(This story is the third in the X series, and is intended to be read after “Xhalation” and “Xcogitate”.)
“Xemplify”
Kev flinched at the sound of the knock on the door. Not just any old knock-he was used to greeting people at odd hours, people who maybe had a little bit of what you might call an urgency to their presence at his old town house in the middle of the night. Kev opened the door for people like that with a grin and a wave, his eyes bleary behind his thick round glasses but his smile warm and genuine. Late night people were Kev’s kind of people.
But this was one of those knocks. Kev had gotten a little too used to them over the past few months, the sound of a fist swinging at the end of an arm that didn’t quite understand how bodies moved anymore. A harsh, arrhythmic thud that smacked into his reinforced outer door over and over again, pounding with grim patience until he finally responded. Kev could almost imagine that if he didn’t answer, they’d keep beating against the wooden surface until they broke every bone in their hand. He didn’t think that would stop them.
Another knock. Then another, coming faster than usual. Kev sprang to his feet, his fingers worrying their way through his patchy, mousy brown beard as he staggered over to the security camera he’d installed after his first break-in. Kev had never really planned to become a drug dealer-it was a career he’d very much stumbled into by happenstance, and he’d learned most of what he knew through trial and error. And one of the big things he learned was that when dealing with addicts, you couldn’t trust anyone.
There were two of them outside. Kev recognized Rowan, one of his regulars, and another woman, a Caucasian with blonde hair that he didn’t recognize. No, wait. He did recognize her. She was with Rowan on her last visit, when the exotic dancer pulled up in a car that was practically begging to be stolen and rolled into Kev’s waiting room with a wad of cash that she could barely get her fingers around and bought pretty much every last drop of X he had in the building.
He had a bad feeling about that deal when he was making it, but Kev knew better than to argue with a customer. If he didn’t sell them their shit, someone else would, and one of the quickest ways to make an addict hostile was to make them think you were holding out on them. Kev had a few nasty scars from making a trial of that particular error. Rowan and… what was her name, Betty? They were either going to handle their shit or they weren’t. He wasn’t their dad.
Judging by the way they were hammering on his door, they hadn’t. He didn’t know how much X they’d taken, but judging by their wardrobe, it was a hell of a lot. Rowan had apparently pulled on a very stylish brown Burberry overcoat and absolutely nothing else, and Betty/Betsy had draped herself in a 1000-count linen sheet that she’d seemingly dragged through more than a few puddles on her way here. Kev had to imagine that they came on foot-not only did it explain the mud clinging to their toes, but they both looked like they didn’t even know what a car was anymore, let alone how to drive it.
Well, fuck. And Kev liked Rowan, too. She was always good for a little company while she smoked, and at least a handjob depending on what she was on at the time. With a sigh, Kev pulled on a robe over his pale, skinny body and trotted downstairs to answer the door.
He went out into the waiting room, feeling the outline of the gun in his pocket to make sure it was still there. Not that he’d ever met a violent X-head, but there was always something about the way a truly dedicated X addict moved that unnerved and unsettled Kev. They had an awkward, ungainly gait, like they had climbed into the wrong bodies and needed to relearn how to perform basic motor functions. They jerked around every time they moved, their heads lolled and settled into odd positions… it just felt like they were always about to freak right the fuck out, even if none of them ever had.
Finally, after sliding back five deadbolts, Kev flung open the door. “Rowan!” he said, fixing them with an overly bright smile that emphasized his anxiety rather than hiding it. “And, um, Betsy!” If he was wrong, she didn’t correct him. She only lumbered through the door, her legs alternately too stiff and too rubbery to make the motion natural. He closed the door behind them, hoping he wasn’t making a mistake by sliding the bolts back home.
“It’s so good to see you again!” he said with forced cheer, keeping as much distance as he could between himself and them as he circled back around toward the other door. “Been, what, two days since I saw you last? Don’t tell me you went through your whole supply already, huh?” He held his breath, hoping to hear a ‘no’-he didn’t really believe it would happen, not when they both looked like they were right about at the point of no return, but Kev couldn’t help crossing his fingers a little in the privacy of his own head.
They looked at him with eyes that were sea green where the whites should be. Then at each other. Then back at him. “We. Need. X,” they said in near-unison. Their voices warbled in strange, affectless dissonance, as though someone was sitting at a keyboard full of words and hunt-and-pecking away for the ones they needed to communicate. It didn’t sound like a sentence at all. It barely even sounded like speech. Kev could imagine someone programming an old synthesizer and coming out with a sound like that.
Well, fuck. Again. Kev ran his fingers through his grungy, matted dreadlocks, pretending to be lost in thought for a moment. “X, huh?” he said, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice and utterly failing. “Well, I don’t have a lot at the moment-you cats kind of bought me out lock, stock and barrel last time you were here. I tell you what, you come on back into my office and I’ll see what I can do for you, okay?” He took them both by the hand and ushered them quickly into his back room, closing and locking the door before they had a chance to say anything further. He half expected them to start pounding on it, but they seemed content to wait now that they knew he was trying to secure them a further supply.
“Shit,” he muttered, pacing rapidly down the hallway to the doorway that led into his basement lab. “Shit shit shit shit shit!” Kev hated bringing unstable people into the private smoking room he called his office, but he didn’t want to take a chance on anyone coming in and seeing the two of them blasted out of their fucking gourds on X in his house. He could feel the pressure closing in on him like a vise, making him jittery and tense. Had anyone seen them come here? They probably left muddy footprints all the way up the sidewalk, he’d have to hope that the weather took care of those before tomorrow morning.
“Shit!” He didn’t even know who the other woman was, Betsy/Betty/Becky. Was she someone important? Rowan probably wouldn’t be missed, women like that cut and ran all the time. But if Becky/Betsy was someone who held down a steady job or something, and they started looking for her… she looked like the kind of woman that news networks masturbated over, upper-class and white and just the kind of vulnerable that they could spend hours talking about on CNN. Kev racked his brain, trying to remember who else was around when Rowan brought her over the first time. Was it anyone who could identify her? Was it anyone who would talk to a cop?
Kev checked the still-he hadn’t exactly been lying when he told the women that he didn’t have much X on hand at the moment. His suppliers had barely managed enough to fill three cartridges over the last couple of days, and he’d already sold two of those. He slipped the remaining one into his pocket, the back of his neck itching as if he expected at any second to hear them behind him asking him if he was holding out on them in those strange, toneless voices of theirs. God, he should have just fucking told them he was out. Let Willie or Leon or Harry Saperstein sell them some.
Maybe it wasn’t too late, Kev told himself as he exited the lab. He turned right and headed back up the stairs, doggedly refusing to look behind him at the cellar door another flight of stairs down from the basement. Maybe he could just go back into the office, tell Rowan and Betty/Becky that he was all out after all, convince them to just chill out for a little bit while he made more and see if they didn’t come down in a few hours. Maybe they weren’t past the point of no return after all. Hell, Kev wasn’t a doctor. Maybe they just needed a little time. Maybe-
Kev opened the door to find the two women lounging on one of the bean bag chairs, their arms wrapped around each other and their lips pressed tightly together in what almost looked like a kiss. But Kev knew better.
He could hear the way they breathed into each other’s mouths, not sighing or moaning but simply exchanging gases in a constant, circular flow. Every time Betty breathed out, Rowan inhaled in perfect time with the other woman’s soft, steady exhalations. Every time Betty breathed in, Rowan reversed the situation and fed the contents of her lungs back to Betty. Their legs were pressed tightly to one another’s cunts, constantly squirming and grinding in a show that would have turned Kev’s cock into an iron bar under his robe any other time, but he could tell that they didn’t really care about the sexual act. That was just reflex. They cared about keeping their lips sealed together.
They were definitely past the point of no return, then. Fuck. Kev’s shoulders slumped in resignation. Nothing he could do about it now. The rest was all damage control… and, he admitted, just a tiny bit of the profit motive peeking through. Not that he was thinking about that when he sold Rowan the X a couple of days ago. He wasn’t a monster or anything. But if they were already too far gone to help, then why not at least help himself, right? It wasn’t immoral. It was just recognizing an opportunity when it came along.
“Ladies!” he said, clapping his hands together sharply to get their attention. It didn’t seem like it was going to work at first-the two women continued to grind away at each other, their breasts rubbing together in a display so utterly lascivious that Kev couldn’t help getting at least a little bit of a chubby despite the cold terror that squatted in his gut. But he kept talking, and after a few moments they finally broke their liplock and stared at him with eyes the color of pine forests.
“So I’ve got a special batch of X just for you,” he rambled, trying very hard to ignore the mint green drool trickling down both women’s chins. “It’s a little bit more potent than the usual stuff, I don’t give it to just anybody, but you cats look like you’re ready for the really good shit, am I right?” He smiled and nodded encouragingly, but neither woman responded. They only looked at him, their pupils mere dots in a sea of green now. Kev could actually smell the scent of fresh-mown grass wafting off of their sweat-soaked bodies, and it was all he could do to keep himself from backing out of the room and slamming the door behind him.
“So if you’ll just follow me down to the cellar, I’ve got my, um… production facilities down there. You can meet my suppliers, try a little of the seriously pure stuff, and y’know, hang out a while. As long as you want to, really. Mi casa es su casa, right?” Kev knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t make himself stop; it was the only way to avoid thinking about what he was seeing. The two women were trying to extricate themselves from the bean bag in a way that would have been absolutely hilarious under any other circumstances, their limbs sinking deep into the plush surface and their naked bodies smacking lewdly into one another like they were two aliens coming to grips with human form for the first time. It somehow managed to be utterly fucking terrifying.
“So, um, yeah,” Kev said, knowing that the fastest way to finish this would be to reach over and help them up, and utterly unable to make his body move even a single inch closer to either one of them. “No, it’s really good to see you back here, right? Because you know, sometimes I worry when I sell someone a really big score and they just don’t come back. It’s like, did you find a different dealer, did you OD, did you wander off somewhere or something? It’s just good to know you’re…” His voice trailed off into petrified silence as they lurched to their feet, panting heavily with breath that smelled like they’d been snacking on a lawnmower bag.
“Okay,” he finally finished. The word came out sounding like a lie so big Kev expected to be struck by lightning on the spot.
He wasn’t. Instead, he backed out the door and down the hall, the women following him with stumbling, uncoordinated gaits. “Yep, just down here a little ways. I don’t normally let anyone into my lab, but you know, you seem trustworthy, am I right?” He tried to tell himself that it would be okay to turn around, that they weren’t going to leap on top of him the second he took his eyes off of him and drag him to the floor like zombies in a Romero movie, but his hindbrain wasn’t listening. It wanted to know where they were at all times.
When he got to the basement door, that instinct nearly killed him. He stumbled backward, only his sweaty grip on the handle preventing him from tumbling down two flights of stairs to slam into the locked and reinforced cellar entrance head first. “Whoa!” he yelped, trying to make it sound casual. “Mind the step, huh?” He reached out and gripped the handrail firmly, still unwilling to turn his back on either woman. He went down the stairs backwards the entire way, watching them follow with their careless, half-splayed walk.
“It’s, um, not much farther,” he said, feeling flop sweat soak into his robe. “Just down to the second basement floor, here. It’s kind of old, I think they dug it back when this place was first built. Like, maybe to store shit in? Not, I mean, not actual shit, although I think the grate in the corner maybe connects to the sewer or something, but it’s okay. It smells fine. Honestly, I think you’ll like it in there.” He half turned, fumbling for his keys with shaky hands.
He managed to unlock the door and flung it open, pressing his back against the wall as hard as he could to let the women pass. It never took long once they got to this stage; the moment the door opened, they took great snuffling breaths of the air that escaped the small dark room and staggered through the doorway with a mindless, eager hunger on their faces. They shuffled into the crowd of a half dozen naked, filthy humans with every evidence of genuine excitement.
There were ten of them in the room the last time Kev looked inside, but it wasn’t unusual for a few of them to simply disappear every now and then. Kev sometimes thought about installing a security camera to find out what happened to the ones that went missing, but that meant spending a lot of time down here with the biggest X-heads he knew and Kev wasn’t really down for that. He didn’t even really like opening the door. It always felt like someday they’d be right on the other side waiting for him, arms outstretched, waiting to drag him inside to join them. In his nightmares, they definitely were.
Becky and Rowan didn’t seem frightened, though. They seemed happy, like they’d finally come home. They closed their deep green eyes and took great, heaving lungfuls of the fumes that choked the room and drifted up to the ceiling where they were collected by the pipes that led into Kev’s still. Kev couldn’t help watching their transformation. He knew it wouldn’t be more than a few moments now.
Sure enough, after only seconds both women let their heads fall back on their shoulders, looking straight up as though utterly fascinated by the network of pipes. They opened their mouths wide, almost wider than any human being should be able to stretch their jaws, looking almost like they wanted to swallow the entire world. And then finally, like all the other suppliers in the room, they began to exhale vast quantities of thick green mist from their lungs. X in its purest form, raw and unrefined. X that their bodies now made as naturally as breathing. X that saturated their every cell.
Kev slammed the door shut. He turned the key. Then he went back upstairs to find something to help him get back to sleep.
THE END