possibility that mister right is a miss. You’re asking me to redefine who I’ve always been.”
“No, no, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m just asking you to think about it, to not shut the possibility out of your life that you and I could date, that I could be your girlfriend.”
“Nat, this is crazy. Where is this coming from, you know I’m straight.”
The air is pulled out of my lungs. The tears come quickly. I’ve screwed up. I’m losing my best friend, I’m losing the woman that I want to love.
“C, I’ve got to leave.” As the tears pour from my soul, I stand and walk out her door. I’ve made a complete mess of things. I suck.
Ciara tries to stop me, but I’m a lost cause at this point. I’ve been rejected. I’ve lost my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime. At some point, this may make sense, but not tonight.
Christmas
Whoa does today suck. I mean does it really suck. Christmas day is in the middle of the week, and since I’m new on the job, I don’t have a lot of vacation time. I made the decision to stay put, thinking that I would drive home over the weekend to spend some time with my parents. But sitting home alone blows.
Ciara had tried to reach out to me several times, but I hadn’t responded to any of her texts. Truth be told, I hadn’t read any of the texts yet. The pain was real, it cut thru me and scarred me deeply. I had met my soul mate; we were compatible on so many levels. Yet it could never be, she was straight and could never love me the way that I loved her. Thinking of her was excruciating.
Anna had tried to console me, but I wasn’t in the mood to listen. She had actually invited me to her place to spend the day. I had politely refused. Apparently, I had made the executive decision that wallowing in self-pity was the proper way to spend Christmas.
Staring out the windows of my apartment, I watched a light snow fall from the sky. It was beautiful, but I was too distracted to really appreciate the picture being painted for me.
I call my parents and talk with them for about an hour. Anna calls later in the day to check up on me. I feign that all is good in the world, I don’t think I’ve fooled anyone.
New Year’s Eve
I had spent the weekend at my folks. Mom had provided the shoulder as I cried. Ok, most of the crying was over by the time I got home. But there were still a few tears bottled up inside that would only be released in the presence of Mom and Dad. They did what every loving parent would do, they listened to me, they consoled me, they told me I was loved, they reassured me it wasn’t the end of the world and that I would find someone to share my life with. I can’t say I’m back to normal, but I feel like I have a compass pointing me in the right direction again.
The office is closed for New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, so I have a couple of days to get thru and then I can throw myself into work and try and put all of this behind me.
Even though the temps are cold, I force myself out for a run after I wake up. The cold air is surprisingly refreshing, and I run a little longer than I had originally planned. I chew up the sidewalk underneath my feet and each movement seems to shed a little of the weight off my shoulders. While cold, the sun is shining bright, and it seems to lift me. To wash the burdens off me and to cleanse me.
I’m breathing hard as I take the last corner and slow down to walk and do a mini cool down at the end of my run. As I’m approaching the door, I see her standing in the doorway to the apartment building. She is looking straight at me, there is no way I am going to escape her. The smile on my face fades as I watch her, watching me. The pain begins to build again, that sharp knife digging into my gut.
“Nat, we need to talk.”
“Ciara, can we not do this. I got the message; you don’t want me. You don’t look at me that way. I’m trying to move on with my life. We don’t need to talk about this. I get it.”
“No, you don’t get it. Would you lower the freakin walls for a moment and let me talk? Last time you did all the talking. I need to have my turn. Damnit, Nat, you don’t get to treat me like this. If I’m as important as you said the other night, I at least get a turn to tell you a few things.”
I move past her to the door, “Fine, lets at least get out of the cold.”
Taking the stairs, there is a stoney silence. My mind is in a tailspin again, heading to dark places. Just when I thought it was safe to start piecing my life back together, she was there. So not what I needed right now. I had convinced myself that I was starting to breathe again, just to be slapped in the face and shown that I was still vulnerable. The universe is a cruel mistress.
I open the door to my place and let us both in. She moves towards the couch and flops down in her usual spot. I wasn’t in the mood to be accommodating, after taking off my running jacket. I slide into one of the chairs across from the couch.
“Ok, what is it you need to say.” My eyes darting everywhere but to her.
“Well, for starters, how dare you. How dare you start that conversation and then leave without letting me answer. How dare you have that conversation and then not allow me to talk to you about what I’m feeling. How dare you not respond to me when I tried to text you or call you. Nat, you became my best friend when I moved here. I have shared everything with you. You probably saved my life after I got shot. Without you around, nobody would have been there and there’s a good chance I could have bled out on the floor. I have shared everything with you. You drop that on me and then you walk out and won’t even allow me to try to talk to you about it. That’s not right!”
“Ciara, what’s there to talk about. You made it quite clear, you’re straight. I get it, you don’t see yourself in a relationship with me. You don’t want me the way that I need you.”
“Damn, would you quit being so stubborn! That’s a lot you dropped on me that night. Answer this, how long did it take you to figure out your sexuality? How long before you admitted it to someone? How long before you were able to tell your friends?”
Uh, oh, truth bomb. She’s not playing fair. Suddenly the world is tilting a little bit and I’m a little unsure of where she is taking this conversation.
“Natalia Giordano, just who do you think you are telling me how you feel about me, telling me that you love me, and then not giving me time to process that and figure out what it means to me! You drop that on me and then shut me out. Did you really think you were going to tell me that and I was immediately going to change who I was? Did you take any time to think thru what you did to me, or was this about you?”
I sheepishly reply, “I was hurting C, I had this bottled up for so long, I saw the look in your eyes, and I saw that you didn’t want me. I knew you were rejecting me, and I had to leave. I’ve been a complete mess the last couple of weeks. I can’t help the way I feel about you.”
“If you’ll keep quiet for a few minutes, I’d like to tell you what my last couple of weeks have been like.”
She is staring at me, that fierce look in her eyes and I’m extremely uncomfortable. I can’t tell what her next move is going to be, whether she wants to hurt me or hug me. But the expression on her face is stern, fierce. She’s right though, damnit! She deserves this chance to tell me her side of the story. I’d walked out once I saw that look in her eyes and never gave her a chance. I owe her the decency to listen to her, no matter how much it is going to hurt.
I nod my head and softly acknowledge her, “Go ahead C, you’re right.”
“Your damn right I’m right.”
Queue the dramatic pause. As I watch her, I see the internal struggle. She is nervous, she is angry. But she is doing everything she can to keep herself composed for the coming conversation.
She begins, “Natalia, you are the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time. I have not had a lot of luck in the friends department and my boyfriends have all treated me like shite. Hence the two wounds in my body. My parents have warned me along the way, but I always know better. A lot of good that’s done for me. I have very few friends because I’ve learned along the way not to trust people – because I usually end up getting hurt. My boyfriends have been abusive – either mentally or physically. The last one did a number on me. First verbally, undermining me every chance he got. Getting between me and my girlfriends. Cheating on me. And finally, by shooting me – twice.”
She stands and begins to pace as she is talking. “The boyfriend prior to that broke my arm. I haven’t dated since moving out here because I’m done with all of it. I can’t take another man hurting me. I must break the cycle before something worse happens to me. My parents were right all along, and I should have listened to them years ago when they began to warn me.”
She stops right in front of me and looks down at me, “Natalia, you have been my rock since I moved out here. I had forgotten what having a good friend means to me. I trusted you. I grew close to you. And because of your little stunt two weeks ago, I’ve lost my confidant, my best friend. There is a hole in my life I haven’t been able to fill.”
I look up at her, tears starting to stream down my face.
“Without knowing it, you gave me room to become me again. Not once since we started hanging out have, I felt threatened, ok, scratch that, while I don’t remember getting shot, I’m pretty sure I felt threatened when that asshole pointed the gun at me. But you, you make me feel safe. Without saying a word, you have given me permission to live again. I know Danny and Andrea were worried about me when I moved to town. But once they saw me with you, they told me that their fears evaporated.”
“The last couple of weeks, I’ve been struggling. Fighting demons that are personal and cultural. I was thrown into the deep end of the pool. Your words slapped me upside the head and forced me to answer some very personal questions that I think I’d been hiding from. I assumed my parents would disown me if admitted the truth. I assumed Danny and Andrea would kick me out and never speak to me again. My life turned into a hurricane of truths that I wasn’t ready to process. All because of you, Natalia. All because of the questions you asked me that night.”
I looked away from her, afraid of this conversation. Afraid of the words she spoke.
“My mom was the one who finally broke thru to me. I had flown home for Christmas, and she knew something was wrong. I’m sure Andrea told her I’d been crying nonstop since that night. I didn’t fly out until that Sunday, and she and Danny had seen me. They both new I was fighting something, but I was too stubborn to tell them. Hell, I was too afraid to talk to them.”
She once again started pacing around the room. “Natalia, my relationships sucked because I was hiding from myself. And with you, I didn’t need to hide, but I wasn’t smart enough to recognize what was happening. You dropped into my life and became my anchor. I felt so comfortable with you. Mom was the one who finally got me to see that. She talked me thru that whirlwind that I didn’t understand, that I was failing to comprehend. She had suspected for a long time; she and Dad had talked about it. They had talked about it with Danny and Andrea. But nobody clued me in on their discussions. They figured it out before I did. Danny and Andrea tried to talk to me before I left for home, but I wouldn’t listen. Seems like the two of us have the ability to shut down those we don’t want to hear from. Shut down those that are closest to us.”
I felt my face blush, as she called me out on a tactic I had used my entire life. She fought dirty, but she was good.
Ciara came over once again and knelt in front of me. When she spoke, it came out as a whisper, “Nat, I couldn’t say it that night because I didn’t know it that night. Ok, correction, in my heart I knew, but my head hadn’t caught up to my heart. I suck at relationships with men, because I don’t want to be with a man. Because I thought it was expected I would date a man and I never questioned it. After your bombshell, my brain was being torn apart as I tried to fit the pieces together. Natalia Giordano, I love you. I love you more than I think you can possibly know. You probably had me at hello, but I was too idiotic to actually see what was right in front of me because I had conditioned myself to think something else about who I was.”
“You told me all of the things that made you love me. How about I love you because you make me feel safe. I love you because you complete me. I love you because I can be me around you. I love your laugh. I love your smile. I love everything about you. Check that, one of us is going to have to learn to be a little less stubborn.”
She slowly lifted her hands and placed them on my cheeks, cupping my face. “Natalia, I love you! I want this, I want you, I want my bestie back.”
She slowly leaned in, and her lips touched mine. An explosion rocked my world. Her lips were soft, gently pressing against mine. I had kissed before, but it was nothing like this. Her simple gesture was more than a first kiss. It sealed a bond between the two of us, never to be broken. It sent signals out to my body that I never knew existed. The nerve endings across my body went on high alert, my sense of smell was heightened as I breathed in that scent of light cherry blossoms that I had become so familiar with. The fire inside of me erupted. I kissed her back with a sense of peace, passion and energy that I had never felt before in my short life.
As she leaned back from the kiss, a smile formed on her face. The dimples were evident – God they were sexy. Her eyes were lit with passion. She hadn’t thrown me away.
I sit there in stunned silence. This is not how I imagined this day; this is not how I imagined this discussion when seeing her on my doorstep. She had surprised me in ways I couldn’t believe.
“Ciara O’Shae, are you telling me what I think your telling me?”
“Yes, Nat. I love you. Can we be friends and lovers?” The smile on her face got even bigger and her eyes shone like a thousand candles. The dimples on her cheeks were as deep as I’d ever seen them.
I leapt out of the chair throwing my arms around her as I tackled her to the floor. “God, yes!”
I held on to her, that’s all I need in this moment. I just needed to hold her. It takes me several minutes, but I realize that I am still in my running clothes. I begin to separate myself from her.
She looks at me, “And where do you think you’re going?”
“C, I love you, but I’m kinda gross from running. Sorry for tackling you, but now that I’m remembering that I probably smell like a wet cat, I need to get cleaned up.”
She chuckles. “Ok, you’re excused.”
I lean down and give her a kiss. There’s that explosion again! Then I stand up to head back to my bedroom and get cleaned up. In the bathroom, I start the shower running and then strip down. As I’m waiting for the shower to warm up, I look in the mirror and pinch myself to make sure this is actually happening. Yep, the pinch is real, this is happening.
A smile spreads across my face as I step into the shower. I face the shower head and let the water run over my body. I’m not there long when I feel someone moving in behind me. I turn around and there is Ciara, in all her beauty, standing in the shower with me. Naked as a newborn.
She is the one to close the distance between us and leans in to kiss me, standing on her tippy toes. It is just as powerful as the first kiss, even more intense as our bodies are physically touching. I feel her breasts pressing into me and I feel my breasts pressed into her. My nipples coming to attention and stiffening under the assault of her sensuality. I could stand like this forever.
Soon, my tongue slips forward and seeks permission to enter her mouth. Her lips move and create a slight opening. That’s all I need as my tongue plunges forward. Her tongue begins to battle with mine as we both seek dominance within the small space of our mouths. I’m holding nothing back as I kiss this woman.
My hands begin to explore her body, but she stops me.
“Nat, as much as I want you, I don’t want our first time to be in the shower. Let me help you clean up and then we can head to the bedroom.” With that she takes my loofah sponge, soaps it up and begins to wash my body. She takes her time exploring every inch of my body as she lathers me up. Spinning me in place to get my back, reaching around to tease my breasts as she leisurely cleans me. Every touch sending a spark thru my body to my sex. I realize I’m in the shower, but I’m getting wet in more than one way.
Even though she doesn’t need to get soaped up, as she finishes me. She hands me the loofah. I squeeze more of my soap onto the sponge and begin to work her body. She is gorgeous. Even wet, her thick mane of hair still frames her face and if anything, the ringlets get tighter. Her green eyes sparkle as I begin to run the sponge over her body. It is obvious that I’m not the only one aroused as her nipples have extended and hardened. They are easily wider than my index finger and jut forward. Light pinkish areoles circling the nipples. It is at this moment that I notice that her sex is completely bare. I spend what seems like hours exploring her body as I run the loofah over every inch of her. My dreams did nothing compared to the reality of standing next to her naked.
Soon we finish and we help dry each other. Both of us are amped up as we quickly complete this cleansing ritual. With me finally grabbing her hand and leading her to my bed.
The sun is streaming thru the window as I lay her down on the bed. I climb up on top of the bed and straddle her hips. The center of my sex lowering itself over hers. I can sense the heat from her mixing with my own. I’m certain that I’m beginning to leak some fluids just sitting on top of her and looking down at her. She is beauty defined, heart, mind and soul,I will do everything to make her happy.
The sunlight makes it appear as if her hair is spun gold. I lower my face to hers and begin to kiss her again. Yes, I’m kissing Ciara and it is just as wonderful as when she first placed her lips to mine a short time ago. I find it intoxicating. The energy arcing between our bodies feeds my soul. This beautiful woman transports me to a higher dimension, the colors are brighter, the fragrance of her perfume stronger, the touch of her skin electrifying.
As she responds to my affection, I move to nuzzle her neck. Nipping lightly and kissing every sensuous bit of flesh, working my way towards her ear lobe. I suckle the lobe and gently nibble. All the while telling her how much I love her, how beautiful she is and how happy she makes me in this world. I worship her body, taking my sweet time making love to all of her.
I leave her neck and sit up, taking her hands in my hands and raising her arms. I suckle each finger, licking the tips and placing each in my mouth one at a time to gently suck. I move up each arm, kissing and exploring. She is now grinding against me as I shower her with my loving devotion.
I leave her arms to find her breasts. Her nipples taught, on fire, swollen and extended. I purse my lips and gently blow across her nipples – taking turns to make sure each is loved. I take each nipple between my lips, allowing my tongue to swirl the nipple as I apply suction. Her hips are rocking up and down, back and forth. She is grabbing my ass and grinding into me as I play her body.
I take my time, slowly admiring her body. Enjoying every moment, every bit of flesh that I’m able to see, touch and explore. Her muscles ripple under her skin, responding to each movement I make, each delectable bit of worship that she feels in my love for her.
I leave her breasts and work my way down her stomach. Her breath is shallow, she is calling my name as I continue my explorations. I will not be rushed. I lovingly use my tongue to explore the muscles of her abdomen, finding my way to her belly button. Such a sexy little belly button – an inny. I tongue fuck her belly button as my hands reach back up to massage her breasts and just lightly tweak and pinch those massive nipples. She wraps her legs around me, ensuring that I will not escape, as if I would ever want to. Her hands beginning to push on my shoulders, directing me down.
My tongue continues its exploration. Finding every feature of this beautiful soul beneath me. I take my time to memorize every contour, every rise and fall of her muscles. The universe guided her into my life. She brings joy, peace, harmony to my soul.
Her essence mixes with her normal perfume, the sweet smell of cherry blossoms. It is intoxicating. It drives me to continue my explorations as I make my way further down her body. I bypass the center of her sexual being and spend time on those little stems of hers. Her legs are beautiful, defined, muscular, yet soft and sensual. I’ve always been a leg woman and her legs don’t disappoint. I lavish each of her legs with kisses. She keeps trying to maneuver her legs to lock me in and pull me towards her. I resist and find ways to play with her, building her desire as I worship these lovely stems. Kissing, licking, massaging. As I try to help her find nirvana, I’m in my own heaven making love to her body.
As I make my way back up her right thigh, I make the decision to finally give her what she is pleading for. I’m inches from her, I can see every fold of her lips. They are larger than mine and quite lubricated from her natural juices. She is drenched, the juices seeping from her. I purse my lips and gently blow across her sex. Her hips buck up and towards me. Her legs lock around me and draw me closer. I continue to gently blow across her sex. She finally grabs my head and pulls me into her. I stick my tongue out as contact is made and it dives between her lips. I look up, her head is thrown back. She’s calling out, singing my name.
I guide my tongue along her velvety lips. Sucking in the juices that leak from her body. Up one side, down the other, up the center splitting her engorged lips. I begin to softly hum, providing another sensory enhancement for my love. Her hips begin to take me for a ride. I’m locked on following her movements as she bucks and thrashes her hips and reaches for the peak. My lips wrap around her nub and I increase the intensity of sucking on her clit. At the same time, I take my middle two fingers and gently insert, slowly, slipping into her wonderful body. She is slippery but tight around my fingers. As I reach full penetration, I curl my fingers up to find that little spot inside of her that will finish my mission.
My fingers begin to tap against her g-spot. My mouth is fixed to her, sucking on her clit. I continue to hum, so that I create vibrations that enhance what she is sensing. My other hand reaches up and rubs her breast, my finger tweaking her nipple. The tapping motion of my fingers inside of her increases in intensity. I’m not giving her any room. I’m using everything I have to build this moment, to feed her body and provide her pleasure.
Her thighs press in against my head. She is beginning to scream now as her body stiffens. One last lunge of her hips and she unleashes. Her legs begin to twitch and then suddenly a gush of liquid shoots from her sex. Drenching my face and splashing off me down onto the sheets. I’ve never had a girlfriend that squirted, and I’m momentarily surprised at the results of our passion. I quickly lower my mouth and attempt to capture her essence as she unleashes more of herself. I swallow what I can, but it is coming in long spurts and I’m not able to swallow it all.
Ciara collapses back down on the bed; she is gasping for breath. Her thighs unlock and release my head. I slow the movements of my fingers but let them linger in her. Slowly moving and massaging those lovely walls as she comes down, back to me. I rest my other hand on her abdomen as she struggles to catch her breath.
As she recovers, I speak to her, “Ciara, I love you. I will be yours forever, if you let me. I will show you every day that you are special and that you deserve love and happiness.”